The Spectator's Review: 'Dark Souls Remastered'

I hadn't heard about the Dark Souls series until my husband picked up Dark Souls III and if you like playing on chaos mode and having plenty of nightmare fuel, this game is absolutely for you.

Considering I've never seen the first two games of the series, this made for an interesting review because I'm mostly comparing it to Dark Souls III which I thoroughly enjoyed. But let's move on to more important matters.

Funny story: when my husband first started playing the third installment of this series, he played for about fifteen minutes before he became irritated with the game's infamous mechanics and put it down for a number of months before I convinced him to pick it back up. He ended up loving it so much that now I have something to review because he played through it and then bought the remastered version.

So, some would probably argue with me that this game definitely has a plot and I'm just too blinded by the amazing graphics to see it. But, and I'm being frank here, if this game has a plot, not only have I not been able to figure it out after hours of watching, but I don't really care about it either.

Our main character (whom we customized to have insane proportions) we named, no joke, Thikk Mcgee. That's how much we cared for the plot.

Aside from storyline, I love every other aspect of this series and I'm glad they decided on making the remastered version.

The Breakdown

1. Graphics and Aesthetics

I could go on for hours about this game's graphics because they do such an amazing job of capturing the essence of the premise of the world and premise of the game. It's dark, it's dreary, it's mythical, everything is hard, and it has bold lines and richly dark colors. There is this religious-Gothic feel that I enjoy in both video games and media where all of the more daunting features of medieval and eastern-orthodox Christianity meet in this world that seems to have lost its humanity. If I had to imagine purgatory as a physical place, this would be it.

Even the lighter areas, the places where the colors brighten up a few shades and things aren't trying to constantly murder you while you stand idly for a few seconds, are usually done in sad, blue shades. Objects tend to move slowly and erratically unless you're within their kill range. Then they are the fastest moving creature on Earth. Most of the NPC's don't move more than a hair's width. They're usually perched or leaning or squatting in some... place.

Either way, the graphics of this game are fun to look at though I do feel that the game designers may have gotten a little carried away with some of the monsters in this. I mean...

Ok...

Is that a hand attached to more hands?

What the actual hell?!

Enjoy your dreams tonight.

2. Music and SFX

So all the music in this game sounds pretty similar to me. I can't really define one soundtrack from another unless it's a boss battle and that's only because they sound just a bit more ominous than the regular music.

I do have a soft spot in my heart for all men and all women choir music intended to scare the living daylights out of people, but Dark Souls uses it so often that I think I might be numb to it.

Everything else sounds gross and slimy, which is perfect for a game like this, heh.

3. Storyline and Plot

As I previously stated, if this game actually has some kind of storyline I still haven't completely figured it out. Our main character seems to be on a quest to save the realm/himself. Why not both?

And if it was that simple then I still have no problem with that because the game is enjoyable to watch and, oh hey, everything is still trying to murder you regardless!

4. Game Mechanics

So this is probably why I enjoy Dark Souls so much. Anyone who has ever played this game knows the special features that do not truly allow you to pause or save without sitting at one of the few checkpoints scattered across the map. Dying means your progress is not saved and you will have to usually start over from your most recent save point. Even though there are others that may be playing along-side you like you would in an online game, they aren't intrusive as they usually are in online games. They may attack you and take your things and you can also collaborate with them.

The game doesn't have standard autosave features so you are constantly in danger of being killed whenever you are away from your controller while the game is in progress. Unless of course, you are at a bonfire checkpoint, which becomes a godsend in your miserable life.

The only thing I don't enjoy about the mechanics is how battle is handled. Everything feels weird and uncoordinated as if you're moving in some kind of plasma instead of air. If you don't time swings and dodges just right, an enemy can literally wipe you out in two long-range swings, and that's irritating. Movement also has to be precise because you'll fall... a lot.

Overall, if you like a challenge and spending hours into the early dawn not sleeping because that thing from the third picture is lurking in the shadows of your bedroom (because who really needs sleep?) then you'll probably enjoy this game.

Watch out for those chests.