There's Plenty of Fish in the Sea

I identify as an Aquarius. Am I an Aquarius? No. Technically, I'm a Pisces, but that has never felt quite right.

Astrology has always been a subject that I was medium interested in. I think we all like to look at things like star signs and personality tests and see how the results do or do not fit our perceptions of ourselves. The fun of it is that there is usually something there that we can see in ourselves, and I think that’s the reason I have always felt so disconnected from astrology. I never sat down and read anything about a Pisces and thought ‘wow, that’s so true’ or ‘that applies to me’, which essentially, took all the fun out of it.

Despite this I would never say it’s a topic I have no interest in, hence ‘medium interest’. It’s a subject that I often find myself coming back to, to try and work out why it doesn’t fit.

By some magical misfortune, my friends and I were all born within two months of each other, which means we are all either a Pisces or an Aquarius. This is unfortunate for a few reasons, first and foremost it means we are all either aggressively similar or polarising different, which does not always make for smooth sailing. And secondly, because it has resulted in what we call ‘birthday month’, which means all our fun birthday events are squished into the start of the year, and we are collectively broke by the time March is wrapping up.

Because of this situation, I am very familiar with both these star signs (and these star signs only) and have always felt that I might be categorising myself as the wrong one of the two.

Among my Pisces friends, we have what I like to call the ‘true Pisces’. They are the type of people who you meet and you don’t really need to get to know them all that well before you’ve got them accurately pegged. They are everything a Pisces ought to be. They are compassionate, artistic, gentle and intuitive, emotional, overly trusting and prone to sadness or victimhood. These are all things most of us have come to associate with the star sign, and the good and bad shine through in these people. They love alone time and sleeping, romance, spiritual themes and dislike know-it-all’, being criticized and causing harm.

Pisces are beautiful people, they can be a handful and often make for high maintenance friends as they require a lot of emotional support, but in most cases, they make up for it by being incredibly generous and kind people who add a bit of whimsy to your life, and remind you that normal, everyday stuff can be beautiful. I love Pisces, but I am not one.

Then we have our ‘true Aquarius’ friends, I will admit my little friendship gang has fewer of these than your classic Pisces, but the few we have are easily identifiable none the less. These people are progressive, independent, temperamental, uncompromising and run from emotional expression. They all love helping others and stimulating conversation and get very peeved about limitations, broken promises, dull or boring situations and people who disagree with them.

I also love Aquarius’s; they are interesting and eccentric and, to be perfectly honest, they are the only reason anything ever gets done amongst my friends (the Pisces are great ideas people, but you need that Aquarius follow through if you want plans to become a reality).

Then we have a few floaters, which is where I come into the picture. These are people who don’t quite match, or fit, like the others do, into their attributed star sign. And believe me when I say we have had a lot of discussions around this. I have one friend who is particularly into this type of thing, who has pointed out a few possible reasons for the disconnect.

The first thing that always comes up the idea of being born on the ‘cusp’ of a star sign. Which I guess has merit, but am I really? I am born a whole five days into Pisces season, which I guess is only, what, about a sixth of the way in, but that feels substantial enough to undermine the ‘cusp’ theory.

The second thing that always comes up is that star signs are a lot more complicated than just your overarching sign. You have things like your rising sign, your moon sign, etc. So this is something I have also looked into, obviously. I did the whole thing, which meant sending my mum a very out of the blue text in the middle of a weekday to ask what time I was born. She was understandably confused but did know the answer off the top of her head, so props to you, mum. I guess you don’t forget what time it was when you created a human life, but still, you’d be pretty knackered by that point so congratulations all the same. This didn’t really help though. My full chart was equally as wrong. There were a few bit and pieces in there that I could see in myself, but for the most part, it said I should be an optimistic, emotional romantic.

I think that’s the biggest issue I have always had with my allocated star sign, the emotionality of it. The things that seem so reign supreme in the world of the Pieces are romance and sentimentality. These are not attributes of mine. I feel very uncomfortable discussing myself, and my feelings with everyone other than a few select, vetted, close friends. I am prone to underselling situations in a way that can sometimes end detrimentally because I did the opposite of be dramatic, and people don’t realise how serious things actually are. And nothing turns me off a relationship or date quicker than romantic confessions or a gesture that isn’t backed up by something more tangible.

In a lot of ways, I wish I were more like a Pisces. I am often envious of the freedom of expression they seem to experience. Maybe if there were a subcategory for emotionally unavailable Pisces I could slot in there somewhere (although that’s a contradiction, if I’ve ever seen one). But that doesn’t exist, so for now, I’ll just say I identify as an Aquarius.