The Winter Court

I

Adelaide... Adelaide, the wind called out to me.

I wandered through the bare trees, my light step crunching against the day old snow. I couldn't focus on anything; everything was white with sameness. I reached my hand out lazily to guide me, but only snow greeted my fingertips. The tail of my dress trailed behind me, the heaviness of my skirts nearly erasing my tracks. There was a whisper on the wind, coaxing me further into the trees.

Adelaide... Adelaide, the wind called once more. Come to me, Adelaide.

My mind was empty but for the whispers in the air... until I heard the laughter. Sinister and shrill, it was foreboding but could not break me from my reverie. The way the wind murmured my name… I was intoxicated with delight. Were it not for the spell cast upon me, I am positive now that I would have turned back immediately. As it were, however, the only thing I knew at the time was that it was of utmost importance that I find whoever was calling my name.

Adelaide... Adelaide...

My next step did not bring the familiar crunch of snow. Instead it generated the echoing thump of boot against... marble? No longer surrounded by the forest, my trance was broken at the shock of my new environment. I was transported into a magical place, as if I had passed through a doorway. I found myself in a grand hall, complete with marble flooring and intricately sewn tapestries. I was encircled by a collection of unsightly brown troll-like creatures with crooked teeth, blue sea-like creatures with expressionless - I assumed - faces, and tiny winged people that seemed to glow.

I turned on my heel and broke into a run, but the forest was no longer behind me. Instead, I stumbled into a grand foyer, looking around wildly. Before me rose a marble staircase with wooden banisters elaborately carved with winter hunting scenes and stone gargoyles guarding the bottom. Descending the staircase was a man - or, at least, a creature who almost resembled a man - dressed in lush, white furs. From where I stood, I could see vague brown markings about his snow white face and his dark hair rising in spikes above the brown, thorny crown about his head.

"Adelaide," he called gently, his voice mesmerising. I knew at once that it was he who called me here. "It is considered rude to leave a party before the host has arrived." As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he looked me over, from head to toe, and continued, "You are not properly dressed for a celebration such as this. Go along with your ladies in waiting and they will prepare you."

As soon as the words were spoken, my hands were grasped by two of the naked, troll-like creatures - that in no way resembled ladies - on either side and I let out a small scream. I was pulled past the strange, furry individual of a man and up the stairs, all the while trying to free myself from their tiny, stiff hands. His eyes were sharp and icy blue, like those of a wolf. The smile on his face was a snarl as we passed, exposing sharp teeth, but he did not turn. Instead, he continued into the great hall with poise, where the crowd of wretched creatures cleared a path.

II

I was taken to a room upstairs, but I could not give more detail than that. I was forced through a maze of corridors that all seemed to look the same. We first went right, then left, then left again, then right and I lost track. All the walls were decorated with portraits of similar looking beings to the ones downstairs. Some as tiny, brown and troll-like as the ladies who grasped my hands, some others as human-like as the man who called me here. Some were thin and blue, while others seemed to glow with thin wings attached to their shoulders.

The winged creatures were pixies.

I suddenly knew where I was: the world of the Faeries.

My heart began to race and my palms began to sweat. I pulled frantically at my hands and dug my heels into the rug. Finally, I pulled free. I turned on my heel and ran. I first went left, then right, then left again and stopped short at a dead end, coming face to face with a portrait of an ethereal being with light brown skin and antlers protruding from the top of her head. I turned quickly, but my heart jumped into my throat at the sight of the ladies in waiting.

"You must not run," said the one on the right, her voice high pitched, like a mouse.

"You must not run," the other repeated, her voice just as shrill.

With only a moment of consideration, I decided to try to bolt passed them. After all, they were small and I was large. Surely, I could knock them down and escape. I pushed off strong, confident that I could shove passed them, but the second I was near enough, their hands clasped my wrists and I was stuck. I was neither fast nor strong enough.

"You must not run," they repeated together. A chill ran down my spine.

