You're The Story

"Well, if it's not you," a voice called out in the dark ,

"you've been trying to hide , but I see through the disguise you put on, I see through this illusion that you're keeping up and good job, but what if I told you that I saw through the deception even you yourself believed, you would call me crazy, a fool, I know. All I have to say is I know you more than you know yourself, don't believe me? Then that's up to you since you're running out of time, look around, the world is crumbling and you stand suspended in your own consciousness, in a piece of your mind trying to block out all of it, every single piece of it, why do you do these things? Why do you hide and succumb and crumble under your own weakness? Are you scared of your own potential or are you scared of your potential not being good enough?"

He added it was my own image in a cracked broken mirror talking, the world was on fire and I was here looking at a mirror in pitch darkness but the reflection seemed all too clear, the image of myself in the mirror kept going

"I stand here The Representation of what you have become but the guide to what I know you can be. You don't understand what's going on, you're dead. You have been your whole life, hiding in the shadows of the living and masking your lies with truths only for you to be satisfied with the justification of your own undoing. Do you want a story of happiness? You want a story of success but this is your story and it’s open to interpretation. What you have done and what you can do are nothing more than what you are, what you choose to be as opposed to what you let be, are just choices you let happen, why don't you understand that?"

The voice kept getting louder and louder as the reflection kept talking

"You want fiction but this world you try so desperately to live out of is your full reality, there is no in between of what you wished happened and what you wished didn't, those are not in your control, abandon them. Why do you think I'm talking to someone other than you? Listen to my words young one, I am speaking to you, yes you, I know you hear me, you think I'm not real, you think I'm imaginary and nonexistent but I'm speaking to you, stop trying to hide from this world, stop trying to hide from yourself, stop trying to run away, stop trying to stop, stop it. You are on the verge of collapse and Success but you're here questioning what your purpose or what your life is in this world, you're in two minds of the same coin. I don't understand, a failure is only a failure when they have accepted that they are a failure, you don't stop trying when you fail once, you keep going because once you accept your fate then you have accepted it. Things are not in your control and they will never be, worry not of what is not in your control, we don't have much time, we're sitting on the edge of something far greater than you can imagine and all your conformist and conservative tendencies are irrelevant to the grand scheme of things, stop trying to be like everyone else, why be a better Bob or Todd when you can be a better you. There isn't much time, there never truly is, I see you as I see as a bird trying to take flight from the nest, scared that it will fall and crash to it’s death, but what good would anything be if not the very thought of losing that same thing? The loss of it truly measures the value of a thing, but nevertheless loss isn't the only way to bring true value, I wished we had more time, more time than this"

Before the reflection could say another word, the mirror exploded, it was loud and violent, it was fierce and dangerous, it was a bang, a loud screaming and ringing in my ears and from this broken mirror in this dark room, came a dark figure, in the shape of me, it's eyes were red and shiny and it was dark like the night and it looked at me with a piercing gaze

"You will never be anything in this life" was the first sentence he said to me in its distorted deep voice, " I already smell that you know it, I smell that you've accepted it, I know you know it's true" it made it's way to me and looked me in my eyes

"Why bother playing around with disappointment when you know you're never going to make it, no matter how much you try, when are you going to understand you just can't win, I wouldn't stop you from trying, you are free to fail at your own accord, I hate it when you think you're the same as everyone else, you're a joke living a lie, a speck on this plane you call your life, what a shame you waste your time trying to disappoint yourself and then complain. How long are you going to want something so badly and never get it? How long are you going to give out love to people only never to receive it back? How long are you going to stand here and let people walk all over you? How long are you going to try to get your hopes up when you yourself know that you are never worth anything . I hate that you try to hurt yourself with this, you're a lesser person and you'll never amount to nothing, I'm not trying to discourage you, I'm telling you the truth that'll help you in the long run, if you don't have dreams, people can never crush them, if you don't have hopes they can never be shattered, if you don't expect anything you'll never be disappointed. This is no way to live, but listen to me, there is no place for you out there, because you don't belong out there, you don't have a place out there, you have no one out there, you think these people you have around you are going to be here for you, one by one they will go and one by one they will die and then you will be all alone, all alone as you always have been, all alone as you've always denied being, all alone as I know you are. "

It tilted it's head and pulled me in and hugged me, it was a cold embrace, it's words kept coming and each sinking in more deeply than the last.

