5 Anime Moments That Made Me Cry as a Child

I've been watching anime for almost as long as I can remember, and I still watch anime today. The shows I watch as an adult usually have more mature themes than what I watched as a kiddo, but there are exceptions. I've found that the Japanese give children, as an audience, more credit than much of the Western world in terms of what themes they can handle in their content. While they have long produced anime and manga aimed at young adults, the "kids' shows" like Sailor Moon, Pokemon, and Dragon Ball don't shy away from the serious stuff when it serves the narrative.

That being said, as an older kid, I definitely watched a few anime that I probably would have delayed viewing by a few years if I had known the content going in. (Thanks, Adult Swim.) But, hell, I've never been one to back down from an emotional challenge. "It builds character." For this list, I've chosen the top five ugly sobbing moments that stick out in my memory. Even though they're not all from children's shows, I know for a fact that thousands of American children experienced these same emotional roller coasters around the same age.

Spoilers ahead for: Digimon Adventure, Rurouni Kenshin, Wolf's Rain, Fullmetal Alchemist, Dragon Ball Z

#5 Digimon Adventure Finale

Digimon Adventure aired in the US as Digimon: Digital Monsters on the Fox Kids network from 1999 to 2000. It was a Saturday morning cartoon for me, and I would have been 7 years old. I was completely enamored with the characters and empathized with their struggles. Maintaining friendships is difficult sometimes. Being in a strange digital world with no obvious way home is difficult always. When I was 7 years old I had no concept of television shows having seasons or ending altogether. I had a very limited understanding of conflict resolution in general. Of course the kids would have liked to return to Earth, but they can't, right?

In the Digimon Adventure finale, to the best of my recollection, the gang discovers a way to go home that comes with a very small window of opportunity. I remember the little old man that guides them explaining how once the eclipse passed, they would be unable to go home, and such an opportunity would not come again for years and years. The kids have time to say their goodbyes to the Digimon companions they've bonded with. One particularly sensitive girl, Mimi, is so distraught by this turn of events that she can't bring herself to speak to her partner, Palmon. At the end, as the kids ride the train home and a familiar song plays, Mimi finally calls out her farewell to Palmon so that nothing is left unsaid before they part forever.

Meanwhile, a 7-year-old Rebekah sits on the living room carpet, leaning between her mother's knees in front of the couch, completely inconsolable. I never would have imagined such an epic story having a bittersweet or even a sad ending. Mom asked me what was wrong. "They can't ever come back, they won't see each other ever again!" Mom tried to comfort me by saying that the show probably wasn't over for good and they would probably see each other again, but in that moment there was really no convincing me.

#4 Kenshin Leaves Kaoru to Go to Kyoto

Rurouni Kenshin was one of the first television love stories of my life. I was already a historical fiction nerd. I read lots of age-appropriate books about fictional young women throughout American history falling in love and eventually finding happiness. Rurouni Kenshin appealed to me on another level; here is historical fiction/romance from a country I knew little about. It's an amazing story that really captures the different social and political challenges at the beginning of the Meiji era from a range of perspectives. There are even women and children featured in prominent roles as independent and capable characters, which I loved as a little girl. Additionally, I feel the localization and performances of the English cast are especially good for its time. To this day, I'll hear an English voice in an anime and go, "That's Kaoru!" or "That's Yahiko!" Iconic.

The romance between Kenshin and Kaoru is often about what goes unsaid between them. In fact, I think the marketing did more to inform me of the genre than the on-screen action. I was also probably a little young to pick up on the more subtle cues between them. The dead-giveaways I knew from Western media weren't there. There wasn't any hugging or kissing or confessing feelings. But you see the lengths to which Kenshin will go to defend Kaoru and her dojo, and the way Kaoru worries about him. Kaoru learns about his past as "Batosai the Manslayer", and she tells him up front that she doesn't care about who he used to be. It rarely needs to be repeated, and you can tell how deeply Kenshin appreciates her for it.

There comes a point in the story where a plot to disrupt the new government comes too close to home to ignore, and Kenshin must travel to Kyoto to face the threat. His goodbye to Kaoru is heartbreaking. Kenshin makes it clear that he must leave, and she must stay, and he will make sure to never put her in danger again by staying away. They finally embrace, and she watches him walk away.

People who had read the manga or seen the anime already knew that it wasn't really the end of their relationship. I'm pretty sure it only takes a few minutes of screentime for the rest of the cast to convince Kaoru to stop moping and go after him. But in that moment, I couldn't know that. This beautiful couple with wonderful chemistry who were clearly meant for each other were parting forever. Yep, I cried hard. (Even re-reading the manga as an adult, I cried hard.)

#3 Wolf's Rain, Toboe Kills a Bird

Those of you who don't know about Wolf's Rain because it's not one of "the big ones", please go watch it, especially if you love crying. Those of you who know and love Wolf's Rain are probably wondering, "of all the absolutely devastating things in Wolf's Rain, why is she so upset about the bird?" Okay, listen. I watched the entirety of Wolf's Rain in one sitting, late into the night, with a very good friend of mine a very long time ago. I don't remember most of it. Beyond the premise, I'm actually pretty foggy here. But that early moment when Toboe kills a bird? That burned into my little kid brain.

Wolf's Rain takes place in a desolate dystopian future controlled by the Nobles. There are wolves. Well, there used to be wolves, but they're all gone now, except they aren't. The wolves who are left have the ability to disguise themselves as humans and try to live among them, but that's not easy. They're simply different animals, literally. One wolf, Kiba, believes in an old legend about a place called Paradise and he convinces a few others to join him in his search for it.

