The hungry book

I feel myself falling into an abyss of whiteness. That feeling, like falling back into my body after a dream of flying - yet now I fall away from my self, my face indistinct in the distance, the brown ceiling of the classroom I'd been in zooming out until it was but a brown speck consumed by emptiness.

That Wednesday had started so normal. PE class. Catherine talking about someone's muffin top. Mr. White describing symbiosis. Me getting sucked into a little black book. Hm. Enumerating normal things doesn't seem to be distracting me enough. How did this happen in the first place? I'd gone back to my desk to grab a book we had to read for English class next morning, and there it was, the black book.

The black book that had now consumed me.

Suddenly the weightlessness stops. I make a soft landing on a gigantic deep dark blue pillow that sucks me in and spits me onto the grass. Lying on my back, I can see a new sky, the colour of turquoise with swirls of wandering copper and white clouds.

- CAW CAW I see you're the latest snack Benji has munched up.

Shakily I hurried onto my feet, coming face-to-face with a giant crow wearing a fedora hat. The size of a large man, his shiny black feathers looked like the best quality down you could get. He'd make a nice pillow I thought. This day kept getting weirder.

- What, Benji, who, how? No, wait - what is this place?? Why can you talk?

- Well well, surely a talking crow should be the least of your concerns today. Talking crow is by no means a respectable way to address one, no no, name's Mortimer if you will. Now, Benji, Benji is the notebook, the story we find ourselves within. Benji is the black notebook you came upon, who chose you to join us.

- Oh, apologies - I'm Ellie, pleased to meet you Mortimer. What do you mean the notebook chose me? And it... it eats things?

- Well you see, you must be a part of the story Benji is putting together. Benji takes a little inspiration from every piece consumed, and you see, the first thing it ate was a mystery.

As it turned out, the little black book had eaten things before. A murder mystery. $20.000 dollars. A restaurant chain. A golden retriever. Two old ladies called Gladys. And this white and yellow village we found ourselves upon. For every meal the notebook had, another piece of the story was written - and so I came to be part of a murder mystery in Winterbreen.

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Gladys and Gladys were Winterbreen's inspector mayors. Originally they campaigned individually for the position, but given no one knew which Gladys was which but everyone knew they made an exquisite sponge cake, it didn't seem to matter which one had gotten the majority vote.

Gladys Auburn and Gladys Brown had been gardening together when Auburn found the small black notebook. It swallowed them both, and as they stepped into Winterbreen they'd found themselves delighted at the prospect of some good entertainment to breakup their retirement routines.

The first person they came across was old man Daniel - he'd been running around town waving his arms in distress, asking for help. Rushing to his side, they offered him a chocolate cookie which Gladys A always carried in a tiny Tupperware, and a bit of tea Gladys B had in her pocket flask. Nodding, Daniel took the tea, cookies and Gladyses with him to his chicken grill, where Tony was laying - pale as a ghost, his brown vest charred with black coal grill marks.

- Oh my - Gladys B took his pulse - Stone cold dead this one. What happened Daniel?

- I found him like this! The missus heard a commotion in the morning and I came down to find him so - Daniel broke into a sob, unable to speak.

The Gladyses had been firefighters back in their hometown - the two retirees were not daunted at the prospect of the grilled and the distressed. They'd hoped to have been able to help Tony, but it was too late for him. Now the time was to find the killer, before it became too late for someone else.

Winterbreen had however, been uninterested at best. The town was an anarchy when the Gladyses arrived - missing a police department and a town hall - Benji the book had had no appetite to swallow these. So they set out to organise matters, bake some goods, elect themselves a mayor and an inspector - an election they ended up winning mainly due to lack of interest/competition. They'd campaigned on a promise to organise the town, solve the murder of Tony Cole, and get decent baked goods to every household.

Fast forward to today, and the Gladyses had settled into their office, sporting their fresh navy blue inspector mayor outfits, Gladys A was admiring herself in the mirror whilst Gladys B went through Tony's case-file once again. This was the scene that Ellie and Mortimer found as they stepped into their office.

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Mortimer took me through the streets of Winterbreen, the little yellow and white houses against a grey cobblestone under that strange sky made me feel like I'd stepped into a dream. There were people and gigantic animals, shopfronts selling glasswares and treats, small market stalls covered in coloured shells. We stopped in front of a large green gate with "Town hall" spelled upon it.

We stepped in to find the town mayor inspectors - the Gladyses. Mortimer introduced them, explaining that Auburn had her hair dyed a fiery gold whilst Brown's was blue and silver.

- Lovely as ever you two ladies. I'd like you to meet Ellie, our new inspector. She's been eaten, or shall I say recruited, on this very day.

- Very well Mortimer dear, we shall go through the case once more - G. Auburn straightened her navy jacket, took a deep breath and started.