"You are safe here, you can never get hurt here, you can never be destroyed here, accept your place here, that world will eat you and throw you to the side, listen to me, even if you do make it they will abandon you. Do you know what people love more than a hero? Hating and attacking the very same things they praised the hero for, forcing them to become the villain. You will become the villain because people never like becoming the villain, they will make you and then break you and then expect you to be okay with that, listen to me, that world is a terrifying place that you will never survive in, you may think I'm trying to stop you but I'm trying to save you from the cycle that comes with it, you will never survive, you can never survive, because you're you, there's nothing quite that special about you, what you can do, people can do it a million times better, someone is always going to be better than you, someone is always going to be greater than you, always. You will never be remembered, the only time they remember you is when they remember to forget you and that is if you have a chance, stop this. You are not like everyone else, you're broken and damaged and no one likes damaged goods, what do you think you have to offer that you think it's worth a damn?

You're nothing if not an insignificant statistic, you try to fight it but that is the true order of things, people like you are always meant to dream, but do you know why dreams are call dreams? Because you always wake up from them and get back to reality. "

Their words kept sinking, the embrace kept getting colder and colder, my chest started getting heavy, my soul was tired and my eyes heavy.

"Listen, many people want to achieve many things, but the twisted truth is, they give everyone a fighting chance and no chance to fight so they make them fight among themselves, how cruel is that? They set the stage for those who they want to win and let in a few people to fight, everyone wants to be at the top but there's so little space at the top for everyone, so they devise a plan, the many fighting at the bottom, keeping the ones above at the top, their fights are in vain and I'm sad to say , you're one of those who fight in vain, who fight only to keep those at the top at the top, your struggles are for them and nothing you do creates an impact, you're only wasting your time, do you think you're the only one who wants to be the best at something?

A lot more people deserve it more than you, with the same motivation. You see how you spin this wheel chasing your tails in a circle until you get tired and get to do it all over again? Do you see how your plea is just like everyone else and makes no sense?

You think you deserve more than someone because you think you deserve more than someone and you think the world owes you when in reality the world owes you nothing, with all these things and you wish to continue with your plea? What about the others?

You do not care for them, You do not care for their own hopes and dreams because at the end of the day humans are all selfish and bad and you are vile for your actions, you are the same as the ones at the top and here you are thinking you stand a chance"

Before I could respond it dispersed in the plane and was gone, everything changed in that instant, the floor became my reflection as I was brought to my knees after the black figure disappeared, I saw in my reflection a child, it was me. My reflection was the younger version of myself, I saw the reflection looking at me and then they started to cry. I wanted to ask why they were crying but no sound came out and then they pointed at me.

"Why are you doing this?"

They asked, I tried to answer but I couldn't

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"

They started to scream and yell as they asked violently

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THISSSSSSS?"

The screams were like that of a banshee and cracked the whole room which was made of glass at that instant, shattered.

I fell down slowly into an empty void, I looked down, it was dark, I stared up it was dark, I looked around it was dark, a void indeed.

I closed my eyes to feel the fall consume me and prepare to what awaited me until I heard a child s voice, it sounded like crying, I recognized it because it was mine, they kept on crying and then they said in a low tone,

" There's still a chance"

I didn't know what it meant, I didn't know where the voice came from and I didn't know what they were talking about, but the voice kept on talking, my voice as a child kept on talking

"There's still a chance you can still do this, I know, there's still a chance that this isn't all that there is, there's still a chance that we can still do better than this"

