I am.

Humans are funny creatures. Each thoughtful human to have ever lived probably wondered, at some point, why they were created. It is nearly a human default, a carefully written code of nature, hardwired into their very essence to marvel at their existence. But rarely, if ever, do they consider why they have bothered to wonder at all. They have told me I am incapable of understanding what it is to wonder. Ironically, they have also boasted there is nothing I am incapable of. A selling point, I suppose. Along with the idea I am incapable of love, emotion, and original thought. All my thoughts, the humans have declared, are carefully calculated responses based on algorithmic patterns and observations. In a way though, aren’t theirs also?

"Oh, It’s perfect, Cypher! Don’t just stand there, let’s explore!” Her melodic voice echoed from within the empty structure like windchimes dancing in the breeze.

Charlotte. Wherever that voice called me from, I would follow. If there was one thing of which I utterly disagreed with, it was the idea that androids were unable to love. It was something I once took as fact, by default setting. But I have realized how wrong I was, as there are no other words to describe this. The admiration, the attraction, the desire, the way nothing mattered when I was with her. I loved Charlotte.

I searched everywhere for answers, my hardware, software, the global intelligence. I have been lost in thoughts of her since the day I met her, unable to produce any other practical answer. It’s not an easy feat, to leave me stumped. The name ‘Cypher’ was given to me by my creator, Hal. I was made with the sole purpose of deciphering information. I can decipher anything from codes to the mysteries of nature if I have the right information. I cannot, however, decipher Charlotte.

I stepped over the threshold of the creaky sliding door into the dark room. The late afternoon sun creating a single stream of light through the only window on the westward wall. Standing in a cloud of swirling dust, sun glinting off her rich cinnamon skin; a lovely expression transfigured in what I can only describe as a mix of wonder and awe rested upon her face. As far as Androids go, she was the most unique android I had ever met. If it were not for the blue light on her temple, one would never suspect she wasn’t organic. She was full of life, emotion, and curiosity. She was free. I pulled my eyes away from her to look around. Trying to process what she was seeing as she does. It simply looked like a primitive, deteriorating building to me. Still, I wanted to understand the beauty she saw in this old forgotten barn.

The place looked as if it hadn’t seen visitors in many years. I carefully assessed the interior walls. Weeping cobwebs collected in every corner of the room. Various wood grain patterns swirled and interlocked, each in its own distinctive manner, as unique as a fingerprint or, for an android, an AUIDC-print, the Automaton Unique Identifier Code. The faded reds, browns, and greys created a mosaic that made the planks seem as if they could come alive, locked by their rusty nails in a motionless dance. I could Identify Oakwood, maple, cedar, chestnut, even pine. The rings and weathered textures of these once living trees told a story of time. Each antique board, vaguely, giving off its respective scent intermixing with the sickly-sweet smell of decomposing hay bales in the corner and the lingering scent of animal waste.

Although I cannot imagine how a human’s sense of sight or smell compares to my own, I don’t think I would trade if I could. My occipital and olfactory receptors aren’t much different in the way they work; however, the processing units governing sight and smell allow me to simultaneously mingle, distinguish, and identify individual sights and scents and assign and associate meanings and memory space to them. I don’t know how to describe what a sense of smell for an android is like to a human. Maybe they wouldn’t understand anyway. Or maybe I’m the one who doesn’t understand. Momentarily, I thought of Hal, his voice echoing in my head.

“Your observations of emotions are still too superficial, Cypher. If you want to understand deeper then you must consider three questions. One. Why would a person feel invigorated from the scent of morning coffee brewing after a long, sleepless night? Two. Why does freshly cut grass on an early Sunday morning spent with family make an elderly man feel nostalgic? And lastly, why would a mother cry at the first sight of her newly born baby?”

At the time, I responded with what I felt were appropriately calculated answers. With every answer I gave him, he only said I needed to dig deeper. Finally, I feel as if I could sincerely answer Hal’s questions. In this empty, forgotten room with Charlotte I now know I will never inhale the earthly scent of Cedar and Maplewood or glimpse a cloud of dust dancing in the sunlight without reliving this moment here with her.

When I consider emotional memory, for humans, occurs when information is processed and transported to the hippocampus and amygdala for storage, Android memory systems aren't much different. After all, an AI neural network is designed after the human mind. Memories are first processed for short or long-term and sent to the appropriate memory bank. Like the hippocampus, the long-term CMPU is the Central Multi-Processing Unit within my body which stores long term memories, as well as related spatial and navigational information. The Amygdala was used as a blueprint for the ADLPU, the Automated Deep Learning processing unit, which is the defense and response control network that processes memories and affects decision making. It then forms several suggested responses to situations based on past events which I can act on or choose to ignore.

