Wishing it was Fiction

The Writer Bio

As you know, I write mostly memoirs, so you are probably sick about learning anything else about me or my family or my pets. But remember, you asked for it...lol

I will give you some random truthful expressions of myself, of which I have probably already shared:

• I like to lounge all day in my pajamas. I'm retired, so it's wonderful to be that comfortable.

• I stay to myself because at this point in my life, I have no extra space to feel the drama others have in theirs. I'm not selfish, but at this point, it's called survival.

• I have been through a LOT lately and learned more than I have ever wanted to about the meaning of grieving.

• I always wished I could sing but I can't carry a tune for anything. I do like music, but don't listen to it much.

• I have daily conversations with my oldest daughter. That is nice. My other two living children, not so much. One lives with me and we butt heads. The other child is busy with work and doesn't like to communicate by phone. She will text, but to me, it's not the same as hearing her voice. I miss the sound of my oldest son's voice so much, but I still feel the resonance of his warmth.

• I watch too much television and scroll too much. But those distractions are a welcome therapy for me. I should read more, though.

Now on to the Peacock story:

We never know how important moments are until they become distant echoes and memories. (Like the Christmas we decorated the tree and the wreath with feathers from the peacock.) Of course, the tree was artificial and hopefully the feathers were as well. But how beautiful were those purples, greens, teals, and golds when we were finished, it was absolutely magnificent.

That year Christmas was shared with my brother, both of my sons, and one of my granddaughters. We lived in Texas, so we decided to go untraditionally Christmas and just do a yummy beef brisket with all the fixings like potato salad, baked beans, and sweet rolls. For dessert there was Pecan Pie.

I have painfully searched for a picture of that tree in all the documents I can find on my computer and my phone gallery to no avail. My retrieve capability is novice unfortunately. But for sure if I am looking for something else, one is certain to pop up. I will give you a BING photo instead. Sorry!

That Christmas (with all the peacock finery) brings me to the old adage, "if we knew then what we know now." That was the last Christmas that David would spend with his youngest daughter. I pray that those memories stick in her heart. I am grateful she has them. And I'm grateful he had them with her.

This will be the first Christmas without my brother. Last year was the first without my David. I don't think I could have gotten through that day without my brother's calmness. We watched Christmas movies and laughed and cried.

My brother was big on the joys of Christmas. He always wanted stockings. And he insisted on making a nasty green bean casserole. I pretended to eat a little. I don't know what Christmas will look like this year.

To be honest, I've watched a whole lot of Peacock shows lately to get by. I love the Traitors and I'm also binging on the series, "Person of Interest." It's fascinating to see how visionary the writers were about AI. In fact, it's kind of frightening.

So, this is my recall and my thoughts in regard to a peacock!