Despite my struggles, they were able to pull me to the awaiting room with amazing force. They pushed me inside, entered behind me and locked the door. I took the moment to look around, determining that there were no escape routes besides the locked door. The room had no windows, only a fireplace filled with roaring flames. There was a large feather bed that dominated the room, complete with extravagantly embroidered throw pillows - winter hunting scenes, of course - and a thick down comforter. Bookshelves filled with volumes old and new lined the walls and a writing desk equipped with parchment, ink and quills sat against the wall opposite the fireplace.

Were it not a prison, this would be the bedroom of my dreams.

"Where am I?" I finally asked, my voice hoarse and low.

"Unseelie Court," said one.

"Winter Court," replied the other.

The words echoed forebodingly in my mind as, moments later, I was presented with a long brown gown with gold embroidery detailing the skirts. I was immediately taken in by its beauty, overwhelmed with the urge to feel it on my body. I let the ladies remove my plain green dress as well as the bodice underneath. One of the ladies shook her head when she observed the damp and dirty tails.

"Unbecoming to wear dirty dress," she said.

"Not fit. Not fit," replied the other as she held out the new gown for me to step into.

Once the gown was on, I had to kneel down so that the ladies could lace the corset. They tied it tightly, but I welcomed the restriction. It was the support I needed to keep a level head. Clearly, I could not just bolt. I needed to observe my surroundings at this party and formulate an escape plan. Only then could I have hope.

Once the gown was laced, the ladies started to pin my hair up. When they were finished, I was presented with a mirror to approve the new look. Two long strands of hair were left loose in the front, but the back was pinned up so beautifully I almost began to cry. I gave them a nod and the mirror was gone. A small crown of twigs was placed on the top of my head before I rose to be inspected.

"Becoming," one said.

"Fit, fit," the other replied.

Adelaide... rang the whisper once more.

"It is time," the ladies sang together.

III

The noise from the great hall echoed as I descended the marble staircase in the grand foyer. The ladies no longer held onto my wrists, but walked just ahead as if they were my personal guard - they were certainly strong enough to be. I looked around quickly and located a set of large double doors that had to lead outside. The ladies escorted me into the great hall, where the noise ceased within an instant. The doors closed magically behind us, the loud bang reverberating throughout the room.

The wolf-man sat at a table raised higher than the others to show his authority. He was relaxed, lounging in his throne, his hands clasped neatly in his lap, and he was watching me with that snarl of a smile back on his face. Hundreds of pairs of yellow and white eyes were turned towards me. Another chill went down my spine.

"Adelaide," the wolf-man announced, his voice as deep and rich as honey, "Welcome." He gestured towards the empty seat beside him and noise erupted in the hall once more.

"Follow," the ladies said. I complied.

Once I was seated, I looked anywhere except the wolf-man. I looked at the individual tables, each nearly as long as the room itself, which hosted all manners of Fey. Some short and brown, some tall and blue. Others tiny as a thumb and still others human-sized, green and tree-like. Many had wings, but a surprising amount did not. None resembled the man sitting next to me. I looked for the exits, but only saw the one.

"Your chambers are sufficient, I trust?" the wolf-man asked. A plate of food was placed in front of me, including a giant turkey leg, potatoes and something green I did not want to touch.

“Who are you?” I asked in reply, my eyes fixed on the food I knew I would not eat.

“My name is Faelan. I am King of the Unseelie.”

"Am I to be held prisoner here?"

"No," was his short response, "However, it would be rude to decline an invitation you have already accepted."

"When -?"

"When you stepped through the veil, you accepted my summons. You did not have to come. I simply called. You made the decision to answer."

I turned to look directly at him. His eyes were piercing, his skin was almost glowing and the brown markings around his face shot upwards, diagonally, giving the impression of fur. He gave a smile just then, revealing once more his sharp fangs, but otherwise perfectly straight teeth. He was stunning, but frightening, this wolf-king of the Winter Court.

