5 | A Parody of Visual Novels that Features Friends of Mine

(Note: Kenny here. Check the fourth chapter on my profile. Just in case you've missed it. For a relatively old piece, I think the plot is kind of interesting. At least the gaming part. I thought that was pretty cool.)

After the Gacha club activities end, I tell the girls farewell and leave back home with Nig-san, as usual.

NIG-SAN: Wumpucchi, so what did you think of the Gacha club?

YOU: Hnh? Oh, it was cool, I guess.

NIG-SAN: R-really?!

YOU: …I guess so.

NIG-SAN: Yay! Now you have new friends! But I recommend not getting too close to Dino. She’s… eh…

YOU: I see.

I don’t really know what else to say after that. It’s not like I had anything to say anyway.

NIG-SAN: So… where are we going?

YOU: “We?”

NIG-SAN: Nn.

YOU: I’m going home. Aren’t you going to do your Mudae stuff?

NIG-SAN: Hnn… not right now, anyway. There is a timer, as you’ve already seen.

In Mudae, there is a time interval. You can only claim characters two hours a day, but there are commands that can reset the time interval, like $rt and $fc. Of course, with Mudae Premium, you can have a shorter time limit.

YOU: Ah, I see.

YOU: So anyway… you’ve never told me about that Gacha club.

NIG-SAN: Sorry, Wumpucchi! I just thought… it would be shameful! I mean, shameful for me, as an honor roll student, to be doing such frivolous things! I don’t care about your opinion or anything!

YOU: …right. But how could you keep you being president a secret?

NIG-SAN: Er, the Gacha club is sort of… “secret.” Only the members and a few other people know about it.

YOU: Hm. Ok. But that paper from earlier can be seen from anyone. So how did Grotech get it…?

NIG-SAN: Uhhhh… I…

YOU: You what?

NIG-SAN: I printed a paper and handed it to Grotech, who agreed that she would give it to you and help you make more friends by joining!! There, I said it!!

YOU: You could’ve just asked, but…

NIG-SAN: W-well, anyway, I’m gonna come home with you too! J-jeez! I didn’t ask!!

Neither did I?

YOU: …

NIG-SAN: I’m too tired to be mad right now!! Arghh!!

She pouts. I just do a slight grin and turn away, so she doesn’t notice.

YOU: Oh, Nig-san…

I pat her head.

NIG-SAN: D-don’t pat me!

She punches my chest.

YOU: Oof.

We just walk and talk on our way to my house. Normally Nig-san would just sleep or come to visit on the weekend, but today is a weekday, which is totally unpredictable.

Grotech greets us as soon as I ring the doorbell.

GROTECH: You could’ve just opened the door. Me coming to the door is too much effort.

YOU: So lazy!

Grotech ignores me and just greets Nig-san. I don’t acknowledge this as abnormal, because she always does that.

GROTECH: Oh, hello, Nig-san!

NIG-SAN: Hi, Grotech-chan!

Nig-san squishes Grotech’s cheeks.

NIG-SAN: You’ve gotten so big!

GROTECH: B…but…you’ve just…c-came over earlier today…

Nig-san becomes flushed.

NIG-SAN: Er, indeed. Anyway, I’ve decided I’ll come over and play games with Wumpucchi.

Nig-san rudely enters in the house despite the fact nobody told her to. Well, whatever.

YOU: I… see… well, I’m gonna change into my home clothes…

NIG-SAN: I-I don’t mind sitting in your room and waiting, tehehe…

GROTECH: Wumpus? I didn’t know you two were dating! How could’ve I have not-

YOU: Argh! We are not dating!

GROTECH: -I see.

Nig-san is quiet. Does she actually feel that way for me…? I think about it, but then I deduce that she is teasing me. Again.

She always teases me for annoying reasons, but she also seems to chat with other guys in a teasing way as well. So I think I’m just her childhood friend and nothing other than that.

YOU: Uh, Nig-san, wait here with Grotech.

GROTECH: Huh?!

NIG-SAN: Yay! Grotech-chan is sooo cute!

GROTECH: Y-yes… uh, big brother, hurry back.

YOU: Alright.

As I leave, I look behind back and I see Nig-san strangling Grotech, whilst Grotech tries to escape her grasp. How dramatic.

Nig-san and Grotech actually get along, but Grotech hates the fact that Nig-san sometimes harasses her. She even rants about her in secret.

I head off to my room and get dressed. However, I see a girl who seems to be my age staring at me from my window. I feel my ears getting hotter. However, the girl just smiles, and closes her blinds.

YOU: Who…?

I do not recognize her from anywhere, by the way. I would’ve just reported her to the cops for seemingly stalking me, but it’s also my fault for not closing my blinds.

