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Don't Be Shy Of Your Shadow

How To Uncover & Integrate Spiritual Pain With Lillith & Chiron.

By Jasmine WolfePublished 3 years ago 18 min read
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Image by: ollomy via iStock

There Are Two Dark Influences That Need Confronting: Lillith, our demonic moon, and Chiron, our centaur planet

My Grandmother studied astrology decades before we could get a quick read online. Her valuable advice has gotten me through the darkest years of my life. And the one thing I would ask of anyone is to take a deeper look at the darker sides of their natal charts.

We all know our star signs. It's nice to read what our top ten best and worst traits may be. I'm a Taurus, so I can either be the second mouse that gets the cheese or too stubborn to get out of my rut.

But, our star signs are the very tip of a very large iceberg. Star signs, and rising signs, may say what we are capable of and what we can achieve with positive energies. But, very few of us study what might lie in our shadows. What is making us fall again and again?

Our Inner Dark Moon: Lillith, Mother Of All Demons

Image by: Jasmine Wolfe

Most of us have learned Eve is Adam's first wife. But, in some mythology the first wife of Adam was Lillith.

God had created Adam out of the earth and Lillith out of the mud. Demonic forces wanted to latch onto these first souls. So, as God breathed life into Adam and Lillith, it was Lillith who sacrificed herself to take in all the evil.

John Collier. 1887. Lillith.

From the first creation, Lillith was in a power struggle with Adam. Her sins all depend on society's definition of what a 'bad' woman is. Lillith refused to acknowledge Adam was superior to her. She refused to lie beneath him. She refused to bear his children. Eventually, she tired of the power struggle and ran away from her marriage.

God sent angels to return her to Adam but the struggle was so violent that Lillith tore to pieces. Tainted with evil, her soul went to Hell, where she vowed to forever torment Adam's descendants.

The hour of our birth determines where to find Lillith's curse in our natal chart. Unfortunately, knowledge to overcome our inner demons is hard to come by. Few astrologists study her influences. But, in overcoming any hurdle, self-awareness, and patience can teach us a lot.

Our Inner Sage: Chiron, The Wounded Healer

Image by: Luisrftc via iStock

Chiron is the patron saint of Astrology. He is the first astrologer and a great teacher and healer. He was the mentor of many ancient Greek heroes and he is our teacher and healer as well. Through Chiron's teachings, we all become heroes of our own narrative.

Chiron was born a centaur. Saturn, his father, disguised himself as a horse to seduce (rape) Phylria, his sea-nymph mother. And Chiron was born as a secret, a creature of both horse and man, within a cave where Phylria abandoned him.

Chiron. Public domain image via Wiki Commons

Half-God, and half-mortal, he couldn't die. He became a great warrior who learned how to heal. Abandoned, he fostered unwanted children. Living a hermit he taught healing practices to benefit his fellow man.

Chiron, a great healer, had a legendary wound in his thigh which could not heal. This wound was his own fault. Though Heracles is the shooter, the arrow and its poisonous tip was Chiron's creation. The wound would never heal and it caused Chiron great pain.

When Heracles was completing his Twelve Labors he had an opportunity to release Prometheus from his prison. Jupiter, King of the Gods, agreed to Prometheus' release only if another immortal took his place. Heracles asked Chiron.

When Chiron descended into the underworld to take Prometheus' place the wound in the leg no longer pained him. Some say it finally healed. Because Heracles had been the cause of the wound and in requesting Chiron take Prometheus' burden, Heracles became the healer of the wound.

The lesson from this story is we all have a spiritual wound that cannot heal. We worsen our own pain. The only way to heal the wound is to descend into the underworld of our subconscious and heal the wound by its cause. Sometimes by sharing the burden of others.

We Don't Heal By Ourselves

No one is alone in this world even in times of our greatest isolation. And we don't heal only ourselves. When we heal we lead by example and teach others how to heal their own spiritual pain.

Chiron's sigil resembles a key. Think of a skeleton key to access inner spiritual pain. Chiron's sigil will sit under a specific sign in your natal chart. Each sign has a specific deity to rule it, so Chiron's sigil shows you which God has especially hurt you. And what you can do to overcome it.

How To Find The Darkness In Ourselves

For those brand new to natal charts, you will need to know the day, hour, and place of your birth. Don't rely on memory. Read your birth certificate.

