Once you have read this you can't un-see it

I apologise in advance if you are a fan of the movies, and I am downright killing your movie going experience in one hit. But I have to bring this to everyone else's attention, and not just rant to my husband with every movie we watch lately. I need to probably give some examples here, which obviously I am going to struggle to remember, so may have to dash off, and head to my recent views on Netflix and Prime.

Oh, I thought of one—‘Hostage house,’ main character and one of the baddies are ok actors. There is a lot of weird holding each others biceps for a couple of beats too long, which is strange. The girl baddie, is so bad, she is bordering on me questioning if the film is a comedy. Anyway, I digress. The point is the film starts with the daughter of the Realtor, trying to draw attention from a passing police car, from behind a fence. Calling out for help. Attracting the attention of those who are chasing her through the open air, as aposed to the police car, with blazing sirens, behind glass and steel travelling at 60 miles per hour.

She can be forgiven, the girl is desperate, trapped locked and fearing for the life of herself and her mother. Queue scene jump, yes massive scene jump to them in their home. All that is missing is a subtitle of ‘earlier that day.’ What’s my problem I hear you say. We then sit through thirty minutes of dull story and scene building as the screenwriter tries desperately to get us to give two hoots about what is about to happen to the characters of this film.

A clear cut case of had the first scene not been in it you would have stopped watching, someone somewhere is telling screenwriters it doesn’t matter how dull your story is, pop the end at the start and the people are so desperate for something to watch they will lap it up. Well not me, I’m sick of it. I’m not apposed to this technique, I use it myself and it is common in writing but please, for the love of all that is holy give us decent characters. I am all about character led films and books.

Creating characters that people care about is tough, it is a big ask but invest the time and energy into it and we will love you, and them, forever. It’s the characters that make us want to revisit old classics that we’ve watched a thousand times and those feel good movies.

Examples, you want examples. Okay, Kevin—‘Home Alone,” let’s start with an easy one. It’s one the majority of people will have on their Christmas movie watch list and watch year on year. Why? We don’t tune in to find out if the mum remembers to take all the kids this year. We do it because Kevin is adorable, resourceful and funny. Don’t even get me started on Merve. Not to mention the guy down the street with the snow shovel and how he melts our heart every time because we always forget that little back character and his family feud with his son.

You want another, alright. One of my go to movies, which I am often surprised when people say they haven’t seen. ‘Couples Retreat,’ starring Vince Vaughan. My husband and I can actually pretty much quote lines of this film at any opportunity we have watched it so many times. Everytime one of us quote something from the film we both say, “love that film.” Which in turn plants the seed and we’ll end up watching it again in a few days.

The characters are a group of friends all funny in their own way, the people at the resort, also great characters with their own quirks. Not to mention the kids and Grandpa Jim Jim. We don’t watch because we want to see if he survives the 'shark attack,' and I use that phrase loosely. If you’ve seen it you’ll know. We watch, for the feel good factor the characters give us.

So these two examples, what do they have in common. Well for one there is no extreme scene jump and explosive action packed scene at the start. Secondly they build the characters lovingly, weaving them throughout the scenes of the film and this is what makes us love them.

This has come across a lot more ranty than I intended, however, I do feel a lot better for getting this off my chest. I hope some people will resonate and for those who I’ve ruined the movies for, again, I am sorry.