- Tony Cole was found dead at 10:30 am on a Tuesday morning, with grill marks on his chest. The coroner report later said his blood had traces of a pentobarbital, and put the approximate time of death at 6am. Tony was found originally by the owner of the Town Grill, Daniel Santos.

- Daniel was of course a prime suspect in the matter - G.Brown continued - Maybe their business arrangement had gone bad. The second suspects were the Chow's, who the victim was indebted to - the Chow's own the town's casino and restaurant chain. Finally, his ex-girlfriend Lena, leader of the vegan club - she got together with Tony in a desperate attempt to change his hunter ways and naturally, things hadn't gone too well.

- Now, from this list, we would need someone with access to the barbiturate used. We checked the nearby veterinarian which had part of their stock go missing about a week before Tony was found. That was a dead end, which left us to focus on motives for each of the main suspects.

G. Auburn showed Ellie the photos of the suspects one by one as she continued.

- Daniel - a round faced bearded giant - heavily relied his services to run the grill. Being quite senior would have made it harder to rob the veterinary. The Chow's - two giant grey shorthair cats with opposable thumbs - were well known for their business acumen, not usually terminating those indebted to them. Plus, Tony helped supply their business, so while killing him would be easy, it wouldn't be profitable.

- Finally, the vegans - Gladys A. produced a photo of Lena, a curly brown haired woman with broad shoulders - they had a problem with Tony's hunter way of life - but made a solid case explaining Tony was another type of animal, albeit a human one, and thus worthy of as much compassion as your average rabbit. Tony and Lena seemed to have separated in good terms, despite their differences and Lena's failed plan to veganize him.

- And here we are. I'm afraid Tony had a few too many beings with a bit of a chip on their shoulder towards him. But Ellie my dear, you've been added in to the mix so I suspect you must somehow hold the key to the unveiling.

- It does seem that far too many people had reasons to target Tony. It is strange to choose a drug used by veterinarians, and then grill him... What would that mean? Could a giant chicken have become sentient and have come for revenge? Who would have the ultimate reason.. Maybe even.. the book itself?

Tears of ink started coming out of the walls. The black ink droplets formed a shape in the middle of the room, bubbling up to form a little black dog, crying tears of ink and rage:

- How could you suspect ME of all beings! I am.. UNDIGNIFIED!

A "plop" sound, and Benji was gone as fast as he came.

- Oookay not that then. Ellie paused, rubbing her forehead. Say if the book didn't do it and the pieces are all here, then... It has to be Lena. The vegan society is best connected to get animal-related drugs, given their good veterinarian contacts. And I know exactly how to make her talk. Come with me Gladyses, we have a killer to catch.

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We found Lena in her bamboo kitchen, sipping a green juice. Her long black curls spread over a white tunic, she was the very image of innocence. But her looks would be of no avail for I knew how to go past Lena's defenses, I knew what my part was in this story. My ninja classes would be put to good use to activate her chakra of truth.

- It's time Lena. I have come for the truth - do you know who killed Tony?

I traced a circle with my right foot and drew a sequence in the air, the jutsu dance of the enlightenment. A bright light illuminated Lena's heart: in the light, an image of Mortimer and Tony embracing. One of Lena holding a shot. Of Tony laying motionless in Daniel's grill.

Lena's throat chackra shed an orange glow as she began to speak:

- Me, a true vegan, I believe in platonic love towards animals, pure innocent love. When I saw Tony and Mortimer together, I knew I had to save Mortimer. He would not know better, but Tony was a predator, Mortimer was but another one of his giant chickens to him, so hist faith was dire. I did what I had to - I saved the kinder species.

- How could you?? Cried Mortimer - You know not about love or sin, and the needs of beings! Those that you in your puritan ways could not understand. You are but a murderer.

- Lena Sizzler, you are under arrest! - echoed both Gladyses

A "blooop" sound and Benji appears in a swirling dance.

- Very well Ellie, your instincts and ninja skills were the key to unravel the truth. I shall now return you to your world with your prize of twenty thousand dollars for solving the crime.

The world turned a million colours and in a swirl, me and the Gladyses found ourselves outside my school. The sky was back to normal, a glorious golden sunset upon us, and no gigantic birds in sight.

I reached into my jacket to find twenty grand. Seemed like Benji had made good on its promise. I turned to Auburn and Brown, smiling

- Well ladies, pack your bags. I am taking us all to Okinawa for my dream trip - I couldn't have done it without you! Please come, there may be more mysteries to solve on the way. Shame Mortimer cannot join us, but I have a feeling he is now off to find love again in his bird world... Plus I can't trust he wouldn't distract a cute Okinawan from my charms, with possibly deadly consequences.

The End