Do not worry if you cannot get a hold of your birth certificate. You may instinctively know your shadow already. Ask friends and family which signs describe you the best.

You can get a quick natal chart through Astro.com. If you don't know what you are doing you can choose the default settings to generate your chart until you know a little bit more.

Chiron ought to show up in your chart. But finding Lillith might be trickier. She is more hidden, but you can find her, here.

Which God Has Wounded You?

REMEMBER: You are looking at the sign Lillith and Chiron appear under. You may have different signs for each of them. This is not your star or rising sign.

Aries

Lillith's curse creates shame in self-asserting yourself or trying to take the lead without permission. You avoid all people with Aries traits.

Mars, the God of War, has touched you with the wound of having to stand up for yourself. Chiron's key under Aries implies a lack of self-confidence and you often wonder "who am I?"

The God of War has given you a physical or emotional handicap. And it is harder for you to engage in fierce competition, 'get over' words of anger or escape violence.

To overcome Mars is to heal your confidence. If you have a physicial handicap you can help engage others in more friendly competition. Or, change the rules of the competition to be fairer.

If this is a more emotional pain you can volunteer to help other abuse victims. Or, help out civilian initiatives to prevent crime in your community.

Either way, think of yourself as a soldier who needs to fight for yourself and serve to protect others.

Taurus

Lillith's curse creates shame from all your material items. You feel guilt from hoarding then guilt in purging.

By Mallory Johndrow on Unsplash

Venus, the Goddess of Love, has attacked your value system. And your feelings of worthiness to feel love. Chiron's key under Taurus implies you may be demanding others to love you in ways that cannot fulfill you.

The Goddess of Love in your life has taught you materialism is superior to affection. And your affections were always lacking, anyway. So you are either drawn to a life of survivalism where people and objects are only worthy if they are useful. Or, drawn to a materialistic life where you know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

To overcome Venus is to heal our hearts through nourishing the soul. Try gardening, leave materialism for nature. If you cannot garden then try learning to nourish yourself and others through food. Love is not expressed through bought gifts, but from what you create. If you learn to manage your finances then offer to teach money management in your community.

Gemini

Lillith's curse creates shame in speaking too much or too little. You avoid social butterflies who brag about how intelligent they are. Self-acceptance is key.

Mercury, Messenger of the Gods, has seized your tongue and disrupted incoming messages. Either he has tried to quieten you with a real speech impediment or helped create a true introvert. Or, he has made words such a painful experience you don't want to communicate with the world. And you hurt even more in self-imposed isolation.

The God of Mercury in your life has taught you "children are seen and not heard". He has made you think you're crazy sometimes. Especially when repeating unexpressed thoughts has made you feel mentally unwell.

Overcoming the Messenger of the Gods is to persist in speaking out for yourself and others. Start with self-talk and affirmations. Speak to others about the importance of changing the inner narrative. Learn speech-therapy with the mind to teach others. Tackle public speaking. Sing, dictate, journal, and advocate for others to speak for themselves too.

Cancer

Lillith's curse causes shame with feeling needy of another person, and angry with someone else needing you.

By Mark Tegethoff on Unsplash

The Moon Goddess. In many cultures the Moon is female. In Astrology she represents our mothers and wives (even in a same-sex relationship). Chiron's key under the sign of Cancer shows a need to unlock our unhealthy feelings towards our mothers.

It can be an actual mother, or it may represent the 'lesser' parent in your household. A quieter man in a heterosexual coupling, or the quieter partner in a same-sex coupling.

It is the individual (either male or female) who can create us and destroy us. Who smothers and abandons. Who links us to a family lineage we do not particularly want to be born to. Or, the Moon Goddess has physically denied you the opportunity to become a parent. Denied you to express your maternal feelings.

The Goddess' wound has taught you the world isn't quite safe. Love and parental protection wax and wane. It may be difficult to bond with your partner, or you are often accused of being too needy, there is no in between.

Mother thyself. Love thyself. Care for yourself and then others. Provide the stability of a parent you missed by becoming a Big Brother/Sister. Help to put food on the table at your local shelter. Support nurses and social workers who seek to heal, nurture and protect their charges.

Leo

Lillith's curse causes shame in calling special attention to yourself. You may be feeling uncomfortable entering competitions (even Vocal's competitions). And you dislike overly competitive people.

