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The Fairy Godfathers Assistant

Who knew notebooks could be such a pain in the butt?

By Mindi BolligPublished 3 years ago 9 min read
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Today sucked. Really, really sucked. Have you ever had one of those days where Murphy's Law wasn't just active but doing the mambo on your karma? Yeah, that is my day. Murphy is an ass. Then again, what did I expect when my parents had the audacity to moon fate by naming me, Jinx. Jinx Fairweather Reginald Du Vua at your service. Gee! Thanks, mom and dad! You're the best. I groaned, staring at my mentor, waiting for the old geezer to finally get to his point.

"- and thus you must never. NEVER let a human touch the notebook because-"

Blah blah blah! Come on! Just hurry up already! I know that I'm supposed to be excited that today is the first day as an official Assistant Fairy Godfather. I know it is all amazing that I'll be able to go out and spread miracles all on my own. But all I wanted was to get out of these muddy clothes and go home! My wings hurt from evasive flying lessons. I rolled my eyes at the thought of the disaster. A gust of wind slammed me face first in a dumpster this morning, only to be scooped up by a stray cat thinking it got its first meal of the day. If that wasn't enough, just as I was about to spray sparkle dust in its face, a dog came from out of nowhere. The stupid cat took off with me still in its mouth. It only dropped me after the dog got too close. Of course, where did it drop me of all places? Down a Manhole. Yup, today sucks. Who knew pixie school would be a death trap in disguise?

"Jinx, are you listening to a word I'm saying?" old man Parsnip growled, glaring at me in undisguised disgust.

"Yes, Master Parsnip.", I said, trying to keep the attitude out of my voice. Seriously though, how long does it take to give me a stupid notebook? The job was simple. Open the notebook of miracles, find the person with the name in the notes and grant a minor wish. Voilá! The task is done, and I can go home!

"Jinx...JINX!!!! Oh, for the love of toadstools, I give up, take the notebook and go but don't-"

I whooped and snatched the notebook beelining for the door as fast as my damaged wings would carry me.

"JINX, WAIT, JIIIINNNNXXX!" yelled Master Parsnip trying to catch up to me.

"Later, Master Parsnip!!! See you tomorrow!!" I waved over my shoulder cheerfully.

Finally! Freedom, sweet freedom! Now to go home and get a bubble bath. I refuse to defend my cleanly preferences; there is nothing wrong with a man unwinding in a candlelit bubble bath with a plate of nachos and the latest edition of Sparkle Masters Space Invasion of the Humans. I sighed happily at the thought of getting to snuggle with my dust sprite, Mitsy. Home, relaxation, slee- what the fairy farts! I screeched to a hover. The notebook in my hands began to jerk wildly, trying to get out of my grip.

"Hey!" I screeched as the little black notebook hauled me on a wild ride. Zigging this way and that trying to shake me off of it.

"St-op -it-you- stu-pid-book!", I stuttered trying to keep my grip on the demented literature. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. The notebook certainly stopped-for half a second then smashed into my face using my head as a cushion to topple us to the ground. Using its pages to slap me, the notebook wouldn't let go of my face.

"OW! Hey, knock it off, get off of me!", I yelled trying to pull the thing off my face. What kind of messed up joke was this? Did the Masters finally decide they've had enough of me and are trying to off me via paper cuts? I could see the headline now "Police Dumbfounded, Jinx Duva found dead in a city park. Death by a thousand papercuts!".

Finally, I got enough leverage and kicked the demonic black book as far as I could manage away from me. I breathed heavily for a moment, then groaned as the darn thing up and took off. My head flopped back. I stared at the sky for a long moment. Do I really have to get it? Maybe I could say I lost it and- the image of the Master's face popped in my head. Nope. Not an option. Sugar nuts! This sucked! I heaved myself up and winced. Oh, I really, really don't want to look at my wings. Bracing myself, I peaked at my poor bent wings and whimpered. There was no way I could fly like this. It would take at least three days with the best witch's brew to fix this.

"You fairy fracking toad boil! Just wait until I get my hands on you!! I'm going to tear your pages out and burn them in an incinerator!!!", I screeched hobbling in the direction of my wayward charge.

Oh, this was bad, really, really, really bad. I closed my eyes and prayed to the God of chocolate chips. I wasn't seeing what I thought I saw. I cracked open an eye and looked again. Nope, I definitely wasn't imagining it. Crackerjacks! That stupid notebook just dropped itself into a human's lap. I facepalmed, then began banging my head into a tree when the human began to flip through the pages of the notebook. I was so dead. That's it! Kaput, finito. I might as well tear off my wings and go live with the dwarves. No human was EVER supposed to read the notebook of miracles even the youngest pixies knew that. Oh, this wasn't good. I'm going to be strung up by my toes and exiled for this. I HAD to get that notebook back.

