11 Things That Ruin A Movie For Me

Movies are beloved.

Since the earliest films, to the era of silent films to the blockbusters of today, audiences have always been glued to screens looking to be entertained, to be taught, to be inspired and to fulfil their curiosities among others needs from films.

I love to watch Hollywood classics because I get to see what life was like or at least a version of it in the 1920s and other eras. I love to see the cars the people drove, the issues they talked about, the clothes they wore, the devices and appliances that they used etc.

I love to watch Laurel and Hardy films, particularly because they get to drive through Hollywood boulevard a lot in the scenes and as they drive, you can see the palm trees of Hollywood at their infancy. It’s fascinating!

Films impact us in various ways. They tell us stories about lands we have never been to or lands we will never be to. Films mirror our societies, they tell stories, they model and shape our cultures and they help us freeze time while keeping records of the times they were shot in for future generations to enjoy and to learn.

“You come out of a film a different person than you went in.” — Michael Jackson

There are various ways to watch the latest films in 2020. Not even a global pandemic can kill the film industry or the love for films from audiences all over the globe.

Blockbusters are going straight to streaming in cities where cinemas are closed and their release dates are being pushed forward to ensure that moviegoers get to see them in the big screens later.

Reviewing movies is a business in itself with various sites such as rotten tomatoes, available to serve this purpose. There are also various YouTubers who dedicate their channels to reviewing movies and they receive a considerable number of views.

I will rarely watch a movie before reading a review of it. I wouldn’t want to be bored or to lose interest midway.

But it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes movies can go way overboard and leave us not so pleased.

Here are the things that ruin a movie for me.

Carrying empty suitcases

A character gets mad, grabs a suitcase fast and leaves banging the door behind them. Please! Quit the fake drama and come back character. We can all tell that that suitcase is empty!

Can’t they stuff some heavy rocks in there or something, or stuff it with foam or anything to make the suitcase look and feel heavy or something?

Showing parts of a woman in sex scenes and not showing the man parts

The double standard here is annoying. If you show us a woman’s breasts and ass, please also show us the man’s ass and other parts. We want to see the man too. Sexualise the man too.

Having alternative endings to well known historical events

Quentin Tarantino’s movies are the core culprit here. Why does he do that? We all know how Hitler died! Why do you want to entertain us with your own wishful versions of how he died! Why do you create alternative endings to historical events?

We know the full version of the Charles Manson murders. Was the ending to A long Time Ago In Hollywood necessary?

I understand that scriptwriters and movie directors are artists who are at liberty to exercise their artistic freedoms however they please. But I sometimes feel that giving alternative endings to well known and significant historical events could be spreading misinformation.

In a society where entertainment will spread faster than information, a lot of people may end up believing in fabrications at the expense of the true story.

Slow plot and storylines

Nigerian movies are the culprits here. You could leave a Nigerian movie running, go take a 45-minute nap and come back and still catch on seamlessly!

Look movie, I am giving you two hours of my life. Take me there quick! Slow plotlines are boring and are not entertaining at all! They deliver the exact opposite of what they intend.

Not eating food or eating it sparingly

It infuriates me in movies when the characters are sitting at the table for dinner, breakfast or other meals, or when they are at a party with lots of food and no one seems to be eating it.

It totally goes against normal human behaviour. In most gatherings, I have been in, nobody snobs food and treats food as though it’s plastic.

I hate it when a character bites of a sandwich and leaves the rest or when people at dinner barely touch their food.

I am aware that the food could be props or something that might be inedible. Or the many takes it might have taken to get the perfect take might have rendered the food unappealing but please, eat the food in front of you character!

As a person who grows food and understands the time, energy, finances and stress it takes to successfully grow a crop, I associate this practice with food wastage. And considering the major role films as a medium play in shaping our cultures, they are usually failing here as to me, they are inadvertently contributing to food wastage in our current dire environmental degradation and food insecurity state.

Destroying food

This one ties with the earlier point. I get really offended when a character at a wedding throws themselves at a whole fountain cake for drama on the plot lines.

Food fights are also super annoying to me. What’s the point of wasting all that food! I understand again that some of them are props but still… No!

Movies get to be seen all over the world and might be seen by people who never have enough to eat, I think it would be responsible for scriptwriters to consider this and write storylines where food and everything else around it are given the full respect it deserves.

I would wish food in films was not taken as toys or playthings for the amusement of audiences.

I don’t mind when an angry female character throws an expensive wine at an annoying male character because I would totally do that.

Destroying property

A housewife gets angry at a cheating husband and throws an expensive iPhone into the pool or breaks an expensive vase or trashes his car…

I do understand that these things also happen in real life and the items being destroyed could be props but still…

When an expensive car gets trashed or a house gets burnt down it might ruin a movie for me however important to the storyline that scene is.

How do you just destroy good things? It takes a lot of time, energy and effort to acquire property. I flinch when property gets destroyed in movies.

Obvious lies!

The impossible always happens in movies. That’s why we go to see them anyway. Because they play with our fantasies and with our wildest dreams. They take us to places we have never been making us believe in wonderful, unbelievable and magical things.

But there is a limit to everything. There is no way on earth a child can fall 20 floors down and be found intact. There is no way a man can be shot ten times on the foot and he still manages to run for over five hours without tending to his wounds. There is no way!

Have you ever watched a Bollywood movie? The obvious embellishments will crack your ribs.

A good movie should be able to make you believe that the impossible can happen. It could be through impossible stunts, farfetched theories, impeccable editing and good storytelling with few or no plot holes. But obvious lies completely ruin a movie for me. A good movie should be able to make the lies believable.

Offensive jokes

I think we can entertain without attacking or offending others.

Jokes that seem to take shots at other personalities, cultures or ethnicities completely ruin a movie for me.

The Michael Jackson character in Scary Movie was insensitive and offensive. They exploited his vulnerabilities for gags from audiences hurting his feelings and the feelings of his family and fans.

Movies that seem to make fun of members of the marginalised groups such as the LGBTQ, people suffering from disorders, fat people etc are a no for me.

We can entertain without offending others.

Bad accents

If you are producing a movie about African characters, please get persons that can get the accents right. Hire Africans themselves to help best tell your story.

Bad accents are annoying. They lead to confusing characters. Are you telling a story or are you making fun of the people you are telling the story about? Are you appropriating their culture for commercial gain?

Characters looking all sharp and fabulous even in questionable situations

Well, even if you are Beyoncé we know you definitely didn’t wake up looking like that.

When a character, particularly female characters appear in scenes waking up in the morning and their hair and makeup is all done, it leaves puzzling questions. That is not even reality, to begin with!

Characters playing housewives also meet their guests at their doors impeccably dressed and while wearing polished high heels. Who chills at their homes wearing cashmere and six inches all day long?

By doing so movies create unrealistic standards and expectations for people in real life who might feel the need to be these unrealistic things in their everyday lives.

Spreading Misinformation

If you are about to create a work of art that will reach audiences in the millions, you better get your facts right.

I understand that works of fiction have leeway for artistic freedom, but there should be a balance between what is fictional and what creative licences can lead to misinformation.

If you are telling the story of the Maasai, present their cultures appropriately. Don’t show them eating pizza frequently and out of context when we know their diet is mainly meat and milk

What are the things that ruin movies for you?