Call Us Back to This Place Without a Cause
The place of a thousand owls.
06 August 2009 - Thursday - Journal Entry 9:02 pm
I thought it would be a good idea to start recording my day down here in this journal. I heard that journaling helps people with anxiety and can maybe help me understand my emotions better. I plan to also doodle a bit in here. I feel it will help me express myself better. This journaling thing will probably also help me with discipline as I plan to journal every night right before bed.
07 August 2009 - Friday - Journal Entry 9:30 pm
I moved a few weeks ago to the countryside of my state. The move was sort of unexpected and impulsive but I felt moved to leave and so I did. It felt so good to take action toward something that I actually have been desiring for a while. I just feel like there is more for me to experience in this life than what I was allowing myself to experience back at my old home. I was way too settled and complacent.
Now I am living in a little home with one bedroom, one bathroom, and one floor. There's not much space but it is enough and I feel right at home. There's no confusion here. It's quiet and I see the same cars pass by day after day in the distance like perfect clockwork. The mailman stops by at exactly 1:15 pm each day. The predictability of this place is most comforting to me. The most incredible time of day here though is during sunrise. The air is so crisp and sweet, and the new day makes me feel like it's a new life.
But it isn't all good here.
There's a creepy aspect to it.
The doors creek a little bit because they're old. And there's a large crack in one of the living room windows which causes an uncomfortable draft to seep in in the evening. But the creepiest thing by far is what happens in my yard.
In my yard, there's a huge oak tree that stands about 100 feet in the air. And sometimes, not all times, but sometimes I see this strange bird suspended in the air right next to the tree. I believe it's an owl, a barn owl. I hear it screech sometimes and the sound it produces is one of strangeness and hostility. Or perhaps those are the feelings it evokes within me at least.
Last night, I got a good look at the owl. It's kind of cute actually in a creepy, ominous kind of way. I feel a calling to study the bird a bit but I'm not entirely sure of when it will return. So I'll wait...
08 August 2009 - Saturday - Journal Entry 9:27 pm
Today was an average day. I had a good breakfast and worked for a few hours at a time. I watched the mailman stop by and place two pieces of mail in my mailbox at 1:15 this afternoon. But when I went out an hour later to retrieve the mail, there wasn't any. I thought it was strange but perhaps the mailman had made a mistake and placed the mail in the wrong box. He must've corrected his mistake while I was working.
Before I knew it, it was 7 pm and I had found myself waking up on the living room couch. I accidentally fell asleep there while watching an old western movie after I had eaten dinner. The draft from that one cracked window had woken me up. I walked to my bedroom to grab a blanket and from my bedroom window, I could see that owl again. This time it was silent and staring right back at me. I studied it for a few seconds. I felt strongly compelled to go to the yard and get a closer look at the owl but then I just decided against it. I walked to my bedroom window and drew the curtains shut. But immediately after, I heard the owl begin to screech again. I glanced at my clock on the wall and noticed that it was 7:15 pm. A thought popped into my head suddenly after that. I wondered if the appearance of the owl ran on a schedule just like all the other things around here.
9 August 2009 - Sunday - Journal Entry - 10:57 pm
The strangest thing happened today and I still feel so shocked and thrown off. The day went mostly as I planned. I did my work and I completed everything on my task lists. It's Sunday, and usually, I relax on Sundays so I got all my work out of the way early. It's a routine of mine to watch a series or movie after working to relax. And so I began watching a movie called Orfeu Negro that I really enjoyed the first half of but by the second half of the movie I was fast asleep again. This is becoming a normal occurrence but what I was woken up to isn't normal at all.
I felt the draft coming through from my living room window again and heard a high dismal screech that woke me directly up from my sleep. I looked immediately toward the direction of the startling sound and I saw the owl directly in front of my cracked living room window. I fell to the floor in fear. The owl stood screeching for 3 minutes straight and then went silent. A quick glance at the clock revealed to me that it was 7:18 pm. After a few moments, I gained the bravery to go into my yard and greet the owl. I thought it wanted my attention for some reason.
I walked out into the yard and the owl immediately turned its head to me. I looked it in the eye and felt compelled to ask, "What do you need to show me?" It purred for a few seconds and came charging at me. I ducked down and closed my eyes in fear. Suddenly I felt pressure on my arm and opened my eyes to see the owl perched innocently on my left arm. I laughed at my own hysterics and gently pet the owl. It was so soft and slightly adorable. I turned my attention to the moon briefly as it is so bright tonight. I took a few deep breaths of fresh air and relaxed for a few moments.
I then decided to head back into the house. But I was stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a man inside of my house. He was looking directly at me from the cracked window in the living room with an owl on his left arm. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I started to hyperventilate and both owls began to screech unbearably loud. The unknown man and I both shuttered uncomfortably, followed by me shutting my eyes for a few seconds. When I reopened them, it was silent, there were no owls in sight, and the strange man had seemed to disappear. I could feel the complete absence of every living being with the exception of myself.
At first, I was completely terrified but as I am writing this right now, I feel a strange sense of calmness. I'm not really sure what I saw tonight but I feel like it won't be the last time... I await eagerly for the next time.
10 August 2009 - Monday - Joural Entry - 11:01pm
At 7:oo pm today I prepared myself for the owl's appearance. I grabbed my flash light and I prepared mentally for whatever I would experience today. As I slept last night, I had a dream. In the dream, I was sitting in my yard enjoying a sunny day and then the sky suddenly blackened and filled with hundreds of mirrors. And in the mirrors, I could see myself, my house, and that owl in each mirror but in every mirror, things were slightly distorted. Like in some mirrors I was upside down or everything was inverted. In one mirror, the one that grabbed my attention the most, I would do something that I didn't yet do in real life but because of some strange occurrence, I would eventually end up also performing that action. It was like effect and then cause, instead of cause and then effect. It was such a creepy dream but based on what I experienced today, it was completely telling.
