Accept Cookies

When I first began talking to my daughter’s father in 2012, he was flirting with a handful of women.  When I asked why he chose me, he said I was the only one who texted in complete sentences. You will never catch me slipping with an abbreviation, “U up?”  I cannot stand the idea of my thoughts being written out superfluously for the sake of seconds.  I got my first cell phone in 2004.  My mother insisted on it because my college boyfriend lived in Ohio, and she did not want to pay long-distance charges for me to talk to him all summer.  I was 19.

In the 22 years since, I have become addicted, addled, and adulterated by this device.

Last text received: 63859 8/7 7:25 PM
Forme: Game Changing.  Literally.

Last text sent: Jayson Weihs 8/7 6:25 PM
Watching scary movies and trying to write another vocal story.

Last e-mail received: 8/7 7:59 PM
Urgent::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Your social security stimulus: PENDING.
Addressed to Fabio.  My son’s dad.  He is missing.  It might be on purpose.

 Last e-mail sent:  Jayson Weihs 8/7 5:32 PM
Target card: 53.73

Last Book Read: 1/31/26 And Then There Were None: Goodreads, One Star

Last Note recorded: 7/20
“Like the kind of woman whose emotions are facts.”
Typed out while listening to Lena Dunham's memoir, "Famesick".

Last App used: 8/7
Jimmy John’s.  $112.36.  

Last App downloaded: 8/3
Teams.  On vacation.

Last Teams notification: 8/5
Becca: Here is the unicorn background.

Last text from a friend: 8/6
Rachel: And that is why we are fucking awesome.

Last text from the last man who told me he loved me: 8/7
Noooiice

Last time I saw a friend:
Rachel, June, exact date unknown
(Deleted texts after canceling on 7/9, 7/11, 7/14)

Last phone call made: 8/7
Mae, daughter.  Called to tell her to come down for dinner. (52 seconds)

Last phone call received: 8/4
1-877-629-2983
6-digit code to verify your identity:
963454 Your code will expire in ten minutes. (voicemail)

Last 3 notifications: 8/7
GOOGLE: Deadly fungus spreads across numerous states within healthcare facilities.
REDDIT: starbucksbaristas: Am I going to get fired?
APPLE TV: Get 20% off your first year back.  Don’t miss the new season of Ted Lasso.

Last Google search: 8/7
Can you shower when lightning is outside?

My power went out unexpectedly, not too long ago, and my battery was at 18%.  I didn’t know how I would wake up to go to work the next morning.  My alarm is on my phone.  When I want to see photos of my son as a baby, I have to log in to my deactivated Facebook account, which is tied to my college e-mail address.  I graduated in 2007.  I dated a man once, during active addiction, who told me he could find my information on the dark web and then gave me every password I had ever used.  He did not steal my identity: it is not worth much.

I like updating my iPhone to my mom’s older model each year because the camera is always nicer.  In portrait mode, it can blur everything around until my face looks like a movie star from the '40s.  I don’t know what I look like until I catch a candid, like my mother’s video of us coming down the log ride at the Mall of America: my arms looked so pale and so wide, waving victoriously.  I deleted it immediately.

I pay my medical bills on my phone and set my appointment times, and when I am worried about a bump or a bruise, I call my Mother.  She tries to FaceTime, and I hit deny.

Phone number:
646.XXX.XXXX.

But I don’t live in Manhattan.