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The father of the church and his assistant.

by Waldo Yamada about a year ago in religion
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A short story of Takad and Spoons who discovered Catholicism.

"Blessed the father, son, and holy cost."

Takad and Spoons. The dynamic duo returns again. Their life of drinking has never changed. They still live in the three wall shanty house near the stream in the jungle.

One night, Takad and Spoons were in a drinking bout and they were listening to the battery-operated radio. They were having blast, enjoying the night's reward after a completed mission of delivering food for their relatives. Thankfully, they were paid in beer.

As the night went on, the radio ran out of batteries and they still had enough beer for the night. So they started telling scary stories. One of the stories that Takad was talking about was 'the white lady'. The story is similar to La Llorona and she stalks around water areas. Takad was explaining how the white lady was looking for her husband and a nearby brush started rustling. They jumped up and ran to the nearest road that had a light pole which was about a 10 minute run downhill from their shanty house.

They didn't return home until about a week because they wanted to make sure that the white lady forgot about them. While waiting around, Takad and Spoons slept in the city streets in the main city. Where it was safe, because no ghost would be around a lot of people. That was their surmise, since no one ever saw a ghost in a crowded area.

It was Sunday morning and Takad and Spoons woke up to the sound of the Church bells nearby. So Takad and Spoons realized that going to the Church mass would be the best way to get blessed before they went home. They didn't know that the eucharist has alcohol in it.

After the choir and passages, the Church Father moved to the middle of the Church to give out the eucharist and bread. So Takad and Spoons joined the long line to receive the blessing. It was finally Takad's turn and Spoons was right behind him. Takad took the bread and he leaned over to take the wine. He smelled the wine and tasted it and his eyebrows started to raise. After his turn, it was Spoons, and Takad leaving the line turned around and gave Spoons the thumbs up. Which meant, 'the wine is good wine'.

Spoons smiled so wide that the father of the church felt very gleeful about Spoons. He had some kind of radiance that Spoons had that the father was wondering about. So after the mass, the father asked him a couple of questions to find out about Spoons. Spoons character has never done any heinous crimes, but thievery for beer.

So the father told Spoons that he was very important and encouraged him to keep coming to church. Spoons thanked the father and asked how to pray because Spoons never really had any religious affiliation. The father told Spoons to ' just put your hands together and pray then after that, do the sign of the Cross and say Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

So Spoons started practicing prayer for a while. He would wake up, pray and 'say father son and holy cost'. Then he would wake up Spoons and they would do their daily tasks of getting money for beer or work for beer. Then that evening Spoons would pray for both of them and he would say 'father, son, and holy cost,' then they would drink and eat.

Spoons had been going to church since then and he was always eager to learn more about the 'holy cost'. One of the traditions that Spoons learned was that if you also see a cross beside the road. You would have to do the sign of the cross and say the trinity. Yet, Spoons didn't really comprehend the father that well so his saying was mixed between saying cost or ghost. He remembered that the 'white lady' was at their house a couple of months ago. Including the fact that wine has alcohol. So he just explained it to himself as the 'holy cost'.

Throughout the year, Spoons became close to being a devoted Catholic, the only difference was his direction of worship that was mixed with alcohol, the cross, and the holy cost. On a Sunday, he was walking on the side of the road with Takad to go to church. While they were walking, Spoons saw a fire-extinguisher. He stopped Spoons and Takad did the sign of the cross and he said, 'father, son and holy cost.' The cars that were passing by started beeping and flipping them off.

Spoons didn't care, because he had faith in the 'holy cost' and Takad wouldn't argue also because going to church meant a free sip of alcohol. Then a police officer stopped Spoons and Takad before they made it to church. Spoons and Takad had a questioning look on their face because they knew they were not doing anything wrong. The police officer said, " Sirs, do you mind explaining why you're blessing the fire hydrants? The whole Catholic community filed a complaint saying that these two historic drunkards found faith and now they think they can make holy water everywhere."

Spoons replied with the only faithful comment, ' it was for the holy cost.' Then the officer replied, 'not cost like money you idiot, ghost.' In a blink of a second Takad and Spoons ran straight back to their hide-out because this time they realize they pissed off another ghost. The police officer just nodded his head in dismay and didn't even bother chasing Takad and Spoons because their antics are out of this world.


About the author

Waldo Yamada

I was born and raised in Guam. I was one of those kids who can speak English and Palauan. I joined the US military at 18 and finally found a plot here in Yuma, Arizona. I am now a student at Arizona Western College.

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