I wish there was kid, then i wouldn't be like this

"There was and you allowed it to slip by you, you can't make a mistake and think feeling bad and regretting that mistake is going to fix anything, no. You've been living like that forever and if you keep doing that over and over again then it's not going to change, no one ever made it by feeling sorry for themselves, no one ever felt sorry for themselves until their life turned out differently, you have always allowed things to go without fighting for them, you're scared of losing so you rob yourself what could have been a victory, you're so scared of finding out what could be, so you never know what could have happened, you play it all in your head, you play it all in your mind, thinking you know it all not wanting to be caught off guard, not wanting to be unprepared but in so doing, you ended up doing the quite the opposite because here you are unprepared of all of us and you were caught off guard your whole life, so what's the actual point? You've always been scared to take risks because you think they wouldn't work out. Things don't normally go the way we expect but that doesn't mean we let them go to waste, no we keep trying and trying until we get what we want or we die trying because if you sit around and do nothing, if you do nothing, nothing at all, nothing whatsoever then you have failed in the very first stage at life.

Losing is part of the winning, one can not live without the other, they co exist. Acceptance can not live without rejection, Love cannot live without hate, light cannot live without darkness. All things are together and all things are forever. The end cannot exist without the beginning and the risk cannot exist without the reward, you plague your mind with all these thoughts, all these ideals of you failing that you never see yourself winning. Accept that you are a failure, you will be a failure, accept you are successful, then you will be successful. You choose things but you never understand what you really choose and when you choose these things you choose, an opportunity presents itself to you to either break or make you and yet you fail to understand the gravity that these things have upon you, you are not trying but yet you are complaining, you are not taking steps yet you complain about not going forward, pity never built an empire and sympathy never carried a journey, it all comes down to holding your own, it all comes down to having the will or the will you have to be broken. You cannot play it safe, you try but only because of this, you do this only because of that, either you give it your all or you lose everything, there is no between and that's what you want, an in-between where in you don't fail but yet you don't succeed”

The voice was quiet, nothing but me and the fall and the thoughts that came after

Nothing was making sense anymore, well nothing ever did. You survive your whole life you keep forgetting to live, when living is not an option you forget how to be alive, so you look around and see that nothing ever matters and nothing ever will, so your place in life, your own place in everything was to be there and just sort of sit down and allow it all, no form of control whatsoever and no form of anything but the songs of broken dreams that sing a tune. The darkness kept getting colder, the silence kept getting louder, I finally reached the bottom and I hit water, it had no temperature, it was neither cold nor hot, just wet and so I was drowning weighed down by my many sins, crimes against living weighed down by everything and sinking into the despair.

It kept swallowing me up, I felt myself being eaten up by the the water or what felt like water cover me, I reached out my hand as if someone was going to reach out and save me, I kept sinking and my hand was still out, hoping someone reaches out and saves me.

No one came to save me, there I was about to be drowned in the overwhelming nature of everything. Moments later I hear a voice, I saw a figure, it resembled that of a skeleton, it was standing over the body of water, standing over me, I stopped sinking, I stopped drowning.

I was there in the water and the skeleton above me, it tilted his head and looked at me,

"Jury, Judge, Executioner" it said

What could it mean by that

" Savior and Damned"

It added, it then sat down crossing it legs, it sat there looking at me, looking at my hand.

"Your cries for help are valid, but what good does it do when only you hear them?"

It started to talk

"There is something in this world, well this broken world, life is temporary and death is forever. Do you know how fleeting and defeating that is? You can never imagine not existing no matter how hard you try, you never remember how it was before you were born, you cannot, you only remember you were alive and when you try to think of not existing and not being alive, your brain is unable to process it. You know some people like yourself never truly understand how little time they have before they just snap and go, they tend to dwell on the details of the insignificant and more times than needed they just quit on themselves all together, you cry your heart out and here you are crying out again, you tend to give yourself far little to no credit at all but that's okay, doesn't matter either way because at the end of everything, it's not going to be like you never existed, it's going to be that you never existed, you are but an atom in everything and you spend all that time self destructing.

