'Molleydooker' Day, August 13

Lefty, Molleydooker, Cack-handed, I have heard them all. I should be saying I am left-handed and proud of it. The reality is, I am not. I have put up with it for seventy years. It is a bit like the hound dog that sits on the thorn. Just too darn lazy to move.

I started school in the era where it was taboo to write with your left hand. One particular teacher took it upon himself to try and beat it out of me (it was a private boys’ school). He would sneak up behind me and rap me on the knuckles with a ruler. All he would say was, “Cack-handers write with their left; are you a cack-hander, London?"

I would reply, "No, Sir." Another wrap on the knuckles, “Then write with your right hand, boy!”

When I did, it looked like an epileptic beetle had crawled across the page. He didn't like either saying, “I can’t read your writing; do it again.”

Her left suddenly halfway through the second term I had him. Probably got mugged by a group of delinquent cack-handers!

It didn’t last, and I went back to my left hand. I have become so left-hand dominant that I joke my right hand is only there to make me look normal.

Who would have thought that there would be a day that celebrates left-handed people? August 12 is the day of global tribute to the uniqueness of being left-handed. Wow!

Left-handed people make up roughly 10% of the global population. Personally, I have found it to be very annoying. The simplest tasks can be a nightmare for a left-handed person. The number of times I have burned myself with the iron because it is all back to front.

Ninety per cent of the world is built for right-handers. Smudged ink while writing. Awkward school desks with right-sided arms. That was a real problem for me at uni. Frustrating tools like scissors and can openers that you have to use upside down. Even spiral notebooks go the wrong way.

Many brilliant people were left-handed. This includes Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, and Nikola Tesla. Several past US presidents have been left-handed, including Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. Seven of the last fifteen US presidents have been left-handed. Thank goodness Donald Trump is not one of them!

Former UK Prime Minister David Cameron is left-handed. The same goes for the famous wartime leader, Winston Churchill. Even the future king of the United Kingdom, Prince William, is left-handed.

Many celebrities are left-handed. Oprah Winfrey, Sir Paul McCartney, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lawrence, and Justin Bieber are just a few examples. 

I can relate to Bieber (now there is a horrible thought!) because he started playing with his guitar upside down. When I first learned to play guitar, I did the same thing. Like him, it was a disaster, so I changed to playing right-handed. It is one of the very few things I do right-handed and not very well at best.

In many parts of the world, the left hand is considered unclean or rude to use. If you're left-handed and traveling to India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Nepal, or the Middle East, don’t use your left hand for eating or passing things. It's seen as rude.

Even language proves that left-handers get a bad rap. In French, "gauche" can mean "left" or "clumsy." In English, the word "left" comes from the Anglo-Saxon word "lyft," meaning "weak." "Right" also means "to be right."

In many cultures, being left-handed is seen as bad. This view has been around for a long time! Left-handed people have long been seen as unlucky or even evil. The word "sinister" comes from the Latin word for left. In 19th-century Europe, homosexuals were referred to as "left-handed."

Humans are one of the few animals to show a preference between the left and right hands. Even our closest cousins, the apes, show a 50-50 split when it comes to which hand, foot, or paw they use the most.

Studies have shown that 90% of parrots use their left foot to pick things up. Kangaroos surprisingly prefer their left paw for grooming and eating. Finally, a connection: we are both Australian. No, hang on, I was born in England, and I am a naturalised Australian.

I'll celebrate August 12 with a glass of wine (any excuse!). Even though I’m left-handed, I’ll drink it with my right hand. That’s my way of defying the norm.

We lefties are a strange bunch. We tend to have faster connections between brain hemispheres, which can boost multitasking. Some say we have a slight advantage in sports because the opponent doesn’t expect it. On the downside, studies show we are more likely to get schizophrenia, heart disease, and some cancers.

A stronger link also exists between mood changes, anxiety, irritability, restlessness, and neuroticism.

So I now have an excuse for who I am. What about all of you right-handed people out there? What is your excuse? 😉😉

Submitted to MikeyDred's August challenge:

Till next time,

Calvin