"Why am I here?" I finally asked. My voice was weak, shaken.

"Adelaide, isn't it obvious?" He gestured around at the tables in front of us, the hall growing silent as he did so. I looked out over the myriad of creatures, all staring up at me, then turned my attention back and shook my head, my eyes narrowing. "You are to become my Queen."

IV

After the feast, I was escorted back to my chambers by the ladies in waiting. Faelan stood at the bottom of the stairs, speaking with a few of his subjects and watching me as I walked away. The ladies no longer considered me a flight risk, so they did not touch me. I knew it would be foolish to attempt to escape now. They were stronger and faster; not to mention the castle was crawling with Fey. Tonight was not the night.

Once back in my chambers, the ladies helped me undress and presented me with a nightgown made of silk. I gladly took it and slipped it on over my head. One tended to the fire while the other readied my bed for the night. I took the opportunity to look over the books that lined the walls as I unpinned my hair. Most were leather-bound classics, hand scribed with graceful letters; some were newly bound with neatly typed script. I may have been a captive, but at least I was surrounded by beauty.

"May I inquire, what should I call you?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Erin, your highness," the one tending the fire replied.

"Terin, your grace," the other added. They bowed in unison.

"Sisters, I assume," I murmured. "I am Adelaide. Pleased to make your acquaintance." Curtseying neatly, I bid them to take their leave. They closed the heavy door behind them. I heard the click of the lock and the finality of it struck me. Nobody ever escaped the Faeries once captured. I was here forever.

V

The fire was starting to die down, but I was unable to sleep. The tears had long since ceased, leaving behind a nothingness. I stared at the darkening ceiling, a rock forming in the pit of my stomach. Dread, this rock was called. I was dreading tomorrow. I was dreading seeing Faelan's frightening face. I was dreading the rest of my life.

An idea forming, I closed my eyes and immersed myself in the silence of the room.

Please, I begged the silence, please let me wake from this terrible nightmare.

As if in answer, there was a light knocking at the door. I sat up with a start, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I looked around me quickly, but was disappointed to find that I was still in my prison. The fire was nearly out now, but I could see the faint outline of the door. The knock came again. Then again. Louder.

“Adelaide,” called Faelan's deep voice. The lock clicked and the door opened slowly, revealing the Faerie King's spiky head. “May I enter?”

I did not answer. Instead, I held my blankets up to my chin, staring, horrified at Faelan's pale face. His eyes were glowing like blue fire in the darkness. I pushed myself backwards until my body was pressed against the headboard, then cowered under the blankets. This was it, I told myself. I was going to die here and now.

“My queen, do not be frightened,” he coaxed, his voice soft. The door closed and I heard light footsteps coming towards me. He set something heavy down on the writing desk, then sat on the edge of the bed. Before I knew it, the blankets were pulled from my grip and I was exposed. He'd set down a lantern and his eyes were back to normal. “I am not going to hurt you.”

Tears sprung to my eyes as I hugged my waist and cried, “Why are you doing this to me?”

“I am doing nothing to you,” he replied. He reached out a hand and wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “You could be happy here. Instead, you are creating your own suffering.”

I jerked my face away from his cold hand. “I want to go home.”

“I'm sorry, my dear.” His voice was cold as he lifted his thumb to his mouth and licked my tear from his flesh. I cringed and looked away quickly. “That's not possible now.”

When I looked up, his eyes were glowing again and his lips were pursed. He reached out and grabbed my face with both of his hands. I struggled, pushed against him and tried to wrestle out of his grip, but to no avail. He was stronger than me by far. I was helpless as he leaned in. I was unable to turn away as his lips pressed against mine. I could not stop him as he forced my mouth open with his tongue and bit my lower lip.

When I was finally alone in my dark room, tears ran down my cheeks.

And blood ran down my chin.

