REVIEW: Bus Driver Simulator

Simulators seem like a strange idea. To play a simulation of a job, we pay a premium. They are trying to replicate the experience. However, I have spent a lot of time on simulators such as Euro Truck Simulator 2, American Truck Simulator (TSS), Train Simulator World, and Train Simulator World. At this point, I feel more than qualified to review simulators. KishMish Games has developed Bus Driver Simulator on Nintendo Switch.

What is Bus Driver Simulation? You drive a bus in the simulator. It's a simulator that allows you to drive a bus. Instead of trying to replicate driving a bus, developers should aim to make it as realistic as possible. The big question is, "Does it do it well?" Yes, it does at its core. However, this doesn't save the simulator.

Simulator for Bus DriversThe first impressions are terrible. The menus look terrible and are very basic. You probably know enough about rubbish simulators to know that this is an immediate greeting that can send you running for your lives, or make you laugh at how terrible the experience will be. I started the tutorial from the main menu. I was then directed through the basic controls in broken English.The world's largest text bubbles.

The game is also horrendous. It is difficult to express how horrible the graphics look. It would be a disservice to call it a game from late 1990s. But it doesn't look like a game of the 2000s/2010s. It's somewhere between. It's like an optical illusion that manages to be retro and modern, but also both. It makes me feel like I can smell the game. It smells like old library carpets or damp office carpets in 1970s council buildings. It's a huge amount of traffic, with entire buildings visible from 100 yards away.

The sound design. The sound design, sweet merciful cripes! To start the engine, I had to pull up the action selection screen using one of the buttons on the face. Then, hold A to activate the engine. It sounded almost like someone had recorded the engine and compressed it as much as possible before running the file from the USB drive. Similar could be said for the horn sound effect. It sounded more like a cat being dropped over my back fence rather than a bus horn.

After completing the tutorial, I decided to jump headfirst into Career mode. I began with a small amount of currency that was not very descriptive to purchase a bus. Next, I had the option of choosing between two locations to start my bus driving adventures: Cologne in Germany, or Serpukhov in Russia. I chose Cologne, the bus that I could afford, and I was so excited to get started. However, I couldn't find the button to start the game.

I could have looked at the stats and changed the environmental conditions, but that was it. I tried to go back and see if it was the wrong choice. It was not the case. "Ah, maybe I need to start in Russia, and I'll unlock Germany", thought I, thinking that I had solved the case. The screen appeared again after I chose the Russian location and selected my bus. It turns out that the bottom right has a prompt to hold ZR for a few seconds to allow all things to start. I'm sorry Mr Simulator, but that prompt was not intuitive.

After wading through the terrible menu, I was finally given the game. It looks terrible, really awful. Even with the upgraded graphics of the PC version, the game does not run well. The framerate often chugs more than the aunt at the wedding open bars. Low-resolution textures make the whole game look like it has a translucent cling film covering everything.

This game has such poor visuals, surely the Switch should be capable of running it. It doesn't, and I'll blame the poor optimization by the developer. The NPC animations were a source of unintended laughter from the beginning. Many looked like they had a large load of stuff in their britches, and tried to conceal it. You could also be carrying the same load but only showing off your stuff so everyone can see it. These animations often led the NPC's and the bus to cut through one another. This was my favorite aspect of the entire venture.

It handles like a bus, so it has that going. It can take some time to become familiar with the controls of the bus. Buses have a large turning circle, but they can oversteer easily if you aren't paying attention. Either you don't turn sharply enough to avoid collisions with vehicles in the next lane, or you oversteer and end up colliding with a lamppost. You'll be penalized in both cases.

Although I have never driven a bus, it is something that I am not familiar with. This one I'll give developers the benefit-of-the doubt and hope it is a true portrayal. Even if the portrayal was correct, it doesn't make this any less fun or interesting. Every route is the same.

Start at the bus station, and then drive your bus along the route, stopping at designated stops and making money from fares. Although this is a good representation of the job it is just too boring. "Oh Taylor, Taylor, it's just a simulator, so an accurate portrayion of the job is what the player desires." You are correct. You are absolutely correct. However, Euro Truck Simulator as well as American Truck Simulator provide a realistic simulation of truck driving. It's also fun because there's an actual goal or aim.

You can earn money in the Truck Sims to hire drivers, purchase trucks, customise them, buy trucks for your fleet and even buy trucks for yourself. This is not possible in Bus driver simulator. Most people enjoy the process of buying buses and changing their colours. You can still explore the map using the free roam mode. But why would you want to? There is nothing to see on the map, as it is populated with the same blocksy buildings. The free roam mode is only there to drain your fuel and buy more of the non-descript currency.

If someone is looking for a bus driver simulation, they should look at the ones available on the PC. If they are desperate to have that simulator experience on the move, no one will use the Switch.

Take that in mind, the price for the Nintendo eShop is PS24.99. This is a huge amount for the product and its performance. It's shocking, I know.