A Horoscope for Cynical Gemini

Welcome to your season, Gemini. The flowers are blooming, the cicadas are humming, the birds are building their nests, and you look lovely today. I love what you’ve done with your hair.

I know you’ve faced unpredictability and turmoil since the last time your stars turned into view. So many heavy emotions, and you’ve never liked to slow down enough to process them. Swift Mercury guides you so you don’t have the time to stop and wonder if this will make you stronger, or retrace all the steps that got you here. That all feels frivolous when all you can do is move forward into the future now.

I know all of this because I am also a Gemini. I made the cut by only three days but I too was born under those twin stars.

Do you know the story of those twins?

The Gemini, Castor and Pollux were sons of Zeus: heroic, strong, and inseparable. But poor Castor was slain in battle and Pollux left to plead to the gods for the life of his brother. The two were granted immortality, but only if they spent half the year in the arms of a spiraling galaxy.

Pollux agreed and the two ascended into the deep, blue sky. There they brought good fortune to sailors, but only when the two stars shine together.

We are tied by this astrological sign, Gemini. I know I’ve been having a terrible year, which means you must be too. So how comforting it is to feel that the twins look upon you (yes, you specifically) with kindness and good fortune. If you believe there is such a thing as good and bad luck, that is.

The winter has been unforgiving to us, Gemini. But we have awakened to see the sun rise earlier day by day, and now the seasonal gloom is lifting. Take your restless mind and go out into the night once more. Look up to those two shining stars, and if it brings you any comfort at all, tell yourself that now that they are here, they will protect you. How good it feels for someone to state that you are theirs and now is your time. You deserve that.

Happy Birthday, by the way.

You are older and more experienced than you ever have been. You’ve earned that wisdom through so much trial and error. That hard earned wisdom is something to celebrate, and the prospect of learning more is something to look forward to.

That’s something we can appreciate, regardless of how we feel about astrology and our fate being dictated by stars and ancient Greeks.

I know you didn’t come here to learn your future, Gemini. You’re far too science-minded for horoscopes. Those vague generalities never do much for you and the people who look to astrology always call you ‘two faced’ or ‘attention seeking’, anyway.

I'm going to tell you a secret, Gemini. There’s nothing this horoscope can tell you that you couldn’t have found out with a little introspection. The constellations are only lines we draw to make sense of a random array of night sky. And if you begin looking for patterns, patterns will appear.

But, listen, Gemini, slow down for a second. Relax your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Drink some water.

I’m not here to prophesize disingenuously, but I want to give you some advice.

It’s a sentimental, frivolous thing to tie your identity to the stars but doesn’t it feel nice to be a part of something bigger than yourself?

The world is complicated and if it brings you comfort to analyze patterns in the sky, revel in it. And if it doesn’t, keep seeking what does.

Stay humble, Gemini, and be patient.

Open your mind, and go forth into a new Spring ready to embrace new opportunities. I can’t promise that your luck will turn around. I won’t tell you that you’re going to find the love you deserve or come into the money you need now that the Earth has revolved into the right place. But what I can do, Gemini, is assure you that I’m here with you. If we are going to be tied together by the stars, then we have to forge the path we’ll walk side by side. Just like the mythical twins, we are at our best when we look out for each other.