VI

Erin and Terin entered the room at dawn. Erin tended the fire while Terin brought over a basin of water and started to clean the dried blood off of my face and neck. I sat still while she wiped, then did not flinch when she applied some sort of herbal salve over the cut below my lower lip. Once the fire was roaring once more, Erin went to fetch a fresh dress for the day while Terin helped me out of bed.

Today, I was dressed in a silk, royal blue gown with my brown hair cascading down my shoulders. Terin presented a mirror and I was shocked to see that the cut below my lip had completely disappeared. I looked the same as I had last night, but with dark circles under my eyes.

“Tired queen,” Erin commented.

“Must sleep tonight,” Terin warned.

A moment later, we were walking through the maze of corridors and found our way to the grand marble staircase once more. We descended slowly, so I would not lose my balance in my exhaustion. I was prepared to turn right to head into the great hall, but the ladies led me to the left. We stepped through a pair of double doors, which I had not previously seen, into a much smaller dining room. There was one long table down the length of the room filled with all the breakfast foods one could dream of.

The ladies led me to my seat at one end of the table and I fell into it happily. Without missing a beat, a plate full of food was placed in front of me and my stomach gave a growl. My mouth watered at the sight of bacon, sausage, eggs and jam. I wondered how long it had been since I'd last eaten. I looked over to the sisters, who stood off to the right. I wondered if I should wait for the wolf-king.

"Eat," Erin commanded.

"Eat," Terin repeated. I did not need to be told a third time.

I ate with exuberance, clearing my plate at a rate of speed I had not known I possessed.

Once I finished off my plate, another was set in front of me. I did not touch this one yet, however, as Faelan had entered the room. My heartbeat came faster. I was nearly sick to my stomach when I saw that he was covered in blood, presumably not his own. Several Fey ran up to him, one with a basin full of water, the others with wash cloths and rags. They washed his hands and his face before stripping his white apron from him. When they were done, he looked as good as new.

“Good morning, my queen,” he greeted as he took his seat. “I trust you slept well.”

I could only stare at him, my eyes wide with shock.

"Do not be alarmed," he finally said, "It's just another day as King. There's nothing like torture to work up an appetite. You'll find out soon enough."

I pushed my plate away and swallowed back tears. I looked up towards the head of the table and found that Faelan was watching me with amusement. A snarl of a smile was playing his lips, his hands were tucked under his chin and his icy eyes glinted off of the morning light. It was almost as though he looked at me with admiration, even love, but I knew this not to be true. If he loved me, he would not keep me against my will.

I heard myself ask, voice breaking, "Why did you choose me?"

"I beg your pardon?" His smile turned into a frown and his eyebrows knit together.

"Out of all the women in my world, why did you choose me to be your queen? Surely, there are more beautiful women for the taking. Surely, there are women more suitable to the task of being queen."

"My lady, I did not choose you," he replied, chuckling. He leaned back in his chair, that look of amusement back on his face.

It was my turn to be confused. "I do not understand."

"Adelaide, we have been betrothed since the day of your birth. You were destined to be my queen."

"How? I was never informed of our betrothal. Until yesterday, I was convinced that the Unseelie Court was myth. I still would be, if I was not present and accounted for."

Faelan took a deep breath. "Your father was a member of my court, but he fell in love with a human woman. This is not unusual, as you can imagine. The Unseelie are insatiable. We take the humans we like and bring them here. In time, they become Fey just like us. You've heard stories, I think."

I gave a nod as that sickness in my stomach started to grow.

"Your father did not want to bring your mother here. He decided to abandon my court and live in the human world. I bid him leave, but for a price. I would take his first born daughter as my wife on her 25th birthday." I took a deep breath as bile started to rise up at the thought. "By eating our food, your contract is sealed. Soon, we will wed. Until then, you will learn the ways of my Court."

"But my father left," I protested, "After I was born. I can only assume he came back to you. Would your devil's deal not end when he returned?"

"Foolish Addie," Faelan spat with a snarl, the glint in his eye turning sinister, "I could not stand for a member of my court abandoning his species to live the life of a mere mortal. Your father did not leave. I had him killed."

