Over Powered Soup Kitchen

The wreckage of a massive stone tower lay across the valley. The sound of a battle still raged through the rubble. A group of heroes fought tirelessly against the owner of this tower, a lich. Blades flashed, arrows flew, and spells exploded all around. The air pressure from attacks caused trees to shake and even the clouds parted from the force of some of the spells. After many hours, the battle came to its conclusion and the leader of the party, paladin named Atlin, stood over the remains of the lich, his sword Glory held high and shouted, "The last Great Evil has fallen! Our quest has been completed!"

. . .

5 YEARS LATER

“ORDER UP!” bellowed Garod. The hulking Fighter was a member of the Leventeis barbarian tribe. He stood nearly seven feet tall and was so full of muscles that one could wonder how he was able to move around as easily as he did. Over what a sleeveless cloth shirt he wore an apron with the words I USE MY RAGE IN MY COOKING! sewn on the front. He placed a plate of stew on the counter through the small window before he placed his ladle back into the pot. This ladle was in fact a hollowed-out mace that had been heavily enchanted back in their adventuring days. In all honesty it could still be used to fight off goblin hordes if needed but like all the other kitchen implements they had, it had been repurposed. There were more enchanted items in this kitchen than there was in several dragon hordes. Even the apron that Galen wore was enchanted with more fire resistance than gear sold to dragon hunters.

Atlin grabbed the plate and handed it off to Luna who had just filled a tankard with ale for the order and she walked over to drop off the order. Compared to the massive form of Garod, Atlin almost looked small, though he was over six feet tall and fairly muscular. The customer was a man in his early twenties and based on his clothes was probably a lower class noble from out in the boonies. He certainly was not from around the Argent. As the capital of the nation of the same name most people here were either well-dressed middle or upper class or were adventures in their gear. Regardless he was stunned by Luna’s beauty, which was natural considering that she, and her twin sister Solia were of Elven decent. Their mother had been a half-elf. Their ears held glimpses of their heritage but most of it went into their physique and facial features.

Considering that they were formerly a monk and cleric, you would think that they might be a bit more conservative in their choice of apparel but they both wore short skirts, and their tops exposed a fair amount of skin. Completing their look were knee high leather boots. Luna kept her hair in a short bob cut while Solia had allowed her hair to grow out. It now reached the middle of her back.

The young man smirked at Luna and made an attempt to pat her on the rear. At the last second his hand changed direction ever so slightly and missed. He seemed perplexed and after glancing slightly at Luna and seeing that she was looking at another customer he tried again only to meet the same result. His frustration mounted and he went for a third try, this time more forcefully but recoiled with a yelp and looked at his hand bewildered. It hung there, limp.

Back in the kitchen Garod shook his head. He had, of course, seen everything that the young man had missed. Luna had deflected his had every time and unconsciously at that. The last time she had even dislocated his hand an all without even noticing what was happening. This scene had happened more times than the rest of them could count.

Luna looked at the man utterly perplexed and said, “What happened to your hand?”

She took the mans dislocated hand and with a quick motion popped it back into place. She smiled sweetly at the man, “There, that should do it. You should be more careful and get your injuries treated BEFORE you order food.”

Garod stopped midway into ladling stew onto another plate and Solia placed her palm over her face. Dras one of their waiters, who was on his break choked on his drink. He and Luna were a thing, though he and Solia were also kind of a thing. No one asked questions about that. There was a straight rule here of “You do you” and it was followed no matter what. That certainly wasn’t jealousy that made him choke. He was hanging his head, though there was a small smirk there too. “Gods you can be an airhead sometimes Luna.”

Luna looked at Dras even more confused, then shrugged and went over to the table she had been looking at before and proceeded to take their order. Over in the corner of the room near a large fireplace that was warmly crackling sat Aphen. He was also a waiter here, but his primary job was entertainment. He would tell stories or play instruments and sometimes he would get Solia to sing along if she was not needed to wait tables. Sometimes if things were slow Galen, who was usually in the kitchen with Garod, would break out some spells and add effects to the show.

Aphen had begun to play a song on his guitar and Solia began to sing along with it. Garod went to check the progress on a venison leg that had been slowly roasting. It seemed about ready to be moved to the next rung, so he went and grabbed another leg from the cold room. While he retrieved it he noted that they were starting to run low. After he placed the new leg on a spit and placed it on the starting rung, he cleaned his hands and walked over and leaning through the window looked at the blonde woman that sat at the end of the bar leaning against the wall.