After I change, I come downstairs to make sure Grotech and Nig-san aren’t doing anything funny behind my back.

However, they are. And in the living room, too.

NIG-SAN: It’s not my fault! She told me to eat them!

GROTECH: Nhh! I thought dad bought them!

YOU: Uh… dad did buy them… but for all of us to share?

They were eating French chocolate bars. We don’t have a lot of them, and there is just half left for me. I’ve never even tried them…

GROTECH: It’s your fault for taking too long anyway!

YOU: You do have a point… but couldn’t you have used common sense to save some for me? Obviously I wanted some… and I haven’t even eaten anything all day!

GROTECH: Uh… couldn’t you have ate the lunch mom packed for you?

I forgot about that. I should’ve brought it with me, but I was in a rush to leave.

NIG-SAN: You ate our snacks at the Gacha club an hour ago. Don’t you dare lie, Wumpucchi!

GROTECH: Hm? So he’s basically double-dipping!

NIG-SAN: Yeah!

YOU: …

They just destroyed every and any argument I was about to make. Grotech splits the chocolate that was supposed to be for me with Nig-san, and then eats it in front of me as if nothing happened. Then she changes the topic.

GROTECH: So you joined the Gacha club? Congrats.

YOU: Uhm, yes. I did.

GROTECH: How… unexpected?

YOU: That’s just really mean…

GROTECH: I didn’t really mean to offend you, I just thought it was weird you would join something y—

Grotech stops herself and then puts a hand to her chin. Then she shakes her head like she made a profound discovery or something.

GROTECH: Ah, I see. You just came because you want to make a harem, right?

YOU: Never have I once thought of that. But when you put it that way…

YOU: Oh no, I’m inadvertently creating a harem!

GROTECH: Liar. You knew from the start, onii! Didn’t you?!

YOU: N-no…

We continue bickering back and forth until Grotech points out that Nig-san is missing.

GROTECH: Nig-san is missing.

YOU: I heard you the first time, jeez…

I dial her phone number, and hear a ring coming from… my room?

GROTECH: Hnn? Rings from your room…? Does this mean senpai is a pervert?

YOU: Shut up…

GROTECH: I’m serious. Slipping away to your room? Out of all the places in the world, and she decides to go to your room?

YOU: It’s because I’m her friend!

GROTECH: Correction: childhood friend. You’ve known each other for years, so she has likely developed feelings for you.

I hate to admit she has a point. I just silently go up the stairs, with Grotech following me.

Nig-san is just lying down on my bed.

YOU: …

GROTECH: …

GROTECH: Uhm, I better stay here before an, ahem, certain something happens.

YOU: And you say she’s a pervert…

GROTECH: Ok, wake her up.

YOU: I am.

I slowly go over to the sleeping girl, and then…

…I pull the covers from the bed.

Nig-san quickly wakes up.

NIG-SAN: Eugh?!?! What is wrong with you?!?!

YOU: Errrr, you were sleeping so I decided to wake you up?

NIG-SAN: Wh… wait, if I’m sleeping, shouldn’t you not wake me up?? Idiot!!

YOU: You sound like an annoying tsundere right now…

NIG-SAN: I-I’m not a tsundere! You’re a tsundere!

YOU: …I see. Well anyway…

I scramble for a way to change the topic.

YOU: …we are going to… uh…

Grotech comes to the rescue, as if she is on cue.

GROTECH: We are going to see the new neighbors! I’m sure we should say hello to them, right?

NIG-SAN: Hn? You have new neighbors? Wumpucchi, why didn’t you tell me?!

YOU: Uh… because you didn’t ask?

Just kidding. I honestly didn’t know we had new neighbors. It’s not like I visit them, either.

NIG-SAN: Hmmm. Well then, let’s go!

Nig-san jumps out of the bed. Her shirt flew up in the process, and I saw her bra.

NIG-SAN: Wh-what are you doing?!

She slaps me and runs off.

NIG-SAN: Pervert!

YOU: It’s not like I wanted to see or anything…

GROTECH: Tehe. Well, the neighbors are next door.

YOU: I thought you were lying to help me out…

GROTECH: I never tell lies.

That was ironically a lie.

GROTECH: I guesspose we should get going.

YOU: Sure.

I’m going to ask Nig-san later on how grammatically accurate “guesspose” is.

YOU: Well… let’s not keep Nig-san waiting!

GROTECH: Mm.

Grotech runs down the stairs at literally 500 miles per hour. I simply just walk.

(Note: In case you were wondering why "Wumpus" is "You," it's because in visual novels you usually play as the main character. So I thought it would be fine if "you" were "Wumpus.")