My heart caught in my throat. Overwhelmed with emotion, I could do nothing but stare. Twenty-five years of anger towards my father melted into terror of the wolf-man sitting in front of me. My father had been murdered for loving my mother. My beautiful, sweet, sad mother who, now, lost both the love of her life and her daughter to this wretched creature. The urge to cry pushed against my eyes.

Taking notice of the tears in my eyes, he stood up quickly, knocking his heavy chair to the ground, and slammed his hand on the table. I shrunk against the back of my chair, trembling in fear. "Bound by my law, you were mine the second you stepped into my world. It's best you remember that."

I could no longer stop the tears from falling as the wolf-king stormed out of the room.

VII

Tonight was the night.

After several never-ending days of following the ladies from one strange royal activity to the next, I felt as though I had enough knowledge of the castle to escape into the night. I was thoroughly certain of the route between my chambers and the door to the grounds. Once outside, I was positive that I could sneak away unnoticed. All I needed to do was seduce the Faerie King.

"This castle really is lovely," I mused while the ladies led me into the smaller dining room for dinner. Faelan, already present, stood as I entered. "I am absolutely delighted with every new nook and cranny discovered."

The ladies bowed low as they left the room.

"I see you have adjusted quite nicely," Faelan commented after he took his seat.

"Yes, I am just falling in love with this castle." As Faelan had not come to visit since my first night, I'd found it much easier to lay low and bide my time until I could formulate a plan. He flashed me a fanged smile and gestured for the servants to pour our wine.

"How were your lessons today?" he finally asked, drink in hand.

"Quite informative," I replied, a smile spreading across my lips. "How was your day, my king?"

"Busy," was his quick retort. "And vengeful." He leaned forward and gave me a wink. "The usual." I gave a wicked grin back. We were silent for a few moments as we ate before he added, "It is refreshing to see that you have accepted your fate here. Now you can be happy. The Unseelie are firm believers in pursuing our self-interests. There is no reason to be unhappy here when you can do whatever you please."

I leaned forward and batted my eyelashes. "Whatever I please?" I flirted. His eyebrows raised in surprise, but I could see the glint of lust in the ice.

"What did you have in mind, my lady?"

"We are to be wed, but we have not spent a night together," I commented. "I hardly think the Unseelie are the type to cherish their virtue."

"Go on."

"I propose we change this," I continued, a sly grin playing my lips. "I want to see what I've got myself into."

Faelan eyed me for a moment, amused, while he thought about my proposal. Finally, he responded, "Very well. I will come to your chambers tonight."

VIII

The fire began to die down and Faelan was snoring softly. I waved my hand in front of his face, but he did not stir. I rolled gently until my feet touched the floor and tiptoed towards the pile of clothes in front of the fireplace. I fished out my nightgown and slid it over my head before searching Faelan's effects. I found his ring of keys, let myself out as quietly as possible and locked the door behind me.

This was it. I was getting out. Finally, I could be free again. I could go home, sleep in my own bed, shower, watch TV. I could tell you one thing for certain: I was never going to work a Renaissance Faire ever again. Years on the circuit and I get abducted right out of my tent by the very creatures my jewelry booth promotes. Nobody even stopped me from wandering into the forest. Shows how attentive my so-called friends were. I was just happy I could finally drop the Medieval act. I may never look at Fantasy again.

When I reached the end of the hall, I felt a slight breeze and I was overtaken by the sudden urge to explore. I couldn't escape the feeling of curiosity. What could be behind all these unmarked doors? Faelan was locked in my room and, as far as I was aware, all of the live-in Fey were dead asleep. I could spare some time for exploration before I made my getaway.

I turned right instead of left and placed my ear against the first door I came to. I heard nothing, so I pushed the door open to see what was inside. Lining the walls were all sorts of erotic-torture devices. I saw whips, chains, rope, lashing sticks, knives, sex toys and handcuffs. There was even a table with leather straps attached to a simulated sex machine. I didn't recognize anything else that was in there, but I could only imagine they were designed to cause as much pain as humanly possible. A shiver ran down my spine just looking at Faelan's arsenal, so I shut the door as quietly as possible and moved on.

