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20 Memorable Quotes from Heathers (1988)

Winona Ryder stars as Veronica Sawyer in Michael Lehmann's iconic 80s movie, Heathers. Here are the most memorable - and hilarious - quotes from the film, which was written by Daniel Waters.

By Svetlana SterlinPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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Content warning: suicidal themes.

Michael Lehmann’s 1988 dark comedy Heathers is a brutal inspection of the way teens are treated by adults and society at large. Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder) finds herself part of the school’s most popular clique, which is lead by three Heathers: Heather McNamara (Lisanne Falk), Heather Chandler (Kim Walker), and Heather Duke (Shannen Doherty). However, Veronica doesn’t actually like her friends. When she offhandedly suggests to her boyfriend Jason “J.D.” (Christian Slater) that they kill Heather Chandler and make it look like a suicide, he takes her joke a little too seriously.

The film handles a lot of dark material with a compelling blend of levity and seriousness, which encourages viewers to think about high school clique culture, the way adults and teens perceive each other, and why so many teens are driven to suicide.

Sharp and witty, the clever script provides characters with many opportunities to offer their two cents on what it means to be an American teenager. The dialogue in Heathers is rich with dark humor, sarcasm, and social commentary.

1.

Veronica Sawyer: “How very.”

2.

Veronica Sawyer: “You’re not a rebel! You’re f***ing psychotic!”

Jason Dean: “You say ‘tom-a-to’, I say ‘to-mah-to’.”

3.

Heather Chandler: “Well, f*** me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?”

4.

Veronica Sawyer: “If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn’t be a human being; you’d be a gameshow host.”

5.

Jason Dean: “Greetings and salutations … Are you a Heather?”

Veronica Sawyer: “I’m a Veronica. Sawyer.”

6.

Veronica Sawyer: “I just killed my best friend!”

Jason Dean: “And your worst enemy.”

Veronica Sawyer: “Same difference.”

7.

Veronica Sawyer: “She’s my best friend. God, I hate her.”

8.

Veronica Sawyer: “Dear Diary, my teen angst bulls*** now has a body count.”

9.

Veronica Sawyer: “All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.”

Veronica’s dad: “I don’t patronize bunny rabbits.”

10.

Heather McNamara: “Heather, it’s your turn.”

Heather Chandler: “No, Heather, it’s Heather’s turn.”

Heather Duke: “Sorry, Heather.”

11.

Veronica Sawyer: “What’s your damage, Heather?”

12.

Heather Duke: “Veronica, you look like Hell.”

Veronica Sawyer: “Yeah? I just got back.”

13.

Veronica’s mom: “When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it’s usually because they are being treated like human beings.”

14.

Jason Dean: “People will look at the ashes of Westerburg and say, ‘Now, there’s a school that self-destructed, not because society didn’t care, but because the school was society.’ Now that’s deep.”

15.

Jason Dean: “Our love is God. Let’s go get a Slushie.”

16.

Veronica Sawyer: “I don’t really like my friends.”

Jason Dean: “I don’t really like your friends, either.”

Veronica Sawyer: “Well, it’s just like – they’re people I work with, and our job is being popular and s***.”

17.

Heather Chandler: “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? First, you ask if you can be red, knowing that I’m always red.”

18.

Heather Chandler: “Is this turnout weak or what? I had at least 70 more people at my funeral … God, Veronica, my afterlife is so boring. If I have to sing ‘Kumbaya’ one more time …”

19.

Jason Dean: “You don’t get it, do you? Society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think upon itself.”

20.

Heather McNamara: “God has cursed me, I think – the last guy I had sex with killed himself the next day, I’m failing Math, I was supposed to be cheerleading captain …”

Originally shared with Our Culture Magazine.

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About the Creator

Svetlana Sterlin

Svetlana Sterlin is based in Brisbane, Australia, where she writes prose, poetry, and screenplays. The founding editor of swim meet lit mag, she also edits with Voiceworks.

More from Svetlana: https://linktr.ee/svetlanasterlin

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