God I Wish I Were a Sim

Sims. The game created by EA to allow us to control human beings without being scolded, told we are too controlling, having psychological problems, or feeling any guilt whatsoever. We can tell them when to go away (in which I wish I could do to real life humans as they are pains-in-the-arse). We can tell them we to pee! I mean, imagine this: "Mother, I order you to urinate. No, I do not care that you are eating or working. You will stop that right this instant, and head to the loo and pee." She gets up and does exactly what you say, talking to herself and strolling happily, even though I ruined her work, causing her to get fired, or letting her food go cold. Oh no, they do not care, these simulated humans. They do what you say. God, I wish Sims were real.

Motherlode! The cheat that caught everyone's attention and is players' addictions. I, myself, prefer not to cheat for it ruins the reality and fun of the game. But with the simple Control + Shift+ C, typing motherlode frantically, you receive thousands of Simoleons, the money currency. This is one factor I wish were real! I would love to just look at my bank account and voila! R 50,000! Boy would I be happy and less depressed!

Although I hate cheating, I would loooovvee to just click on my mailbox, select the man I have always been in love with, and make us married! He then will adore me, buy me flowers, kiss me, and we would make beautiful love and give birth to a gorgeous son and daughter, fulfilling my dream to be a mother. But no, instead I flirt, ask out, and support him, and he still dates other girls, and disappointingly, speaks of our fantastic friendship. Friendzoned 100 percent. Screw you, men!

In Sims, you can eat all you like and never get fat! (Although there is a setting you can edit to make your Sim gain weight, but of course in real life, we would never do that!) Hamburgers, cola, pizza, no exercise, and I can look in the mirror, morph my body 'til I have abs, a perfect figure, and change my horrible trait of not having a filter when I speak, to being athletic and artistic. God, I wish I was a Sim!

Let's not forget the fantastic ability to gain skills in a matter of hours! I could paint a stupid picture, sell it, and suddenly, I'm Picasso! I could play piano, make time fly by, and I'm Mozart. I could ask my neighbour how her day was, and suddenly, we are best friends. God, I wish I were a Sim!

I wish I could go to the mirror and just change my hair colour to pink, raise my cheekbones, get rid of my horrible pointy jaw, and give myself a great nose! Sims can do this, we cannot. #lifesucks #wearenotsims #facefacts

Now for the grand finale, I can delete people. God, sometimes I wish I could do that. Oh gosh, my gran is annoying, let's just... plop! There, she's gone. Phew. Now I can relax.

Ahh! My baby is ugly! Time to give it up for adoption and never see the little shit again! Byeeeee!!!

Dag Dag (Simlish for goodbye), viewers and fellow bloggers.

If you cannot tell, I am a huge gaming nerd, especially ones where I can control others, change my physique, become rich, and remove annoying people! So, let me know your favourite Sim's moments, things you wish were in real life, your favourite and the funniest Simlish words, and any comments of advice, remarks or friendly "I love you, you're the best, be mine, here's a million dollars" statements!

I am new and this is my first story, so please advise me on what I'm doing wrong and how I can improve.

Goodnight and goodbye for now.

Some Simlish Words

Nooboo - Baby

Sulsul - Hello

Dag Dag - Goodbye

Checkmate - Checkmar

This is cool! - Whippna Choba Dog!

I think you are hot - Za Woka Genava

Dog - Woofum