I walked the halls a little more, trying to shake off the bad feeling I got from the last room, before I was finally ready to open another door. Being sure not to wander too far into the maze of corridors, I pressed my ear against another door and heard a low creaking sound. I opened the door carefully, quietly, in case this was the bedroom of one of the Fey. What I found, instead, only increased my anxiety. The room was empty, but for one rocking chair in the middle of the floor. With no one in sight and no chance of a breeze in the windowless room, the chair rocked back and forth, creaking on every turn. My whole body went cold and I shut the door quickly.

There was a faint buzzing of sound coming from my left and I was filled once more with a feeling of dread. I placed my hand on the handle of the door across from me and took a deep breath to steady my fast-beating heart. I slowly opened the heavy door, the buzzing sound turning into high pitched screams that made my skin crawl. Looking inside, I almost started to cry myself as I saw the room was filled with human babies, all crying for their mothers. Afraid that someone could hear, I slammed the door shut and let out an exasperated sigh. I opened the door quickly and picked up the closest baby to me. She calmed down quickly once I hugged her to my chest. I couldn’t save all of them, but I could save one.

I began to hear sounds all around me and I broke into a run. It was time to get out of here.

By the time I reached the marble staircase, I was confident of my escape. Barefoot, my steps made no sound. I shuffled towards the door as quickly as possible. With one arm clutching a scared baby girl, I placed my other hand on the heavy iron handle. I paused and took a deep breath. I needed to prepare myself. I was going to have to run for my life. I pulled the heavy door open with all my might and froze.

"If you wanted a tour of the grounds, my queen, all you simply need do is ask," Faelan commented. He stood just outside the door, his eyes glowing icy blue, with a wicked smile on his face. "But it's not a tour you want." He lifted his arm and I turned to run, but was stopped by two large guards who had appeared behind me. "Return the baby and take our future queen to the dungeon. I can see now that she must await our nuptials in chains."

IX

Tethered to a post in the dampest, darkest dungeon I could ever imagine, I was in and out of sleep. It was hours before anyone came to visit. I was alone with my thoughts. I thought of my mother; my poor, sweet mother who was probably dying of a broken heart right now. I thought of my best friend, who was most likely hanging up flyers and canvassing the area. They wouldn't find me, though. They'll declare me dead soon enough and my loved ones will never get closure.

Finally, the dungeon gate opened and I could see icy blue glowing eyes. I started to sweat as Faelan approached, my face growing hot with panic. He was holding something that glowed red. As he stepped into the bleak light of the torch on the wall, I could see that it was a hot poker. Frightened, I began to cry.

"Adelaide, Adelaide, Adelaide," he started. "Your human foolishness knows no bounds, does it?"

"Why won't you just let me go home?" I whimpered.

"This is your home now, Addie," he growled as he stepped closer. "Did you really think you could fool me with sex? I am Unseelie, Adelaide. We invented that little stunt. It's the oldest trick in the book, as you humans would say." He inspected the poker, then looked back at me, the glint in his eyes menacing. He pressed his body against mine and grabbed my face so that I was looking directly at him.

I let out a distressed moan.

"You embarrassed me," he hissed.

Without warning, he jammed the poker into my side. I let out a cry of pain as I felt it break my flesh, burning everything it touched. He pulled it out just as quickly, but my side felt as though it was on fire.

"Don't worry," he whispered into my ear, "Your ladies will tend to you and these wounds will be gone in the morning. Then we can start all over." He pressed the hot iron against my cheek and I could hear it sizzle over my screams.

I begged and I begged for him to stop, but night after night, Faelan came in with his hot poker and started over again. Some nights he brought a knife and carved pictures into my skin. Other nights he brought other, horrifying instruments with which to poke and prod me. Whatever he did, though, the signs would not be visible to the world. Every night, Erin and Terin would come in and clean me up; and, every morning, my body was once more an unblemished blank canvas.

