Locket

How did she know?

This thought rolled around my mind more and more these days. How could she have known? Nobody else seemed to, but she did. She knew enough to give me the damned locket!

I fished it from the inside pocket, close to my heart. It is there... The smooth, untarnished finish training my fingers as it always did... To grab it just so, to remove it without losing what mattered...

I hold it in my palm. Looking, helplessly. That's all I can do these days. Just look, and cry. Silent tears flowed from my eyes. This damned locket.

It hangs on a chain, gold and thin. Its shaped like a heart. The kind of thing lovers are given early in relationships to remember their newfound love. A Photograph of the giver is usually inside. This one opens, and inside....

There is no lovers picture inside. There is a small drawing. Hand made. Some lines, and an X at the end of one, a star at the end of another. They almost make a grid, but some of the lines curve at certain points, and some end in seemingly random places. It must be a map of sorts. Quickly drawn small enough to be concealed in this damned locket after only two folds. I've unfolded it enough these creases are becoming tears.

"NEXT!!!!" A bellowed order breaks my train of thought. I come out of my trance just enough to realize that I am next. Time to wake up.

I approach the window, locket still in my palm. I'm scared now. This is the first time I've dazed long enough to run this risk. I must eat though. I must act as normal as I can.

"LAST MEAL?" The person inside the window demands. "When was your last meal?" She clarifies.

"Yesterday, this time." I respond, meek. I feel so powerless here, in front of these windows. I suppose I am, though I don't like to admit it to myself.

"What did you eat?" The window asks of me.

"Daily ration. One Meat, One vegetable, and one potato. No Trimmings." The last part is meant to be a joke. Its part of how I deal with stress.

"WRIST!" She bellows. I feel like she is liking this more than she should. I put my closed fist to the window. I had forgot. That damned locket was still in there. As she lifts the scanner for the barcode on my wrist, a small, frail gold chain rolls out between my fingers. For the first time, I see a face behind the glass. I see panic on that face. I see eyes wide enough to map the galaxy. I see my own face reflected, and the fear within. I know I must run.

A hand behind the glass slams down on a large, red button. I assume its some sort of alarm, since the moment the hand hits it sirens blare... klaxons flash their light on our window. I know I must run.

I know I must run.

It feels like forever, I stand there motionless, lifeless. Its not, but it feels like it. Its probably only a couple seconds, but again... it feels like forever. In that time, I have a memory. A flash, a quick smile in the darkest of night. I remember her face in better days. Before all this. Before the war. Before the women took over. Before.... It seems like a concept, instead of reality, but it warms me, and I run.

I run like my life depends on it... At this point, it does. I must run, and I do. I run like a demon possessed. I run like the wind, so scarce these days I doubt many would get the metaphor. I run.

Through the streets, I run. I see what the war left behind. I see the remnants of my world, the one I once knew. The one that made us feel better. The one that caused this whole problem. Another memory comes back, but I hold it at bay. I must run. For now, that is all I can think about. Every other thought is death. I. Must. Run. Until....

Suddenly I must stop. I feel it in my bones, pure instinct. I stop. Instinct is a funny thing. Sometimes its hard to ignore, and for me... this is one of them moments. My entire being is screaming at me “GO LEFT!!!!” and who am I to argue? I go left. I run.

As I run, I notice a bridge coming up. I know there is an outlet for the rainwater management system that empties in to the river here. I know I can get inside. Its instinct again, but I know its right.

I hear shouting behind me, some commotion. I know they are pursuing me. I know time is all I have now, and very little of that. I know I must run, but I know its almost over. One way or the other, it's almost over. I run.

The bridge does cross the river, and there is a path beside it... nearly invisible from disuse. I veer towards it, that little path a beacon for me. I don't know what the path looks like, but I hit it full steam and suddenly the ground starts to drop away from me... For a second, I am weightless... Im not touching the ground, but I am running still. A cruel joke crosses my mind, but I don't have time for these thoughts right now.

My feet finally find purchase dangerously close to the bottom. I'm still running... but again, my body screams “STOP!” and i do. I can hear my heart beating in my ears, and nothing more. My pulse is up, I'm sweating, and I'm out of breathe. I look around. I see what I was I was after. An opening for the rainwater management system. A giant grate covers the opening, about 2 meters across and round. Almost like that damned locket. A tease of freedom. My heart sinks.

I'm almost caught now. I know this. I cant help myself, I walk towards the grate. Its real, I can see it. I know its there and I know its stopping me from reaching my destination. I know these things with every fiber of my soul, but I cannot stop myself. I must walk. I must see this grate, touch it. In my mind, it will not be real until I do.

As i near the grate, locket still in hand, I hear voices above “This way! He went this way!” “No, He's over here” “WHERE IS HE???”

I know my neighbors, my friends are in danger. I know they saw me bolt down the hill. I know they could tell the guards this, and I know I am almost visible. I know the one who does tell will live the rest of his days like a king. I know these things, but I know they are all in the same boat as me. They will not tell. They are good men and boys. If one guard looked over the side of the bridge a little harder... she would see me, walking as though in a trance towards the grate on the tunnel. I know there would be nothing I could do at that point either, Id be caught. Id be an example for anyone else who felt they must run.

I know this will not happen though. It cant. Not until I reach the grate. All I have to do is reach the gate. I walk. I'm close enough to reach out now. I'm close enough to ruin my delusion. I can reach out and grab the grate. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm sad. I'm everything a man can feel, overlapping in one moment of helplessness. I reach out. My hand finds the grate. Its cold. Its steel. It moves.

IT MOVES! Just a little bit under the minute weight of my hand, but it moves! I pull with all my strength. It Swings back towards me, and I slip inside.

TO BE CONTINUED.