Bruised Puffball

Warning: Effects of past abuse

Patton and Virgil had dated since their first year of college. They were roommates and, after they both decided to make puppets in a group therapy session, they got closer socially 'til things became more than platonic for the pair. They pulled some strings to stay roommates until they both graduated college and made it obvious that they cared for one another whether they were near each other or not.

Before Spring Break of their last year in college, Virgil was planning a surprise for Patton. The chipper half of the two seemed really excited about the idea of them spending the vacation together instead of just Skyping each other. Even though he was clearly happy, Virgil knew that it didn't take away from the fact that he needed to ask for permission to hug Patton. One thing Virgil noticed during their first days of knowing each other was that Patton wasn't comfortable when someone tried touching him (which ended up leading to some assholes deliberately touching Patton without warning for the sake of a reaction). Since Virgil was familiar with friends asking to touch him as they help him through a panic attack, Virgil decided, one day, to ask for permission before patting Patton's back, hugging him, passing by him in a small area, even cuddling. As curious as he was about the reason, Virgil decided against asking about it and figured it would be best to wait until Patton was ready.

They packed their things in Virgil's car and hit the road while playing their playlist that alternated between emo music and cartoon soundtracks. After a long drive, they finally made it to a slightly large lake house, which surprised Patton. Virgil explained that the lake house belonged to his parents and they allowed people to rent it out every once in a while. Virgil insisted it would be fair for him to pay rent for the week, so the three of them compromised that he would pay a discounted amount of rent. The two brought their luggage into the house and Patton was surprised by the big inside as well.

"I thought this sort of thing would overwhelm you," Patton said.

"It does, that's why I don't bring up financial class all that often; well, that and short friendships that I found out had nothing to do with me as a person. But, you know, my parents didn't want me to be entitled, so I guess the attitude toward it as a whole worked out for the three of us. They got me into college, but income from Hot Topic helped with everything else," Virgil further explained.

Patton recognized that all Virgil was talking about was something he didn't talk about with a lot of people and he felt a bit special and a bit guilty; special from being one of the few people Virgil had revealed that part of his life to, but guilty from not being ready to be as vulnerable towards Virgil.

By the time they were done unpacking their essentials, it was time for them to eat, so they unanimously voted to have pizza and watch a movie. In the middle of the movie, when they were done, Virgil asked for permission to rest his head on Patton's lap and Patton giggled before responding with, "As long as I have permission to play with your hair."

Soon, as they watched another movie, it went from Virgil having his hair played with while lying on Patton's lap to them cuddling on the couch while sleeping.

At 11:30, Patton fell off the couch and he screamed and begged for his life. Virgil woke up and turned on the light to find Patton shouting such things in his sleep. Virgil crouched down next to Patton and lightly shook him while calling his name. Patton hyperventilated until he woke up and saw Virgil.

"Patton, are you alright?" Virgil asked.

Patton looked around and remembered where and when he was.

"I guess falling off the couch gave me another nightmare," he muttered.

Virgil felt uneasy when he heard the word "another" and wondered why he didn't know if other nightmares he could've helped Patton with.

"Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" Virgil asked.

"Your headphones probably cancel them out while you sleep to horror stories. But don't worry about it," Patton excused.

Throughout the vacation, Virgil noticed some things about Patton that he guessed he hadn't noticed before because of their schedules: he was singing softly to himself at times when he got scared, he got worried when Virgil slowly opened a door without speaking, he occasionally asked Virgil if he was loved (to which Virgil always said yes), and he even panicked when he accidentally dropped a plate (the thing that caused Virgil to finally ask questions). The couple decided to prepare stir fry after a long day of swimming and sightseeing. As the stir fry was almost done, Patton went to grab a plate, but slipped and fell. He dropped the plate as well and was panicking like a child trying to pick up the broken pieces. Virgil approached Patton and when the panicking man saw he stammered out "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, it was an accident! Please don't hurt me!" while cowering. Virgil set the broken pieces aside and did his best to comfort Patton during his panicking state.

"Patton, it's okay. Accidents happen, Pooh Bear. My mom accidentally broke a mug here on their honeymoon once," Virgil softly told him.

Patton grabbed Virgil's hand after remembering his whereabouts and they both stood up. Patton hugged Virgil and sobbed in his shoulder.

"Come on, let's go to the couch. The stir fry can wait," Virgil suggested.

Once they got to the couch, Patton begged for Virgil to hold him while still sobbing. After several minutes, Patton gave Virgil eye contact before looking away.

"You're not going to pester me like the high school students digging around for a story, are you?" Patton asked.

"Of course not. Take as much time as you need," Virgil responded.

The softness in his voice made Patton feel so grateful to have Virgil in his life. Unlike what he was used to, Virgil only looked tough and really was loving.

"I... I was the product of a broken condom. I mean, that's how my father always described me," Patton started.

Patton raised his hand up between himself and Virgil as the latter was about to interrupt.

"My father didn't want me and felt that he would be exposed if he took his frustrations out on my mom, so he did it to me instead since I would be easier to control. It didn't help that I wasn't manly, that I was clumsy, that I wasn't straight, or that he kept this loving persona in the community. I got into this college because of luck and scholarships. On the day my mom drove me to the college, my father came home from work and he ran after the car, I guess while seeing red that his punching bag was leaving."

Patton backed away and revealed some faint scars on his thighs. Virgil's eyes widened and he looked like he was going to cry.

"What happened?" was all he could muster.

"I dropped a plate and he used the broken pieces against me," Patton answered.

"And no one suspected a thing?" Virgil asked.

"He said I would become an orphan if I told anyone, so I would just keep an infinite happy persona in public so no one would ask. My mom confessed a lot as we drove to the campus. My phone number has been changed and he doesn't know the name of the college, but I guess he left a massive impact on me," Patton finished.

Virgil looked at Patton and felt angry for his boyfriend. He wanted to track down Patton's poor excuse for a father. He wanted to be like the A.M. from I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream, and put the monster through his own personal Hell just so he could feel the hurt Patton has felt for years. However, he thought back to Patton's tone and found that he just wanted to escape his past in any way possible. He was about to say something, but Patton stopped him.

"You don't have to ask anymore. I trust that you wouldn't hurt me. Besides, at least one person on campus would know the reason," Patton told him.

Virgil looked at Patton and saw that he was certain about his decision. The emo and the puffball hugged and cried together. For the rest of their vacation and their future, Virgil did his best to remind Patton how much he was loved and that he wouldn't allow anyone to hurt him again.