You see, at 7:15 pm, like clockwork that owl started screeching right outside my cracked living room window. I went into the yard and it took its place on my left arm. I then faced my home and intently stared at it, waiting for the strange owl man to appear. And a few moments later, I watched him materialize right before my eyes. He stood in front of my living room window staring back at me. An owl was resting on his left arm again. I slowly approached him as he stood completely still. A few moments later, we were standing face to face with only the cracked window separating us.
Before I could say anything he greeted me with a very casual "Hello". I gently nodded at him, so thrown off by what I was experiencing. And after a few moments of very strange silence and uncomfortable staring, I asked him, "Where'd you come from?". He chuckled a bit and replied, "Well, I could ask you the same thing. This is my second time seeing you in my yard."
I stared at him in utter disbelief and then uttered,
"No, this is my home. I moved here a few weeks ago. I started noticing this weird owl out in my yard. I followed it and now I am in front of you. And I am very confused."
He stared blankly at me for a few moments and then proceeded to simply say, "Oh, I see."
I was absolutely shocked at his seeming nonchalance.
He continued, "There's a legend around here. It has something to do with the time sequence and the owls around here."
I continued to look at him in confusion until he spoke again. "This town is like a giant clock, you see. Everything is very particular and in order as I'm sure you've noticed. The owls are like the time keepers of this place as this once was occupied by only them. There are, of course, exceptions to this rule of order, if the owls sense the equilibrium of the town is off in any way, they then open up the portal."
"Equilibrium? Portal?", I queried.
"Yeah. The owls want to live in perfect harmony. If the owls feel that there is something "off", then they open up the portal for the ones throwing things off. Essentially the portal connects separate worlds in which the time sequence differs. You must be from a different time-sequenced world than I am.", he stated.
"I live a normal life where time simply passes. The night follows the day and there's really nothing else to it. So I don't really know what you're talking about.", I told him.
He stared at me for a few moments while we stood in silence.
He then raised his right hand to his forehead and pointed at a scar just above his left eyebrow. "You see this scar? I don't know where it came from but I will found out soon when the cause is revealed to me. The world I know works in that way: effect followed by cause. There have been times where I would be feeling so happy and then seemingly out of nowhere, I'd get an overwhelming sensation of heartbreak. I would wait in sheer agony and panic until I finally found out why I was feeling such heartbreak. I can't even imagine for a second knowing the cause first and then dealing with the effect. It's so foreign to me."
I then remembered the strange dream I had and stayed silent in disbelief. I tried to wrap my mind around the mechanics of such a world and as I am writing this my brain is still firing off a million questions at once.
He watched as I probably looked like I was going to lose it and said, "Don't rack your brain too hard about the time thing. In my world, we know about other time sequences. We study it in school. Though many people don't experience it, we are still aware."
I nodded, "Yeah, this is the first time I'm hearing about this and I feel so thrown off. I did have a dream about an effect followed by a cause world just last night. It was odd."
He smiled at me a bit. "A premonition of our meeting, perhaps."
"Yes, that's the way it seems", I replied with a smile back.
I don't know what it was exactly. But I felt so calm after he said that. I know that all of this sounds so crazy but I really felt at ease with the situation and with him.
"I just wonder what exactly threw off the equilibrium... What about you is off? What about me is off?", he queried while looking toward the ground. He then shot his eyes directly at me in an intense manner. "Why'd you move here? Are you... running from something?"
Before I could answer, the owls began to screech and I watched as the man and the owls faded away.
Am I running from something?
11 August 2009 - Tuesday - Journal Entry - 11:39 pm
I couldn't focus on any of my tasks today. I just wanted to speak with him again. Last night, I dreamt of him. The dream felt like it was 3 years long. I had gotten to know him so well in the dream, I feel so well acquainted with him without true reason. Without a true cause.
At 7:15 I was in the yard facing my living room window, waiting to see him again. And sure enough, the owl found its way to my arm and after a few moments of screeching, I watched him appear before my eyes.
We smiled together for a few seconds before he broke his smile by saying, "Hi", to which I replied with a calm "Hey."
"I'm sorry we were interrupted again. It seems to keep happening after some time. It seems our time is limited.", he stated.
I nodded gently.
He smiled at me again. "So, did you give any thought to what I was asking before?"
"Yeah, I uh... don't feel like I am running from anything. But... I do feel this sensation of longing but I'm not sure what for."
He chuckled a bit. "Seems like you belong in the world I live in."
We laughed in unison.
I stepped a bit closer to the window, "I was wondering...since you experience the effect before the cause, what were the feelings you had leading up to our meeting?"
I watched him think about it for a few moments. "Expectancy. I expected you. And in some ways... I was missing you."
Suddenly I felt the desire to be closer to him. The owl from my left arm then darted into the window and shattered the glass between us. I watched the man cover his face with his arms but a sharp shard of glass cut the uncovered portion of his face: right above his left eyebrow where the scar had been.
I watched everything unfold in shock.
After everything was settled, I watched him hop out of the now shattered window and approach me. The owls fled and we were standing face to face. The cut above his eyebrow was bleeding a little bit.
I felt completely overwhelmed about everything that has happened, about the dream I had of him and me that felt so real, and about feeling so close to him already.
He then unexpectedly pulled me into a hug. The longing that I had been feeling immediately came to a sudden halt and I felt so sure of my place in the world. I then heard the screeches of what seemed to be a thousand owls. Perhaps they are signaling that the equilibrium has been restored.