2 | A Parody of Visual Novels that Features Friends of Mine

(Note: This is the second part. If you haven't read it you can check it out on my profile)

The sound of Nig-san’s sneakers clopping on the floors slowly fades away, and suddenly, I’m left alone.

Since the halls are silent, it’s easy to assume everyone is attending their classes. Which they are.

I was contemplating pretending I am sick so I can leave class because this situation is embarrassing, until I see a cute girl coming my way. I recognize her immediately as Dino Lava, whom I sometimes see sulking near the girl’s bathroom. Not to use it, but to use her phone.

She has a makes a little surprised shriek as soon as she sees me, but upon recognizing me, she calms down.


DINO: Hello, Wumpus-san.

She also greets everyone with “-san,” no matter who you are. So logically, I have to greet her with the same. Because I will feel guilty if I don’t.

YOU: Hello, Dino-san.

Dino is in the attends the same classes as me. She has a flat chest, which is a bit disappointing for a gamer girl like her. Wait, no. She isn’t a gamer girl, because she plays mobile games. Anyway, she has a healthy peach skin tone, like Grotech and Nig-san. She is the same age as me, and she usually wears a hoodie with cat ears drooping down. In addition, she wears thigh-high stockings. Like Nig-san.

DINO: Do you want me to report you to the principal…?

YOU: Uh-er-um…

DINO: Well, whatever. A pervert like you won’t be expelled anyway.

What does she even mean by that…?

DINO: So what do you want? Do you need me to… “help” you with your homework again or something?

YOU: D-don’t say it so loudly!

DINO: Oh. Sorry, Wumpus-san.

YOU: So…

DINO: What?

YOU: …

DINO: …

YOU: …

DINO: …

YOU: …uh, I was just about to get to classes…

DINO: Ah, I see. Also, have you seen Nig-san anywhere?

YOU: Uh, she just went to class a few minutes ago.

Something else to note about Dino is the fact she seems to hate Nig-san. But Nig-san, in turn, wants to be her friend.

DINO: Good. Anyway, I’ll be going now.

YOU: Alright. See you later, Dino-san.

DINO: Same to you, I suppose…? I’m heading to the Gacha club after school. Not because I’m interested or anything, but because they have snacks and things like that. So don’t get the wrong idea.

YOU: Huh? You are interested in something? How-

DINO: I said I’m not interested. Goodness, Wumpus-san.

I think she did a slight grin, but that might’ve been my imagination because Dino wouldn’t ever do something like that. Her face is mainly neutral. I mean, she did just shriek, but that’s different.

YOU: Grotech wanted me to join the Gacha club, so… I was thinking I might stop by to check it out.

DINO: Ah, since you’re coming, I’ll just go back home then.

What did I ever do to you?!?!

YOU: Oh Dino…

She doesn’t say anything and just goes back on her phone. Then she bumps into my chest.

DINO: Gh… Wumpus-san… w… you are in the way…

YOU: S-sorry?

She could’ve just went the other way, but I move anyway.

She seemed in a hurry to leave after that.

Oh god, I should probably just leave the school now, but my instincts just tell me to hurry to class.

I think it’s math right now, so I try to find the classroom.

I find the math classroom, but everyone seems to be ready to transition to the next class. So I decide to go hide in the bathroom and explain myself to Kiri, my math teacher.

Her real name is Kirino, but everyone calls her Kiri for short. She doesn’t seem to mind, and she is a “kind sensei.” She has an onee-san body figure and short hair.

All of the guys in class want her to be their onee-san, actually. But they don’t tell her, of course.

She kind of looks like a sub but she isn’t.

I sneak to the bathroom until I see everyone leave. Everyone leaves, and once I see that the coast is clear, I go to Kiri before she goes elsewhere.

YOU: Kiri-s-s-sensei…

KIRINO: Huh? Wumpus?! What are you doing here?!

Actually, it might have been a bad idea to turn myself in. Judging from the way she just spoke, she probably forgot I existed.

KIRINO: Wumpus, I thought you were in the next class! What are you doing roaming around?!



YOU: Uhhh......

Her memory is a bit awful, and I can’t blame her because I am the most forgettable person ever. I should’ve just went to the next class and pretended nothing happened. But now I’m about to be scolded because I-

KIRINO: No “uhhh’s.” Just go to the next class. I will even guide you since you are lost.

YOU: It’s fine, Kiri-sensei.

KIRINO: No it’s not. You obviously don’t know where you are going.

YOU: I guess since I have no other choice…

KIRINO: You don’t. Now come.

She grabs my hands and walks me to my English class.

YOU: …

How embarrassing? Well, at least I’m not in trouble.

As soon as we get there, she pats my head and leaves. I blush and quickly look away. She leaves anyway.

(Extra note: I'm a bit embarrassed of my own work.)