“Hey Claire, we’re down to our last deer.” The woman in question leaned forward and after finishing her drink walked behind the counter and into a room off the side of the kitchen, emerging second later with a bow and quiver of arrows. She was not what you would call a great beauty, though she was quite fit. Her face was fairly plain and had a number of freckles. She wore leather boots, much like Luna and Solia, but instead of a skirt she wore leggings and a long-sleeved tunic with a leather jerkin. She walked to the door and looking back over her shoulder said, “I think I’ll hunt some other game while I’m at it so tell Galen that he’ll have to do several ports.” Her voice was slightly on the high-pitched side not what most people expected when they saw her.

Garod gave her a thumbs up and she left. One of the parties got up and prepared to leave. As they left their money on the table and prepared to leave a shadow flashed past them twice once in each direction. That shadow was Brea. She had been their rogue back in their heyday. Now she worked the counter and acted as bouncer just like Atlin. In that brief flash she had checked their tab vs the money left. It happened rarely but sometimes people tried to dine and dash. In this case one member of the party had left the wrong coin unknowingly, paying one hundred times the amount due. Based on his appearance it likely had not been intentional, so Brea had actually reverse pickpocketed him so that the correct amount had been paid.

Soon the lunch rush came to an end. As besides Galen, Claire and Garod worked to clear room the few lingering customers, who were mostly regulars chatted with them. It was mostly just small talk, though sometimes something interesting would come up. The ones most likely to get sidetracked during this time were Dras, Aphen and Luna. Brea walked into the back carrying a tray of dirty dishes and walked into what would have been quite a scene for anyone else but for the staff here at The Silver Phoenix it was normal.

There was a counter that had piles of used pots and pans and dirty dishes. On that counter there was large glass tank of water that held what appeared at first look to be an octopus. This was in fact, an Ancient Kraken, that Galen had imprisoned in a pocket dimension. There was a complex system of spells that were at work here, but the simple version was that only certain objects could pass through the glass. Particularly food, soap, rags, and dishes. Four tentacles held rags while four held the dirty pots and pans. Standing next to the tank was Galen who was dancing and singing along to a song that was coming from a magic circle next to his ear. This song was one that he had brought back from another world in the multiverse. As Brea dropped the tray off, she was treated to Galen’s tone-deaf voice singing about “single ladies” or some such nonsense.

Brea quickly retreated while Galen used some gravity manipulation magic to have the dishes float into the tank, while the cleaned dishes would cycle their way back over to be used again via a teleportation spell. Occasionally, Galen would flick his hand over in the direction of the cold room and the sound of something heavy being placed on a meat hook inside could be heard.

Back out in the dining area Atlin and Solia were casting the divine spell, purification on all the surfaces after wiping them down. The door opened and Claire came back. Checking the time using a spell that let him see through the building, Dras then caught Aphen’s eye and the two of them picked up some flyers and in a flash of light Dras teleported them outside and they proceeded to fly around the city distributing flyers for their special tonight. One their acquaintances had killed a young dragon while out on a quest and had asked if they could cook it for a celebratory feast. They were paying by offering the rest of the dragon meat in exchange.

. . .

That evening The Silver Phoenix was packed, so much so that even Atlin was helping take orders. Their VIP party was basking in their glory with many other patrons that were either current or former adventures buying them rounds of drinks. While the girls walked around in their matching “uniforms” the pretty boys that were Dras and Aphen were making sure to show off their best side for the ladies that were coming in. Luna and Solia were about as carefree as Dras was about their actions when it came to his interactions with the ladies. He had been quite the womanizer in the past, almost as bad as Aphen, but that changed now that he had the twins.

The place was starting to get pretty rowdy. Galen came out from the kitchen and cast a spell to amplify magic on Solia while Dras cast one on Atlin and the two of them cast a spell that forcibly caused the entire building to sober up slightly and for tensions to wane. One of the patrons raised his tankard and cheered, “Here’s to the lads and lasses of Overpowered Soup Kitchen!”

There was a loud cheer from the rest of the tavern while Atlin hung his head and muttered “That’s not what OSK stands for...” and from the kitchen the gruff voice of Garod shouted, “Stop calling us that!” There was a great deal of laughter and more cheers of “OSK! OSK! OSK! Cheers to the Overpowered Soup Kitchen!” poured from the crowd.

When the night finally came to a close and the last customers had left and the last of the left-over food was scraped from plates and bowls into the trash can then the staff of The Silver Phoenix had their own meal. Once they were finished, what little leftover food they had was added to that days food waste in the trash can. This container had a bag inside it that was enchanted with spacial magic but if something was left in it too long it was absorbed by the bag. Not especially useful for carrying items but for getting rid of food waste it was perfect.

Once everything was cleaned up and the doors were locked Atlin cleared their profits from the day out of the drawer that they used and placed it in a special safe that could only be opened by one of the staff. Then Galen opened portals, and everyone stepped through and they were instantly in their rooms on the upper level. Tomorrow would be another fairly boring day of nothing unusual happening.