Wizardcraft: Excalibur

There is no comprehending the mortals of the 21st century.

They have surpassed my expectations of their species in so many ways. Yet, they are as sloven and unenthused as ever.

Advancements in their machines have brought mortals to inspiring accomplishments. Fifty years ago, they broke the stratosphere and successfully stepped on the moon, an admirable feat that succeeds my own abilities. Yet most of their technological efforts are spent on bringing visions into their dwellings.

Many of their days are spent observing other people through black monoliths. Tablets that range in size from large African lion cats to small enough to hug a pocket. Powered by lightning and controlled by mathematics, these “screens” offer them visuals of people’s pasts, presents, and even futures.

I managed to crack the code on one of these science boxes. Which is how I am documenting my disappointments in the future now. Though my callings were swiftly ignored by the mortals. Distracted as one of their more adolescent nations squabbled over its monarchy.

Some things will never change.

Mortals have been fighting with each other for control since before I can remember, hundreds of millennia ago. Being lord of the land is ever so precious to them; that and owning extravagant things.

Naïve to think they would hold true power since I have all the magic of this Earth in my possession.

I used to find such joy and humour by directly influencing the mortal’s politics. The cut of one’s stride would be enough for me to grant magnificent abilities. I gifted many conquerors with capabilities to dominate land as far as their armies could stretch.

And I would swiftly take it all away from them just to witness their expressions. Nothing will beat the days of playing with the Romans like child’s toys.

These thoughts did bring me back to the last article of magic that I did bestow upon the mortals.

Excalibur. A sword of such power it could cut stone. A gift wasted when generations of opportunity went by when they got it stuck in a rock.

Once the sword of Excalibur was the most dominant artefact in the realm. The lucky mortal to wield this weapon claimed dominance above all others, save myself. Pharaohs, emperors, kings, queens, dynasties established through ownership of one blade.

Enough that before my millennial slumber, the world knew the one who holds Excalibur should be worshipped.

That is the reason I believed that bringing it back could shift this new world in my favour once more.

It was my understanding that Excalibur was quite revered throughout history. The legend of the sword has surpassed much of the facts. However, knowledge of its powers is still commonly known.

Unfortunately, when I released Excalibur from its tomb beneath Vidöstern Lake, it was discovered by an 8-year-old.

The girl would not have been the ideal choice considering the stronger matured mortals nearby. No matter, children have held Excalibur before and been quite successful.

Equally, the girl’s excitement was appropriate over the discovery of this powerful artefact.

Nobody else seemed to pay the sword much heed. Hardly a voice was raised when the child’s sibling grabbed Excalibur from her grip. The girl would have made an impressive queen with the way she challenged her brother. Though her vigour turned to tears when he returned the sword to its watery tomb.

Another misfortune would be the magical code I infused into this tomb of a lake. By rights, the only being allowed to unlock the sword must share the blood of the one who entombed it. Meaning, I cannot retrieve Excalibur from the lake once more because of my own magical curse.

The anguish of the girl who would have conquered the entire modern world was remedied with baked treats. This child could have united the entire planet and brought peace, unity, and progress to her species.

Evenly she could have dominated by force, becoming a tyrant dripping in the blood of her enemies, serving none but me.

And she walked away while being coddled by her mother and gifted a consolation cookie.

I would abolish her weasel brother for his foolishness right now if he were not one of two people on the Earth that can retrieve Excalibur. Chances are short for that sword ever returning to daylight.

Returning to my rightful place as the most revered being to ever live will be more difficult than anticipated. The first offering of magic in a thousand years, and the mortals leave it as rubbish.

My plan of having influence over one planetary ruler has been locked away from my own grasp.

And not one singular being has acknowledged me as their all-powerful wizard lord yet.