What’s Yours is Mine Too

If walls could talk, my voice would be a megaphone, broadcasted for everyone to hear; my peeling paint my tears, the broken crowning my scars. Every part of this unit is me. Those within blur the lines between my story and theirs. Every being has its own essence. Memories are left behind and forgotten, known only by those of my kind. Yet,after so many years, it seems I’ve forgotten I had my own story to tell.

I first gained consciousness in 1954, my first family was a poor black one. The mother was a maid servant to a local white heiress. Every day drained her of life, but she would always regain it once again in front of her two small children. A little boy and a little girl close in age. Back then, it was not so safe for them. I knew nothing of what humans deemed right or wrong, but the many atrocities I had witnessed therein led to my awakening.

Her husband was abusive, a lazy drunk who only knew how to curse and belittle her. At first it didn’t bother me, but the warmth of the other three roused some sense of consciousness in me and I felt almost human. But I was just a wall. I could not cry from pain nor smile from happiness. The warmth I felt was perhaps illusory but I could not stay away. This was my structure. I was a room of walls meant to provide shelter.

Eventually, the father had succumbed to his addiction and the lovely mother cried tears of joy. It intrigued me. Humans were odd. Isn’t the passing of a loved one something full of sorrow? However, this question was never answered and soon I was left alone for a period of time.

Time was irrelevant to me because I was just a unit, a series of four walls that held its own little world. Only the sun coming and going through the clear windows indicated how many hours, days, weeks I bore witness to.

Being a wall with the consciousness of a human was a funny thing. What was the point in witnessing the private lives of humans with no mouth to speak of? I was like a God except I was trapped in the walls and never made a sound. Neither omnipotent nor omniscient, life just goes on. I was the couch, the sink, the beds, the toys. Everything held my essence because inside my walls I was King.

My domain saw many passersby throughout the years. Was it ten years or one hundred years? I had no brain to think, no eyes to see, no nose to smell, no tongue to taste, no lips to touch. Why was I here?

The next occupant was a single male, white. He had a worse temper than the drunkard before him and hurt my body every chance he got. Of course, I could not feel it but through him I learned what anger was. I wondered what made him so mad. I never saw another soul during his stay and it wasn’t long before he was gone and another took his place.

This time, a sweet old lady who loved to bake. I wasn’t sure of her age but we stayed together for a long time. With her, I gained a sense of smell. She treated me kindly and dressed me up nicely. She was a quiet woman, always alone too, but not angry. Her disposition was the complete opposite of my previous tenant. Everyday she baked and I found that gingerbread cookies were my favorite. If only I could taste them.

Despite being so sweet, it was always just her and my exposed brick. She took her time up with various hobbies to fill her loneliness. I learned that’s what kept her busy after so many years of just us. Unfortunately, just like the others, she left too.

I think it was a heart attack. Seeing her unmoving on the cold wood, it seemed her loneliness had found its place within me. How odd it was to sense these human emotions when I was just a wall. A room with walls that held the sweetest and most harsh things known to man.

Many more suns and moons crept through my windows as I experienced the lives of a few more. One single mom, a schizophrenic who spoke aloud in the air as if speaking to someone else. I liked to think he was speaking to me, but it was just a soft delusion to keep these newfound sensations at bay. Whoever allowed me to come to be must have laughed at all my musings.What use was a wall that could think? I was only meant to exist as a structure with no conscious thought and play my role as a physical object.

Alas, the end came sooner than I could have hoped. It was five years after I had seen my last owner. In that time, I tried to somehow will my voice into existence but, of course, it never happened. The time that kept me busy was now coming to an end. The humans outside had brought their loud machines and I knew I was due for extinction.

The rumbling of the cranes shook my walls, my room that had stood the test of time was now just a small piece of history meant to be replaced by something new. The claws dug into the bright window and glass shattered. For the first time I felt what I knew was fear. As that terrible metal arm tore away at my body, I pondered, Ah, so this is how I go. No more watching. If only I were human…

With the last of myself crumbling, the ever approaching darkness finally held me in its embrace. And just like that I was no more except I could now feel a physical form, a sense of self different from my previous existence. In the darkness my wispy form flowed aimlessly.

Even so, a feeling akin to sadness overcame me. Where do I go now? Time did not exist here as if a black hole had covered the skies and stole all the air. I wandered without a destination in mind, thinking of nothing and everything all at once. What was my purpose?

I sighed, wanting to quiet my mind but only I existed in this space. Expansive darkness was all around me, but then I saw the tiniest speck of light in the distance. I had no expectations, but still felt inexplicably drawn to this spark. The closer I got, the more solid my body became. The feeling was odd. As if I was a liquid that had become jelly and then solid overnight.

What could it be that pulled me closer? I did not know but that only filled me with a strange giddiness. All at once, the bright light crossed the small distance and I became enveloped in it. It swallowed me whole and spit me out.

Strange, strange. I could feel eyes opening and I saw two humans staring at me. I opened my mouth to speak but all that came out was incoherent babbling.

These two humans simply stared in awe at me and I felt like crying. So I did. The humans fussed at my crying but I could feel that bright light inside of me still. The happiness I had wished for finally found me.