X

The final night of my confinement, Faelan brought no instruments. The sight of his glowing eyes made me laugh. And a hideous, wretched laugh it was. He approached me slowly, a smile on his face as he looked me over, from head to toe. He stopped a few paces away, his feet solid on the stone and his arms crossed over his chest. I looked upon him with pure, unadulterated hatred. He would pay for what he's done.

"Adelaide, you are not properly dressed for a celebration such as this," he commented with a hint of amusement. "Go along with your ladies in waiting and they will prepare you."

Erin and Terin entered the dungeon and approached me as if it were my first night in the castle once more. They unchained me, grabbed onto my wrists and led me out of the dungeon, up and up the stairs and, finally, into my bed chambers. They were unchanged except for a white gown lain neatly across the bed. Tonight would be my wedding night.

"Dirty queen," Erin said as she helped me out of my soiled nightgown.

"Unfit, unfit," Terin added as she placed a large basin of water at my feet. Each lady took a cloth, wet it and started to scrub at my skin. Although I knew I would not see any marks, I could not bear to look down at myself. I did not want to know how I had changed.

Once I was clean, the ladies held out my wedding dress and I stepped in obediently. I kneeled down so that they could tie the bodice, just as tightly as I remembered, and pin up my freshly washed hair. Erin placed a crown of brown thorns on my head as Terin presented me with my mirror.

I did not recognize the Faerie staring back at me. My face was a pale blue, which faded into snow white as it traveled down my neck. My eyes were like ice and the roots of my hair had turned purple while the remainder was a smooth silver. Crooking my neck, I found that my ears had become pointed. I gave a sigh. All that torture and I looked like a damn elf.

Why couldn't I have transformed into a wolf? I wanted to have a famous snarl grin and terrifying glowing eyes. Besides, it was much more like a wolf to commit treacherous acts against their enemies, especially when stealth was necessary. Instead, I looked like I was going to frolic in a clearing in the forest, tantalizing mortal passersby with song.

"My lady does not approve?" asked Erin.

"We will change," Terin chimed in.

"No," I said. "I will make do. Lead the way."

The ceremony was more simple than I would have thought. It was a quiet handfasting with a handful of wretched, noble witnesses. Faelan and I stood facing each other while a human-esque Fey with brown skin and antlers had us grab the other's wrist. We glared at each other as the Fey began to ask us questions.

"Faelan and Adelaide, do you come here voluntarily to enter this marriage ceremony?"

"No," we said in unison. The Fey wrapped a ribbon around our joined hands.

"Faelan and Adelaide, will you honor and respect one another?"

"No." Second ribbon.

"Will you support and assist each other in times of pain and sorrow?"

"No." Third ribbon.

"Will you share each other's laughter and joy, and look for the brightness and fun in life, and the positive in each other?"

"No." Fourth ribbon.

"Is it your intention to bring peace and harmony into your everyday ways of communicating?"

"No," I replied.

"Definitely not," Faelan agreed. The fifth ribbon was wrapped around our joined hands.

"Finally, Faelan and Adelaide, as the years pass and your hands become aged and wrinkled, will you reach out and be there for each other?"

"God, I hope not," I answered.

"Agreed," Faelan replied. The sixth and final ribbon was wrapped around our hands.

"Your union is symbolized by the tying of these ribbons," the deer-priest announced. "Your union is formed by your hatred and your commitment to the vows you have made, and will be enriched by the way you live your everyday lives together. You hold in your own hands and hearts the making or breaking of this union. While we are now going to remove the ribbons the knot will remain tied, symbolizing two lives becoming one in chaos."

The ribbons were removed and our wretched witnesses burst into applause.

I looked into my new husband’s cold eyes and smiled. He returned that smile. My smile said, I'm going to kill you.

His replied, I'd like to see you try.