Is It Written In The Stars?

Let me begin by stating that I was born on August 8th which makes me a very solid Leo by all standards. Growing up, this was a most inconvenient birthday since it was never during the school semesters and thus I could not have one of those fun class parties where my mom would get everyone cupcakes or something. It was in the summer though and usually fell near a weekend which meant parties with family and friends were possible and plentiful.

I can't recall when I learned about zodiac signs but I had always thought the concept of our fate being already determined to be both a relieving and terrifying one at once. I was not a religious child but certainly a spiritual one open to any and all answers to the mysteries of life. I liked being associated with the pride of lions but I had thought the rest of it did not quite match my nature. I could be both rambunctious and extremely shy and still am really.

When people learn I am a Leo, however, there are things they expect out of me. They want me to be this overconfident, fiery, vivacious person who basks in their spotlight and celebrates themselves a little too often. I WISH! I have certainly always been a passionate person but that does not mean I always have a voice to speak these passions out loud or with any gusto.

I hate talking about myself! It is uncomfortable and is there much to say, really? When I am given attention I shy away from it because I do not like the feeling of being exposed to someone else. I like to keep my feelings to myself. Though I try to work on the matter confidence has never come naturally to me. I have found that, over the years, not meeting these expectations people have of Leos has made me a bit of a disappointment to others.

They want me to be something I simply am not.

There were deeper issues involved in this. I am a latina and the general stereotypes about us are also that we are fiery, loud, haughty women with too much emotion boiling over to be taken seriously as anything other than little sex pots. As if to counter these expectations I have always gone rather inward toward myself when it comes to questions of sex and sensuality. I desperately did not want to be seen in the light of these stereotypes.

Shyness has always been my armor in that way. If I do not speak then I do not need to explain myself, do I? These walls built had their uses and their side effects. On one hand, people did take me more seriously when they thought I was not "one of those girls". On the other, I have been a late bloomer to every social matter. It has taken time to realize there is nothing wrong with wanting something as a woman just because it may rub others the wrong way.

I still wish to be that person that walks into a room and owns it. I find comfort in reading horoscopes not because I am convinced they are real in any way but because its free vague advice! Recently I was introduced to Amrit Brar who published a book titled, "Shitty Horoscopes: The Anthology" with which incredible art showcases a unique if not rather dark look into different horoscopes throughout the year. These predictions and words mean nothing but are said in such a morose artistic way that my little cosmic heart responded well to them.

That is the point though, that they mean nothing, and we as human beings will derive meaning from anything.

I do not think you can judge people based on their zodiac signs but I think we like to look inward in an attempt to try to understand ourselves. There is nothing wrong with seeking some guidance on our day-to-day struggles.