In the early episodes, each of the other three wolves experiences something that pushes them into the decision to leave their lives in the human city. Toboe is young, he is naive, and he feels deeply. He strikes up a friendship with a human girl who has a falcon. When Toboe sees the falcon fly away from her, he rushes to retrieve it. She didn't ask him to, and she doesn't even seem too concerned that the bird went for a fly, but Toboe doesn't really think about it. He just goes for it. The audience sees Toboe, as a wolf, go for the bird.

When the girl catches up to him, Toboe (now as a human) excitedly hands her the limp body of the bird. You know the thing where your cat leaves you something dead as a present? That's definitely something I'd heard about as a kid, and so I understood where Toboe was coming from and why he did what he did. The girl, sort of stunned but not emoting too much, observes that the bird is dead, and the reality of the situation slowly dawns on Toboe. He falls to his knees and apologizes, repeating that he didn't mean to kill it, he didn't think it would die. The simplicity of the scenario, the music, and the direction of the scene all came together for little-me. Toboe allows the girl to see him as a wolf (a very dangerous decision) as he howls his remorse for a moment before a fellow wolf snatches him away to safety. And Rebekah cries for the first of many times that evening.

#2 Fullmetal Alchemist, Nina

I mean... do I even have to elaborate here? This is one of the most widely known and most memed-about gut punches in anime nerd culture.

For those who don't know, it would take a long time to explain the entire premise of Fullmetal Alchemist. In this story, there are people who can perform alchemy, turning some things into other things, a practice governed by the absolute concept of "equivalent exchange." "To obtain, something of equal value must be lost." That's just the way the magic works, and no one has successfully found a way around it. By extension, transmutation using humans is the greatest taboo. It has never worked, we don't know what could possibly be "of equal value" to a human life, the results are always life-alteringly disasterous.

And then there's this guy: Shou Tucker. He obtained his State Alchemist's License two years prior by creating a chimera that was capable of human speech. It didn't live long; its existence was so miserable that it refused to eat and starved itself. Chimeras are created by magically squishing together two or more animals. Using humans in the creation of a chimera is forbidden, and thought to have never succeeded anyway. Anyway, Shou Tucker, a widower and father to a young girl named Nina, is under pressure to produce a suitable display to renew his license.

Astute viewers probably put the pieces together sooner than I did, a young teen with my face inches from the TV screen in the middle of the night because my headphones didn't reach very far. The show spends one episode building up Nina's relationship with the young protagonists, Ed and Al, and endearing her to the audience. The next episode, Tucker has produced a new chimera capable of human speech. Ed is totally impressed at first. Then the chimera speaks, "Ed...ward? Big brother, Ed...ward?" Ed realizes the truth that Tucker transmuted Nina and her dog to create this chimera, and used his late wife in the creation of the first one. Tucker shows no remorse. I distinctly remember quietly crawling back into bed that night thinking that was the most messed-up thing I'd ever watched.

#1 Dragon Ball Z, Vegeta's Sacrifice

I'm a sucker for a villain-turned-hero redemption arc. I'm also completely obsessed with Dragon Ball. Like, completely. I cannot overstate this. On top of that, I'm a Vegeta fangirl and always have been. I watched Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z when they aired on Cartoon Network's Toonami block. Because this was the early 2000's and we didn't have the kind of access to on-demand content that we do now, I saw a lot of the series out of order. My first episodes of Dragon Ball were actually from the Cell Games saga, which at the time was pretty late in the series chronology. After that, I did get to watch from the "beginning" of DBZ (which in Japan was simply a continuation of Dragon Ball), but sometimes I'd have to miss an episode for life obligations. I missed so, so many episodes of Dragon Ball Z and Sailor Moon over piano lessons, and I have regrets.

Even though I saw the Namek saga, I missed the part where Vegeta dies the first time, but I had a good overview of the rest of his character arc. Watching the Buu saga for the first time, I got to witness the real meat of the redemption of Vegeta. He was a very proud warrior having trouble reconciling his thirst for raw strength with his new life as a family man. He gave himself willingly to the "dark side" in pursuit of power, and murdered innocent bystanders in front of his wife. In the end, he still doesn't surpass Goku; the gamble didn't pay off.

Meanwhile, a powerful foe, Majin Buu, is threatening the planet. Vegeta makes a decision. He takes a moment to hold his son, realizing that he's never once done so. Once all allies are out of harm's way, Vegeta uses up all of his power in an attempt to defeat Buu. In his final moments, he dedicates the act to his wife, his son, and yes, even to you, Goku. He dies; his body turned to stone, falling to the dirt and shattering. Oh, by the way, he's already been "wished back" once, so for the moment everyone believes he won't be able to come back again. Vegeta is perma-dead.

I must have been nine or ten years old at the time. I didn't handle the deaths of fictional characters very well. (I guess I still don't.) I ran up to my room, flopped onto my bed, buried my face in a pillow, and sobbed for ten minutes. I wore myself out with grief. My Vegeta was dead forever. Thankfully, nobody ever really dies for good in Dragon Ball. There's usually another set of backup dragon balls on hand.

But like many of the other moments on this list, all that mattered to me was the raw emotion of the moment. That's how we know a story is good, right? A lovingly crafted story that will make me cry my guts out is truly sublime in my book. (Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to call Dragon Ball "sublime". Forgive me.)