My regular readers may have noticed a missing round-up last week. No, I wasn’t being lazy; it’s just that there was practically nothing good to be found out of the ~35 games released on the Nintendo Switch eShop. There were 2 notable mentions in ASTRONEER and Demoniaca: Everlasting Night, but they didn’t quite make the cut. I won’t stop you from buying them, though!
But this week was surely better, right? I mean, we have a round-up post for starters! However, you would not believe the absolute garbage, tripe, twaddle, and trash that graced the eShop. There were 73 games released! Unfortunately, most of them look and sound like they were created by single-cell organisms! Just listen to some of these titles:
- Alien Destroyer;
- Attack on Beetle;
- Sports Car Driver;
- Survive on Raft; and the crème de la crème
- Cop Car Police Simulator Chase
Honestly, I would not mind if you stopped reading this article right now and watched the Star and Shovelware review of the last one instead. But if you’re keen to find out which of the new releases had the same chance of being added to my Best Of Switch indies list as unvaccinated people have of being hospitalised with COVID, be my guest!
Blackwind
Released: 20 January 2022
Price: AU$29.99 / US$24.99 / GB£19.99
Genre: Action / Adventure / Arcade / Shooter
Developer: Drakkar Dev
Publisher: Blowfish Studios
Blackwind is a top-down sci-fi action game that puts you in the shoes of a teenager trapped inside a prototype battle armour suit during an alien invasion. Face off against enemies, cut through their ranks, and fight back in a last-ditch attempt to stop the attack.
Why this excites me
With a cheesy story suitable for a Sci-Fi Channel late-night time slot and third-person action which harks back to the PS1 era of Future Cop: LAPD mixed with Legacy Of Kain: Soul Reaver, Blackwind is like a guilty pleasure action movie: more plot holes than a slice of Swiss cheese, not going to win any awards, but still a good, fun romp regardless.
Jack ’n’ Hat
Released: 22 January 2022
Price: AU$11.99 / US$7.99 / GB£7.99 + 13% additional launch discount
Genre: Action / Adventure / Platformer
Developer: Cross Game Studio
Publisher: 2Awesome Studio
Prepare for an exhilarating platformer adventure across the world of Ririland! The evil Dr Voo Doom has abducted Princess Riri, instigating a civil war that has plunged the kingdom into chaos.
It’s up to repairman extraordinaire Jack with his boomerang hat to save the princess and put an end to Dr Voo Doom’s plans for world domination!
Why this excites me
Here’s a game that wears its influences on its sleeves. With a chunky, 90s pixel art aesthetic, a male tradie, a kidnapped princess, a boomerang hat (cough Cappy cough) and tight platforming action across a variety of colourful worlds, Jack ’n’ Hat looks like a stunning homage to the greatest old school platformers.
And if you’re a soft, I mean, modern gamer, you can also choose to have infinite lives! I’ll allow it. Just never tell me that you completed a retro game using a rewind feature, capiche?
Pixel Game Maker Series THUNDER STRIKER
Released: 21 January 2022
Price: AU$15.45 / US$11.99 / GB£9.29
Genre: Arcade / Shooter / Shmup
Developer: Gotcha Gotcha Games
Publisher: Gotcha Gotcha Games
The mouthful of a title, Pixel Game Maker Series THUNDER STRIKER, is a vertical scrolling shooter with a retro flavour and the fourth instalment in the fictional “GAME BUDDY” portable game series created with Pixel Game Maker MV.
Why this excites me
The fact that a drag-and-drop development environment has been used to create an authentic, Game Boy-like shoot ’em up blows my mind.
Unlike most new combo-complex, sensory overload, bullet hell shmups, THUNDER STRIKE reminds me of the classics I used to play growing up: Slap Fight, Xenon and Xevious.
It’s just a good, old-fashioned, back-to-basics, dual weapon, pattern learning shooter. Please and thank you.
Anyway, I really hope Nintendo starts to gatekeep the quality of games that land on their console because, honestly, I don’t have the time nor energy to sift through 70 titles of shit again! Fingers crossed, next week is better! 🤞
Read the previous round-up
About the Creator
stowball
I design: digital, craft, board games.
I write: code, fiction, reviews.
I play: games, guitar, football.
See my: complete Best Of Switch indies list
Say hi: twitter.com/stowball
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