By Daoudi Aissa on Unsplash

The Sun God. In many cultures, the Sun is male and the stronger counterpart of the moon. But, the sun does not represent our fathers and husbands as the moon does, the sun represents our egos.

The Sun God has wounded our egos either by covering up our light or pretending we shine brighter than we do. Either we show no pride in our creative endeavors, or our hubris leads to angering other gods.

The pain the Sun God causes is through unbalancing how you see yourself in the world. You may be the most normal person to live on the face of the earth. But the Sun God tells you a story of how you go unrecognized for your brilliance.

You may be the undiscovered talent someone is searching for. But the Sun God causes your pain by clouding your creativity. Or removing your confidence to show yourself in the spotlight.

To overcome the Sun God is to listen to constructive criticism. Remove the ego from your writing or your work accomplishments. Say to yourself: it is what it is. And listen to what others have to say.

Find self-confidence in your abilities to teach others what you know. If you already teach, then teach others to try and surpass you. If you're too serious about producing a creation to sell then let it go and relearn how to play. Share the spotlight with others.

Virgo

Lillith's curse causes shame in your compulsion to delve into details. You go to extraordinary lengths to prove you're not worried or eager to please. You won't reveal the hours you spent writing the perfect Vocal article!

Mercury, Messenger of the Gods, afflicts Virgo as he afflicts Gemini. But, where Mercury hurts Gemini's ability to speak out, here he has ramped up Virgo's mind. Drowning their ability to process inner messages for the self. And burying incoming communications from others. "You Virgos can feel your own blood flow," is Chiron's observation on Virgo.

Growing up as a sensitive person, the Messenger of the Gods in your life could have convinced you you were crazy. Or, loved to point out how you are often your own worst enemy. You speak first and think later. An over-reactor. You're not crazy and you react exactly with the same measure of pain inflicted on you.

Learn how to communicate with yourself through holistic practices. Meditation will force you to slow down and let the mind flow. Try walking meditations. Try Yoga.

Try any practice which encourages the hyped-up mental energy to balance and flow. Writing will help. Join others and listen to their lessons. Your community will enjoy your holistic teachings.

Libra

Lillith's curse is to create shame through needing companionship or seeking the approval of others. You are worried people will think you're overly dependant.

By Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

Venus, the Goddess of Love, afflicts Taurus as she afflicts Libra. But, where Venus hurts Taurus' ability to receive love, here she hurts Libra's ability to balance and judge inner self-care with the world. Venus demands why you get to take a 'personal day' when so many are going without!

The Goddess of Love in your life has taught you love is giving, and giving, and giving. Until you don't know who you are anymore. She has taught you what the ideal relationship is without showing you how to meet it. You keep running into relationships where you are not good enough for them or they are not right for you.

Remember to apply the Libra scales when you are overcoming Venus. Place yourself on one scale, and your partner on the other. Aim for balance. And don't assume you know what the ideal relationship is - you need to ask your partner what the expectations are.

Apply the same technique to your family, creative endeavors, or work. In what areas are you giving too much, or trying to reach milestones that you've made up in your head? How are you restoring inner balance and self-love? Your message to your community is "I've been there. I know how hard it is. You don't have to go at it alone."

Scorpio

Lillith's curse creates shame in your need for intimacy and deep contact. Yet you get uncomfortable with those who develop these bonds easily.

By Kelsey Dody on Unsplash

The God of War and the God of the Underworld. Both Mars and Pluto are out to hurt the Scorpio. Chiron's key unlocks pain and gains in the spheres of sex, power, and the struggle of life and death. Nothing less than a journey through Hell is in store for you.

The God of War has taught the Aries person power lies in bullying, abuse, and violence. Here, Mars teaches Scorpio power lies in more persuasive tactics in one's sexuality and sex-life. Aries learns the fight but Scorpio learns the strategy. There was even a powerplay in your conception or birth.

The God of the Underworld in your life has taken what you hold most dear. A parent died or a parent's touch is like death. Life and death play out as extremes in your life. You are either a monk or a sex addict. Stone-cold sober or a drunk. The stakes of life and death are high and you love the drama of it all.

To overcome both Mars and Pluto you will need to experience the pain of utter loss. Complete powerlessness. Complete blame of your sexuality or how you conduct your sex life. Complete loss of the self in a relationship. You will die, be cut apart in the autopsy, yet will find spiritual wholeness in the afterlife.

