Death Hand

People pick games of chance every day. Just waking up in the morning can be a gamble. A wheel of life spins for all of us and we hope that each spin lands on fortune.

Josie had been playing five-card draw on the slot machines at the local grocery store for several years. She would play “Jokers are Wild” five-card poker, one of the games offered on the machines. Though fun at first, she never won and became despondent. Josie played the game without perception. She stared aimlessly at the cards on the screen, mindlessly tapping the deal key. The machine only provided the cards needed to win a few dollars to keep playing the game. Ten, Jack, King, Ace of hearts and a queen of diamonds, a straight. If she threw the diamond there was a chance for the maximum win, the never giving “Royal Flush”. A faint light ascended in her dead blue eyes. She had a glimpse of hope that the this was it; her luck was finally going to transform. Anticipating the “Queen of Hearts”, Josie cautiously pressed her cold finger against the deal key, “Ace of Spades” the death card. Once again, the indistinct spark in Josie’s eyes left her innermost hope in a dead hand.

One day Josie walked into a casino, passed the slots, and headed to the poker room to play five-card draw with real cards. Warmth spread inside her as she sipped a Jameson’s whiskey on the rocks. The green felt spread out before her was soft, smooth, and sensual, the cards slick and crisp. She beheld what the dealer had given her and gazed at the other players. She placed her bet and won the hand. She couldn’t lose! Every time she played; her winnings were more than ever before. She felt fulfilled. She had finally found her game. It gave her back so much more than she had ever bet in life before. She kept track of her winnings in her little black note book. Euphoria enveloped her like the bright multi-colored lights of the casino. The air around her was warm, inviting, almost sheltering. Life was good.

Then on a cold winter day, Josie went into the poker room and found that games had changed. The casino no longer offered five-card draw, the game was now “Texas Hold’em”. She bet, played, bet, and played, trying to bring back that secure feeling of good luck. The clink of ice in her drink, gave her chills. The air had the odor of smoke and spilled liquor. Her game was dead, cold, gone. For years she played five-card draw and gained confidence in herself. Now she bet everything, lost everything on a game that was not hers. The light in her heart dissipated and returned to darkness. It was hard to breathe in the suddenly harsh surroundings. The casino lights lost their color and seemed to dim. She shuffled home in the dark, haunted shadows following. For days she sat in a chair, feeling alone, her mind fraught with questions. She became infuriated at everyone; how could anyone be happy when she was so miserable? It was all gone, her future a blank page.

Josie felt as though she had landed on a hard rock full of deep crevices. She did not understand why this had happened and obstacles loomed large in front of her. The fear of what the future would unfold was overwhelming. The game was the most important part of Josie’s life and it had been taken away unexpectedly. The wheel of life had once again dealt Josie the hand of death and she would have to deal with it.

JT 2013