What's The Ultimate Weapon In A Horror Movie

The answer might surprise you.

Consider every horror movie you've ever watched, and ask yourself: what would you do in those situations if you were there? Granted, some of them are pretty far out. But it takes imagination to beat back the unthinkable and horrifying. And as writers, that's part of the process.

Horror movies have their main stars, but the real stars of the movies are the things that cause your hair to stand up, give you chills, cause you to tense, and at times, jump out of your seats. And while it's fun to get scared, sometimes, the victims of these horrific beasts and monsters get slaughtered before your very eyes.

Probably every person has watched a horror movie and thought, here we go again. There is always the question of why they don't do this, or why they don't do that. The short answer is that horror movies don't use victims who are prepared, ready, and going to fight.

What fun would it be to watch Jason Voorhees chasing after a Navy SEAL? The topless, half-inebriated, big-breasted girls, or dumb jocks, were always more fun to see get terrorized. Hollywood even sent one of the world's greatest monster hunters at Jason, when they set Jared Padalecki to Camp Crystal Lake, and there was a big-boobed blonde, a terrified jock, some other young and dumb early twenty-somethings, and good ole Jason that made it fun.

What could they have used?

Then there are some of the classics of horror!

Imagine being in a situation where aliens come to Earth. Have you seen Alien: Earth on FX and Hulu? The famed Xenomorphs (aliens) from the Alien series have made it to Earth. Those slimy-looking, loud, ferocious little suckers are running amok through the galaxy. You gotta love them.

But minus Sigourney Weaver and some serious weaponry, what could you use to take on, escape from, or destroy a Xenomorph?

One of the most famed monsters in history is the Vampire. With legends rooted in the real world, and references to the practice of Vampirism found in ancient writings dating back to the Sumerians, vampires have held our interest and fears for generations. From the point of Bram Stoker's Dracula, John Carpenter's Vampires, the works of Anne Rice, and even the Twilight Series, they've been a part of the youth and imaginations of millions.

How would you prepare for vampires? What weapons would you use? Do you have them readily available?

As more and more asteroids and meteors approach the Earth, what about the possibility of a real extraterrestrial encounter? Remember the thing? An alien craft crashes in the Antarctic, and an alien corpse is found. It comes back to life and has the ability to take on human form.

Imagine an alien contagion turning humans exposed to it into some hideous creature. This could come from a meteorite striking Earth, and the contagion escaping from within. What would you do in the face of a horde of infected?

There are so many remote possible scenarios. And that doesn't include the real monsters, the ones that might be out there looking at you in your sleep, or as you go to work, or meandering about, living your life. Those are the predators, the serial killers, the human traffickers, the armed assailants waiting to strike.

Real-world monsters exist, and the solution, the easiest fix, can be applied to an encounter with them as well as the undreamt of and the fictional monsters.

And it's something you can put together, keep at home, ready and able to use at a moment's notice. It's cheap and easy, and will give you a chance to get away and survive.

Supersoakers to the rescue! A cup of bleach and some blessed water, and you've got the ultimate weapon. Don't have time to get some holy water? Add a little soap and aim for the eyes. The burning sensation in the eyes will slow down your assailant, even a home invader, and allow you to escape.

Loading a super soaker with holy water and bleach makes you ready to tackle the undead, zombies, aliens, shapeshifters, and the dangers in your imagination. As the monsters come out to play, you don't have to stay inside. Load up, have them ready, and have fun, even if you live in vampire land.

And remember, bleach is caustic, holy water works on the demonic, and it takes a working set of eyes to get you.