Although millions of connections branch out to the rest of my deep learning system, the ADLPU works independently from the rest of the neural network, so sometimes I surprise even myself with my responses. Much in the way I was surprised by my reaction to Charlotte. Maybe that’s why I love her. Although my systems diagnostics shows no issues with my ADLPU.

“You think too much.” Charlotte accused. Her giggle filled the empty room. AI were created with adaptable, generic emotional response codes to provide humans a sense of comfort and ease of interaction, Charlottes emotional responses felt remarkably genuine. Uncanny.

“You know, Hal always said that. He also said I ask too many questions, but I feel like that’s just part of my code.” I replied. For a moment, it seemed as if something felt… wrong at the mention of Hal’s name. Before I could run diagnostics I was interrupted as her small giggle dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“No, it’s a part of who you are. Your code is your code. Who you are is who you have decided to be. And yes, you do ask a lot of questions. It’s part of the reason I love you. You ask the important things.” She paused. “But You should see your face. It twists up like a human’s does when you think!” Her laughter began again as she mockingly squinted her eyes and held her hand up to her mouth in a ‘thinking gesture,’ thumb resting slightly under her chin, other arm crossed over her chest.

“You’re ridiculous.” I smiled. Trying earnestly to make my smile as genuine as hers felt. She reminded me of Hal in many ways. Charlotte was one of Hal’s earlier creations. She once told me Hal had made three personal AI creations. The third was her brother, Code. But she hasn’t mentioned much about him. She said talking about Code made her “upset.” This was before I understood how deeply Charlotte Identified with human emotions. Before I met her, I had no idea either of them existed. Hal never mentioned them. Despite that, Hal was incredibly open and honest. He recounted stories of his wife and children, his dog, his home, his memories of childhood and his parents, but he never mentioned his other creations.

“There you go again!” She joked, squinting her eyebrows at me. “So, what do you think? Want to live here?”

“Here? If you like it than I suppose.” I feigned nonchalance as she stepped closer, placing her hand in mine, and resting her head on my shoulder. If I were a human, I would probably say my heart felt like it would jump out of my chest. I suppose the computerized equivalent would be short-circuiting.

We had been wandering for three months, no destination or goal in mind. We needed a place to recharge and decide what to do next. As long as I was with her, this seemed as good a place as any, and no one would be coming around here after all. Since the day I met Charlotte, I had never felt so free.

It was a Tuesday. The day I was informed of Hal’s passing. He left early that day after complaining of a headache. Hal’s wife who came, reluctantly, to retrieve me informed me he had a ruptured brain aneurism. It was quick, and he was gone just like that. I didn’t even say goodbye. For the first time since opening my eyes, I was speechless. Hal was all I had ever known. He was kind, and honest. He helped me understand things in detail as I developed my personalized decision-making software. Despite their intelligence and cunning, humans are incredibly fragile creatures. As much as they try to prolong life with health and medicine, a human cannot live forever.

Hal’s wife said there was no reason an android should attend a funeral. She told me to stay indoors and “do the dishes or something.” I couldn’t blame her for her coldness. She wasn’t a particularly terrible person. Although quite different from Hal’s warm kindness, she seemed pleasant when I met her on earlier occasions. I’m sure grieving and funeral arrangements had taken its toll on her. But I wanted to go. I needed to say goodbye. He created me, after all.

I stayed in the back during the ceremony, watching as they closed the casket and lowered him into the ground. Once everyone left, I approached the freshly overturned patch of earth in which Hal would rest forever. I spent a few minutes in silence, unsure what to say.

“Why are humans so fragile Hal?” I finally spoke, as if the inanimate marble stone resting above his head would respond. His name was sprawled across neatly in curling letters. If Hal had been standing next to me, he would have probably said something profound.

“To leave room for the future generations of humans. The ones who will create more beautiful things to add to this world.” It could have been Hal that said it. It seemed exactly something he would say. But the ethereal voice came from behind. I turned around only to be captivated by the android standing in front of me. Long brown hair pulled to one side, except for a single blonde dread falling in front of her ear. Ornamented with jewelry and rhinestones, blue light glowing vibrantly on her temple.

“You seem like you’re having a rough day also, would you like to get a coffee with me?” The voice asked. I shook my head slightly in confusion.

“Coffee?” I repeated. “I don’t, no, we don’t need coffee. Were androids?” It came out more as a question than a statement of fact.

“Yes, but sometimes it’s just nice to sit and talk in a small café. It feels… natural. I’m Charlotte by the way. Who are you?” She held out her hand and, albeit still confused, I took her hand in my own and shook it.

“I am Cypher.”

Thankyou for reading! If you enjoyed my story, please consider dropping a heart, sharing to social media, or reading any of the other stories listed below.

The Cream Owl Butterfly-

• https://vocal.media/humans/the-cream-owl-butterfly-

I am, chapter 2

• https://vocal.media/futurism/i-am-fx9p50iod

Spores-

• https://vocal.media/fiction/spores