“Look at that starry night sky,” she says to him as she nuzzles herself into his collarbone.
“Yeah, it’s quite something,” he replies, looking up, the hue of purple from the sun, just finally sneaking under the horizon, bringing with it a final moment of colour before the blanket of night falls and the stars start to glitter.
“Do you think we could take off? Do you think we could just float up and into the stars if we thought about it hard enough, you know? If we concentrated hard enough?” She says to him, holding his hand as they watch the moon hanging in the sky.
He laughs a little huff of air out of his nose. “I dunno, maybe?” He can feel her warmth, from her body and from her soul. She loves him, well, he thinks she might, but does he love her back? That’s what’s pulling at his guts in this moment of perfection.
They don’t often come, he knows that. Sometimes a flicker here, a smile in the night, a hand to hold onto in the dark, a kiss, an embrace that makes it all worthwhile. They don’t often come, so why is it so hard to simply let go and fall into them when they do. Why so much of everything else? Take a moment, that’s all he wants, just a moment for himself in the present, without all the past sneaking in, all the future rolling out. Give into the moment.
“Give me something here, Johnny,” she says as she rolls off him and leans on her elbow. He can feel her eyes fixed on him. She brings her nose into him and gives him a little Eskimo kiss on his cheek.
“What’s it been now? A few months?” He asks, still looking up at the stars, something building in him.
“About five. Five good months, Johnny. But you need to let go, you need to give it a shot, you’re never going to get anywhere otherwise.”
She knew him too well. Really, they all figured him out eventually, every time they tried to move in closer, he’d push them away. Every time they tried to change him, he let them know they never could. Every time there was something that might work, he’d twist it in his mind find some excuse, find some out. So, he ended up living for these moments, nothing else really, just hoping that one more might come after the last one had disappeared and the girl along with it at some point on the way.
“Give me your hand,” he said to her, maybe this time there could be something different. Maybe just give it a shot, not over thinking, not over doing, nothing like that. Pure and simple. No fixed beginnings, no ridged ends, just the flow.
“I can’t promise much,” he turned to her, his nose meeting hers. “But I promise I’ll give it a shot, will that work?"
“Johnny, that’s all I needed to hear.”