Wormhole

If we were to go all the way, would we return to the starting point? Or could we find ourselves exactly where we want to be?

So, let’s say we find it… Then do we create a new life parallel to our previous one? Or does everything we’ve experienced before cease to exist? Do each of our different touches have a butterfly effect, turning everything upside down?

In the damp, dark, and quite cramped space I find myself in right now, eagerly awaiting to step outside, I have plenty of time to think about these questions. They swirl around in my mind.

So, let me tell you my story.

It was one afternoon after school. My friends Ahmet and Eda and I were walking home together.

Except for Eda, our test scores hadn’t been great, but at that moment, we didn’t care. It would have been even better if Eda hadn’t kept talking about the exam questions.

As we passed by the park, relieved to have gotten rid of Eda, Ahmet and I parted ways on the steep hill ahead after promising to play ball next day.

While climbing up the hill, I noticed something strange on the straight road ahead. It was moving like a liquid inside a transparent sphere.

Curiously, I approached and reached out my hand, which suddenly disappeared into it. As I tried to pull my hand back, I found my whole body inside, and when I managed to get out, I was back at the top of the hill.

Even recalling that first moment is eerie now.

I couldn’t understand what had happened, and I desperately wanted to.

Running towards the sphere, I jumped back inside. This time, I found myself next to Ahmet.

Before realizing I had passed through the hole, at the same spot, at the same time, we were having the same conversation again. While Ahmet repeated the same nonsense, I paid him no attention this time.

I quickly climbed the hill and ran to the hole, jumping back inside.

We were by the park again, we hadn’t parted ways with Eda yet. She was still talking about the exam.

When we separated from Eda, Ahmet said, “Phew, finally got rid of her nagging,” but this time, I couldn’t enthusiastically agree with him because I wanted to get rid of Ahmet too, to be alone and think about what I had experienced.

That day, I didn’t think about going through the hole again, I didn’t have the energy to walk the same path, to climb the hill anymore.

Ignoring the hole, I walked past it and went home. But at the same time, I was eagerly awaiting the next day.

Would I relive tomorrow from the beginning, or would I go back to the moment I first entered the hole?

As soon as school was out, I rushed to the hole and jumped back inside, finding myself back at the exam of the previous day.

Thanks to Eda. For the first time, I would score 100 on a test. Of course, if I could foresee that much.

After that, I got into the habit of going through the hole every day until I was exhausted. Every day, I was going a little further back.

I went from elementary school to preschool, from preschool to daycare.

My body was shrinking gradually, but my mind was still eight years old. Still, don’t mistake me for a baby; I’m just pretending.

You can guess, I’ve had a tough life so far, but I’m still happy to have had such an adventure. But I haven’t been able to go back as much as I wanted yet.

I have four more months to come out of my mother’s womb. Then, as soon as I reach physical competence and start crawling, I’ll dive back into the hole. Let’s see what I was before I was born.

A rainbow? Rain? Butterfly? Rhino?

I’m waiting with curiosity and patience…