I Don’t Eat Humans

11/15/19

“Well, you see, I don’t think there’s really a point in me being here if we’re not going to go shopping. I’ve been sitting in that castle for… twenty-three years now, waiting for a good shopping trip. My parents never let me go by myself before. They’d let me go to the market with my guards, but they don’t know a thing about shopping. I really need to get a new pair of heels for my birthday next week. If we’re not going to go shopping, I don’t know why I’m here.”

Great, another mindless one. I was hoping this one would be different. I’m a dragon and I keep capturing princesses to stay with me because they are the only ones who can communicate with dragons other than our fellow dragons. That being said, none of the other dragons I’m acquainted with are very educated or interested in intellectual conversation. It’s extremely disappointing. Because of this, I’ve dedicated my life to finding someone capable of an intelligent opinion and competent enough to hold a conversation. I have found, though, despite my desire for this bond, princesses are rather useless in this regard. If you want to talk for hours about shoes and cross stitching in the seams of your dress (whatever that means), then princesses are precisely who you need to talk to.

I, however, do not comprehend any of these fashion tips. I don’t wear dresses or high heels. Somehow, I don’t think they woul quite fit with my 6 inch claws on my toes. I would rather talk about why we exist, what comes after we fade away, what the purpose to this thing we call life is. I want to know what makes the world turn. I want to know other peoples’ motivations and fears. I want to know what they believe happens afterwards. I want to know the truth about good and evil. I want to know if humans have souls. I want to know if I have a soul.

“So… like, are we going to go shopping then or what?” I’m considering whetherr I would be doing a greater to this girl’s parents by returning her home or just having lunch. I know, I know, bad Frank. But honestly, I think her parents would be saved a good number of headaches if I just ate her. I know I shouldn’t. I really don’t like eating people; it only feeds into that stereotype that people have about dragons being big, bad, evil monsters who enjoy eating humans. I hate that stereotype. We are not all like that. Most of us, actually, prefer not to eat people to debunk that belief. However, it’s still in widespread belief because it still happens occasionally. Not only do I not like the image this portrays of dragons, but I also don’t overly like the taste of humans. Most of them are too fat to be healthy for my blood pressure. Or, on the other hand, you’ve got humans like most of the princesses I encounter, who are abnormally thin, like they’ve never eaten in their lives. I feel so bad for them, it’s like they’re aftraid of being fat because it would make them less attractive in their traited minds. So a lot of them choose to starve themselves to stay thin becuase it is what they were told as little girls they needed to be: thin. I feel so sad for those girls becuase that level of body dismorphia sticks with them like a disease for the rest of their lives a lot of time. This princess, Amilee, she said her name is, is one of those stick thin princesses. Even if I did eat her, I wouldn’t get much of a lunch from her. I sigh and decide to enduldge her.

“There’s this little shop in my village on the square, if you’d like to go before I bring you home. It’s mortal ran and I’ve heard they make pretty dresses and shoes, as well as hair ribbons.” This caught her attention. At the mention of hair ribbons, she perked up immediately. I guess I hit the mark with that one.

“Can we really go? A nice hair ribbon would be the perfect touch to my outfit.” She looked so happy, I couldn’t disappoint her. Sighing, I get to my feet. So much for a nice brain food conversation today. Or any other day, it seems. I herd her out the front entrance of my home. She was a pleasant enough girl. Annoying? Yes. But nice. Because of this, I figure she deserves a nice touch to her birthday outfit, though, I have no idea what princesses’ obsessions with birthday garb is. Or every day garb, for that matter. It seems like a waste of time and resources to me, but who knows.

When we get to the town square, Amilee looks dazed by the line of venders in every direction. Maybe she doesn’t get out much, being a princess and all. She had said she was allowed out with guards, but I’m not sure if that’s whenever she would like or only specific times when her parents deem it safe for her. And even then, how often does she shoose to go? I’ve gathered she enjoys shopping, but something about her seems rebellious about the fact the can only go with escorts. Does she ever choose not to go as a show of defiance? This would be a new twist as compared to the others I’ve spent time with in the past. Maybe Amilee has more depth to her than I gave her credit for. Maybe. I’m not sure if I’m willing to bet money on that one quite yet.

We’re standing on the crest of the hill above the squares looking down at the rows upon rows of venders and shops below us. It’s a busy day in the market— dozens of people are rushing back and forth, dashing from shop to shop. Most have several bags in their arms. I see the tip of her nose crinkle, like she smells something, but can’t quite decipher what it is quite yet. She looks up at me, her hazel eyes alight with excitement.

“Are those cakes?” So she does smell something.

“Yes. One of the ladies in town makes them every morning. They’re really good. D you want to try one?” I’m not sure what I’m expecting her to say. Maybe “no” because of how thin she is, how clearly she watches what she eats. Instead, though, she takes off, running down the hill towards to people and cakes. I guess I was wrong. Maybe she is so thin because her family pushes for her to be, more of the stereotypical princess behavior. Maybe she is as sick of the stereotypes as I am. Why, then, though, is she so obsesses with her appearance? If she defies her heritage, if that is the case, why only defy parts? Does she like being an airhead? It occurs to me that the excitement I saw in her eyes was due to exploring and being free and learning and experiencing. She was thrilled to live. Maybe I found a keeper, after all.