It's all a bit fishy...

Albert Einstein, Rupert Murdoch, Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Steve Irwin, Steve Jobs, Drew Barrymore. What do I have in common with all of these people? We were all born between 20 February and 20 March. Other than that at first glance, I would say absolutely nothing! In most of those examples, their creativity and ambition far exceeds mine. In some, their intelligence far exceeds mine. They have all excelled in their chosen field whereas I have chosen to excel in an actual field where wellies are my normal daily attire. When was Rihanna last snapped in a sexy ensemble involving that kind of rubber?

(Footnote: it was January 2017 and in my opinion, even she failed to pull that look off.)

So Einstein first. Well, he was a bit of a brain, wasn’t he? So no similarity there. He is considered to be one of the most prolific scientists of our time – his dedication meant he produced over 300 research papers so this was a pretty determined guy. My second husband (more about him later) calls us both “human doings, not human beings” and it sounds like old Albert was the same. Also those eyes. Really quite piercing. Pisceans allegedly have the most beautiful eyes in the zodiac and I’m happy to confirm that I have often been complimented for mine. I do find it mind-blowing to think though that I have nice eyes because I was born on 4 March. How can that be science?

Rupert Murdoch. Would anyone choose to identify with him? I’m sure some would. He’s rich, successful and married to Jerry Hall, after all! So even after three failed marriages, his Piscean nature still spurred him on to believe a fourth marriage would work and it has. Similarly, this is my second marriage. My first husband was also a Piscean who married three times and is now embracing a new relationship: the Rupert Murdoch of Yorkshire.

Rihanna and Justin Bieber. Again, typical Pisceans. That love of drama. Failed relationships. Living their lives out in public. I identify with both of them. “This relationship will work”, you tell yourself. “This is the person for me”. “We’re so compatible”. Then reality hits and guess what, that was all an absolute fallacy because you just desperately want to love someone. A dog would be easier but I really cannot consider picking up your poo.

Steve Irwin showed huge empathy with the animal world. Like him, I often prefer animals to humans. They’re still unpredictable but you know what they are. If it’s a snake, it will strike but at least it doesn’t try and convince you otherwise (unless it’s Kaa but the jury is still out on whether he was genuine). Empathy is a big thing for us lot. My husband often remarks on my ability to cry whenever I hear a sad story but it’s worse than that. Anything has the ability to make me cry. Like anything. It could be a bird hovering on a thermal high in the sky. It could be a piece of music on the radio, even if that music has absolutely no significance or sad memories. It’s tough being a Piscean. Truly, it’s exhausting!

(Footnote: that’s another thing. We are total drama queens.)

Steve Jobs was a brilliant visionary with a key eye for design. Despite being a visionary though, he wanted to invent without being in the spotlight and that I can understand. Always in the kitchen at parties. I’d rather be decorating that kitchen or cooking an impromptu meal for 50 people. Anything other than having to make small talk. If I have to make small talk, you will feel as though you’re in a counselling session. When I’m asking you questions, I’m not having to answer any.

Drew Barrymore reportedly had a drink problem from 11 years of age. I made it a couple of years beyond that but was first heavily intoxicated at the modest age of 8. Nothing big or clever there (minesweeping at a family party) but it was a sign of things to come. Pisceans have to have an escape and are prone to addiction. You just want to calm your head. It isn’t that I like the actual taste of alcohol at all. It’s not my fault: my star sign made me do it.

When it came to devising a symbol for the Piscean star sign, depicting us as two fish swimming in opposite directions was absolute genius. I spend my life fighting that inner turmoil. Every day, I compile a monumental to do list and then all I actually want to do is go back to bed. I am a notorious call-screener. I will even avoid calls from people I like. If I don’t like you, send me an email. Let’s be honest, I just don’t like most people. It’s not you, it’s me.

Pisceans are well known for other things: being selfless, for disliking cruelty and for not expecting anything back and my bank statement would most definitely attest to this. Every month, donations are fired off from my bank account to a children’s hospital, guide dogs for the blind, a children’s cancer charity, paying off a relative’s debt. At other times of the year, it’s homeless charities and shelters. I never have any money, although I work two jobs but it’s because I give it all away. Someone stop me. Nobody could though because I won’t listen. There’s sensible thinking, there’s rational thinking and then there’s Pisceans. That’s a typical trait as well though: although a Piscean wants financial security, it’s more about the dreams and goals that security helps you to find. If my bank balance is higher than zero, I will find something to spend it on.

Our nature does leave us open to disappointment and that is equally a feeling I know all too well. That person you so wanted to help who is revealed to be a shameless fraud. I once spent an entire evening in a pub listening to the woes of this random stranger as he had looked so heartbreakingly sad. When I went to the loo, he stole my laptop. Dictionary definition of gullible: me.

So, back to husband #2. He shares his name with another famous Piscean: Chris Martin of Coldplay. Maligned by some, I’ve always loved Coldplay’s music and when that Chris Martin performs, I love his passion. You can almost feel his sensitivity. This is what it means to be a Piscean and it’s a star sign I am proud to share.