You choose the negative and the positive and it wouldn't matter, those who have the ability to hate have a far greater ability to love, those who have the ability to be afraid have the greater ability to be courageous, those who have the ability to be weak have the greater ability to be strong. Things are both sides of the same coin, you don't get one without the other. You cry out for help but you don't know you possess the greater ability of helping yourself, of saving yourself, and yet you surrender yourself to a lesser feeling believing you to be a lesser being, you never fight back and you just accept it, the course of life is challenge, you don't have control but that doesn't mean you should let that control how you live life and accept things that are thrown your way. All these things don't matter and never will, but your human brain thrives on them and if you surrender all your life force to the negative, then that's all it will be, negativity. If you surrender to the positive, then that's what it will be, challenges come in life no matter what you choose, challenges are universal variants that affect every form of the universe and yet you surrender to a lesser feeling.

The fate of yourself is downplayed so many times by you and all you can do is just accept it, a waste of living, you are filled with a light, that you dim out aiding everything to take from you and just like that you surrender, you can save yourself from all of this, you can save yourself from everything, you could have saved yourself from everything, you could have undone your undoing but you rather self destruct and cry out for help, you do nothing to better yourself, you do nothing to help yourself the thing is the person you want to save you is always the only one who hears your cries, you. You can save yourself from all this that you've gone through and yet you don't, you don't save yourself, you choose to self destruct."

The body of water dried up around me and we were at the beach sitting in the sand and watching the water splash against themselves, the sun was shining and everything was so peaceful, I sat next to the skeleton and I turned to it, and it looked at me, even though it had no eyes, it could see me and he added to what he was saying

"These seas kill more people than you would know, but here we are enjoying it's beautiful view. This body, this stretch of water is a cemetery to many, many bodies and here we are enjoying it, a violent and dangerous entity is so beautiful, because that's what you allow yourself to see and what it shows to you. Nothing is perfect, because if it was then perfection wouldn't be perfect after all, you're allowing this bad to happen to you and not doing anything about it, one thing can be two things only you have the power to know which is which, you can self destruct or you can self preserve and that's how the case may be.”

After it said these things , I saw something like a tear come from the eyes of the skeleton, it looked at me and it pointed at the sun, and said

"Forget all that worries you, there is no middle ground of safety, you don't play it safe, you don't go half way, it's either all or nothing, I know you will do something with that"

The tear fell to the sand and everything started to disappear, this beach reality started to vanish, the beautiful blue sky, the peaceful beach and the lovely sand started to disappear, they started to fade away, they started to disintegrate, they started disappearing even the skeleton, everything went away until nothing was left and there I was left alone in the dark again, I closed my eyes and took in deep breaths and then I found myself in a hallway.

In the hallway there were paintings and I could make out some of them, they were all those who had appeared to me and spoke to me and on them were descriptions, at the end of the hallway was a doorway and I tried to make my way out to the doorway.

The first painting on the wall was that of the reflection of myself in the mirror with many cracks, and the description it read

"The Phantom of wasted potential and broken dreams"

I made my way to the second painting and it was the dark figure that looked like me with red glowing eyes and it's description read,

"Darkness, an old friend" as I passed it, I felt a cold chill that creep up my spine and I went to the third painting that had water flowing from the eyes, it was a painting of me as a child and it was crying, and it description read

"The Phantom of innocence and the broken hope of growing older"

I made my way to the last painting

The last painting was immaculate, it was bright and shiny and it was the skeleton on the beach at peace, and it's description read

"Cradle the hope till the grave"

These paintings resonated with my soul and this experience reshaped how everything was, I will forever remember them and then I made my way outside and there were people outside, and then a butler with a British accent came up to me and greeted me

"Master, good day to you."

Before I could say anything else he said

"I hope you have everything under control now because you were quite distress when you came here, I thought you were suffering of some kind but good to see you in good health now, you should stop letting every little thing get you down, and you should start taking better care of yourself master, this world is unforgiving and if you let it take you for granted like this, you'll end up living 80 in your 20's and I do say that is a distasteful life Master, so be good to yourself and please don't let things get you down under again, thank you for coming Master and hope it be well with you"

He looked me in my eyes, hugged me and wish me well on my way and he gave me a glass of wine and made me drink it, it made my body heavy and as I closed my eyes I woke up in my bed.