I hurriedly moved forward, not bothering to sneak since humans couldn't see us anyway. Hmmm, now how to grab it without drawing attention. While humans couldn't see us, there was no point in getting the creature riled up. They always did the strangest dances and loud shrieks whenever they came in contact with one of us. Poor unfortunate souls. Not one spec of magic in their big clumsy bodies. That's what we were for; it was kinda like taking care of semi-intelligent pets who were always getting into trouble. They had a nasty tendency of doing stupid things like burning our forests if left alone, so we decided to take a select few of them under our wing. I guess they were kind of cute, in that so ugly you like it sort of way. I clambered up on the bench seat next to him and crossed my arms. I studied him for a minute. The giant was interesting; he was dressed in baggy blue clothes that matched and tidy black shoes. I think the humans called them scrubs? I tried to think back to humans 101. This man was a healer. Now, what did the humans call it? Oh yeah, do-ctur. Humans had such weird names. The giant groaned, running one hand through the thick black fur on his head, still holding the notebook in his other. I swear to God, the notebook blew a raspberry at me and snuggled deeper into the creature's hand.

"Now, how do I get you to put down the notebook." I pondered out loud, cocking my head.

To my horror, the man jumped and stared at me. No, you don't get it. He STARED at me! He wasn't supposed to be able to see me! What the fudge nugget was this?

"What the...oh god, I'm hallucinating. I finally cracked. I KNEW this line of work was going kill me. It has to be the stress from those stupid student loans and no sleep. Now I'm seeing furry garbage creatures with bent wings. Maybe I should just- "

"Hey," I yelled snapping my fingers, making him stop his hysterical tirade, "I am not a garbage creature! I'm a fairy godfather in training! Look, mister, I don't know how you are seeing me, maybe it's the notebook. Don't know, don't care. All I need is that little black notebook you are holding. Then you can go back to having your mental breakdown.

The man just blinked, and rubbed a hand on his face like he had a headache.

"Notebook?", He glanced down at the miniature book in his hand then handed it to me, "Sorry, I thought it was one of the patient's toy accessories to a doll or something.".

I warily took the notebook and became highly suspicious when it laid flat and unmoving. What was this thing planning? I turned to walk away when the notebook shivered a little. I sighed and turned back to the man who was, once again, crouched over.

"Hey," I squeaked a little and cleared my voice, trying again. "Hey! What your name?".

The man glanced up, surprised at my question.

"Jake….Jake Morrison.".

I shifted uncomfortably, and the notebook nudged me with its cover flap in the side.

"OW! Ok, ok! Thanks…For catching the notebook…" I mumbled." So uh, I mean, what's the matter. You seem upset?"

The man just laughed.

"You mean besides talking to a figment of my imagination?".

Looking up at the sky, he went silent for a moment then began to speak.

"I'm a nursing student. I am halfway through my course, and it's harder than I ever imagined. So many people…" He choked up and tried again, "I can't help them all, you know? I try and try, but it never is enough. Kids are the hardest, especially when they know they are going to die. I was working at the children's cancer center when I got a call about my scholarship….they are pulling my funding. I'm not going to be able to finish, and I need this. I need to help them. I can't get the image of those poor kids' faces out of my head.".

I stared at the human in front of me, and I felt something stirring in me. The notebook warmed in my hands, and I glanced down. Once again, it shot out of my hand, but instead of running away, Gold writing appeared in the blank pages. Jake Morrison.

I smiled and looked up, hands-on-hips.

"Well, Jake Morrison, today is your lucky day! I have come to grant you a wish! What would you like?".

Jake snorted, "A wish, huh? How about twenty thousand dollars? Then I can get through school and pay off my debt.".

With a wink, I snapped the notebook closed and blew the pixie dust at him. He coughed and glared at me.

"Your wish has been granted!" I chirped, pleased with myself. Now I could finally go home! I turned around and started walking away.

"Hey, wait-," He yelled. He looked confused, he couldn't see me anymore, but I smiled as his phone rang.

"Congratulations, Sir! Your application for the twenty thousand dollar grant has been approved-".

The man's jaw dropped, and I marched proudly up the street. My first wish granted! Now to go home and-

"Hey!" I yelled as the notebook yanked me down the street again, "Oh no, you don't! I WANT MY BUBBLE BATH DARN IT!".

THE END

fantasy
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