By Jr Korpa on Unsplash

Remember, when you are going through Hell - keep going!

You are the tour guide to help others travel through the underworld, their subconscious, and their manifested fears. Teach others how they lost their powers and how to regain them. Teach them so they will never lose their personal power again.

Sagittarius

Lillith's curse creates shame in your desire to ask questions. You hide how curious you are. You think you should never question authority.

Jupiter, the King of the Gods, wounds Sagittarius' belief system and their sense of life's meaning. Your feelings of apathy make up your unhealing wound.

The Sagittarius will never overcome the King of Gods, there is no room in the hierarchy. What the Sagittarius needs to do is find a way to be part of the pantheon. Get your head out of the clouds and try a (safe) sport. Be a court jester.

A Sagittarius will serve their community well once they recognize they make more effective (and famous) mentors.

Capricorn

Lillith's curse makes you ashamed of your ambitions. And you avoid people who believe success status is shown off through materialism.

By Dave Ruck on Unsplash

Saturn, the Ol' Devil, afflicts the father-figure in your life. Either Saturn caused him to abandon you or he is distant and cold. Either way, the father-figure has failed to protect you in some way.

The father-figure represented by Saturn can have different forms. It can be the straightforward man-of-the-house type of father. It can be the more masculine partner in a same-sex coupling. The father-figure can also be a representation of God. Or a patriarchal organization like a place of worship or politics.

A Chiron key under Capricorn unlocks the need to be a father to yourself. Love thyself. Care for thyself, and then others. Be the father (regardless of your gender) you wished you had, to your kids. Learn to become the protectorate and the provider of the most vulnerable members of your community.

Aquarius

Lillith's curse makes you feel ashamed for wanting to be part of a group. For needing community. And you are cautious of other people who also need to be part of a crowd.

The Ol' Devil and Father Sky. Saturn and Uranus have combined forces to afflict the Aquarius person. Yet, each force pulls you in an opposite direction. These Gods want you to feel alien amongst the regular humans.

You may have a mixed heritage. There are two worlds which you may bridge but never belong wholly to one or the other. But, being an outsider has given you an outsider's perspective. You can see the big picture when it comes to human destiny.

Stop criticizing society and find a way to join your community. Use your mental powers to find a practical job to help others. You are a reformer and harmonizer of many worlds.

Pisces

Lillith's curse may make you ashamed of your spiritual side, or for being compassionate and empathetic for others. You might actually be impatient with people who like to resist labels.

By Jake Weirick on Unsplash

The King of the Gods and God of the Seas. Jupiter and Neptune have combined forces to afflict Chiron under Pisces. Chiron asks you to identify what makes you unique, yet Neptune has you in his oceans. You can't distinguish your individual self from the sea of people. And you have no idea how to help others.

Chiron is up-side-down under Pisces. In every other sign the Gods inflict pain and Chiron offers solace and healing. Under Pisces, the Gods offer an escape from life's pain whereas Chiron asks you to confront harsh reality.

Neptune is the stoner planet of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Or, the type of ecstasy felt through intense spiritual experiences. And Jupiter's influence is to 'go big or go home'. But how long can the party last?

But it is also the fault of the Gods you feel you need to escape life's pain. Perhaps you had an intense spiritual experience too young in your life. Or someone close to you violated your intimate boundaries.

To overcome these Gods you will need to refuse their pleasurable gifts. Come back down to all the pain on earth. And your gifts to your community will be to teach a more wholesome expression to spiritual splendor. Play music to lift the spirits, dance, write poetry. Help others explore their literal and figurative dreams.

Nothing Worthwhile Is Ever Easy

Identifying our darkness is easier than accepting it, integrating it, and healing through it. The spiritual lessons come up again and again throughout our lives, even gaining in strength and intensity. But, the struggles are worthwhile.

After you have identified your wound it is a suggestion you buy detailed books. Books on Chiron and all the individual planets/Gods which influence you. Above is only a taste of what it can all mean.

Thank you. If you liked this article please show for appreciation and share via Twitter. You can follow me @aujasminewolfe for new stories.

astronomy
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About the Creator

Jasmine Wolfe

Australian Weird Fiction Author

Twitter & Instagram

jasminewolfefiction.blogspot.com

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