Why Me?

The beginning of my long ardious journey to now..

Hello ..

Not sure where to start. So I guess I’ll start my diary at my earliest memory.

What’s following is simply a way to get some of these things off of my mind. I’ve had experiences locked up inside for many, many years. I’ve tried everything to ignore it, explain it, and justify it but to no avail. The more I try the more I dig up moire questions. So I finally just figured that if I put it on paper then it might…just might, if not give me answers to all of these questions..that it would give me some type of peace.

This simply meant for my own release…and nothing will be embellished. Just things, people and place from my encounters and dreams. There will be a lot that is somewhat scattered. But the reason why will be unveiled in time.

My earliest memories of the start..

It all began when I was around 6 in the mid 70’s. I was a normal kid, loved playing outdoors, sports, with action figures and such. Back in the 70’s life was much different than it was today. We didn’t have the influence of cable tv, the internet etc.. If you wanted to know something you either reached for a encyclopedia or went to your local library. And my household was a strong Christian household. My parents were better than I could have ever asked for.They were both very loving, and VERY hardworking. We weren’t rich by any means. But had no idea. We always had everything we needed and we were very much content with life. My parent were strict though, they had rules as every household does. And us kids were expected to abide by them. If we chose not too, then there were consequences. Nothing severe, just the occasional spanking or being punished to our room. Which by the way, back then that was a punishment. We didn’t have a iPad to go jump on, or a PS4 etc.. It was us and books…toys were off limits when we were punished.

With that being said..we NEVER saw a scary movie, my Dad called them ‘Hairy hands’. Like the hairy hands that always grabbed you? I guess Ha Ha.

So as far as I know with the exception of stories that elementary school kids told. We never had any reference. Maybe the occasional bad guy in a comic book or something like that but nothing major.

When I was about 6, I was a typical kid. Loved the daylight hours, HATED the dark. Now I know this will sounds silly but when I went to bed I was there! No getting up for me. I wasn’t ABOUT to let my feet hit the ground while it was dark. I even had my own regiment EVERY night, after Mom would tuck me into bed. I would then go full body under the covers. Just my head sticking out. I would put my arms to my side and grab the sheets from underneath and wedge them under my body. By the time I was done I looked like a full fledged Mummy. afterwards I would wiggle my head in between 2 pillows. i then had just a small portion of my face left out. What a weenie huh? Ha Ha I would wake up in the same position. I tried my best not to move during the night.

That kind of sort of brings me to my first encounter. Now because I was so young, to this day I have NO clue whether I dreamed this or if it really happened. But knowing how I was back then has always led me to believe it happened. It was too far out of my element. Our house sat on 1 acre of land. We had the biggest lot in my neighborhood. Our back yard was huge. Lots of area to play and run around.

Back to my experience..well like I said, it was very late at night. The house was quiet and everyone had been sleeping for quite awhile.I woke up to this bright light. It was peeking through the metal blinds in my window. it was so bright that it should have lit up the neighborhood. But yet it didn’t. Weird.

My first thought was maybe Dad was outside for some reason. We had problems with possums coming into our yard and fooling with the puppies from time to time. So Dad would have to get up and scare them off. So I got out of bed and walked to my Raggedy Ann and Andy toy chest which sat at the base of my window sill. I clambered to climb on top of it. Stood up and peeked through my blind. My Dad wasn’t out there.

To be continued.......