Water Tower Roulette

Hey Jonny, get me another beer.

Fuck you man. Get it yourself.

Why you being such an asshole. Get me another beer.

I’m not getting ya anything. I’m not your servant.

The hell you’re not. You wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for me. So get me that goddamn beer.

I’m sick and fucking tired of ya holding that over my head all these years. It wasn’t my fault and ya know it.

The hell it wasn’t. You’re the dumbass that had to go trying to get something for nothing. And it damn near cost us everything. And if I wasn’t your big brother I woulda left you there to suffer the consequences. So get me that goddamn beer!

I ain’t doing it Jimmy. I swear. I’m fucking done taking orders from ya. Just cause ya did what ya did doesn’t mean ya own my ass forever. I’m as free as anybody else to do what I want to do and I’m done taking orders from ya.

You don’t say. Since when did you get to thinkin you can just say no to me? Cause last I checked without me you’d be fucking dead. I’m not going down this road again with you Jonny. So shut the fuck up and get me that goddamn beer!

I’ll tell ya what brother, I’ll get ya that beer, and anything else ya want for the rest of our lives, if ya can beat me up to the top of Ruby’s old water tower.

Ha, ha!! Any day, Jonny. How many times do I have to beat your ass at something before you understand I’m just better than you. Always have been. Always will be. We done raced up that tower how many fucking times in our lives and I’ve beat you every time.

Well, then, let’s go. Ya figure ya got this in the bag so step up. Let’s go!

(The screen door swings open and Jenny comes out.)

Will you two quit your goddamn bickering. There’s plenty of work to be doing around here and I don’t see any of it getting done.

Jonny and me are fixing to race up Ruby’s water tower right now so I will own his ass for life.

When the hell are you two gonna grow the fuck up? Jonny, you know you can’t beat him at anything so just give it up. Besides, if we don’t get our business handled none of us are going to make it to the end of the month.

Nah, we got our own business to tend to Jenny. Today is a new day and I’m feeling like it’s finally my turn to take ol’ Jimmy down. C’mon Jenny, just let us do it, it’ll only take a few minutes.

Yea, c’mon Jenny, it’ll feel good for me to put Jonny in his place once and for all!

You two fuckers sure know how to drive your sister crazy. You’ve been doing it our whole goddamn life. Alright. Go ahead and climb up Ruby’s water tower. But once you’ve made fools of yourselves for the millionth time, we gotta get to work on those barrels. You-know-who is coming to pick them up on Friday.

(Jonny and Jimmy walk over to the water tower.)

Since ya always beat me, I want the good side, Jimmy.

You can have whatever side you want, it ain’t gonna make a lick of difference you little fuck. And just remember, once I win, I own your ass boy. And the first thing you’ll be doing when we get back down is getting me that beer!

Ha! We’ll see Jimmy. I got a feeling today is gonna be a little different. Hey Jenny! How ‘bout ya shoot the shotgun off to get us started, it’ll be like old times!

Yeah, that sounds kinda fun actually Jonny, it’ll be good to smell a little gun smoke floating through the air around here!

(Boom! And up the water tower they go.)

Hey Jonny, you already falling behind son!

Oh, I’m just getting warmed up. Lightning in a bottle is who I am today!

Tell yourself whatever you need too. I’m just looking forward to that beer you’re gonna be serving me in about 5 minutes.

We’ll see about that!

(Just then Jimmy’s rusted ladder starts to break loose and the ladder begins to sway.)

Oh fuck! My ladder is busted Jonny! I’m losing my grip!

Hold on Jimmy! I’m gonna make my way around to ya.

No! It’s not safe. There’s to many places you could fall. Ain’t no sense in both of us meeting our maker!

Fuck you, I’m coming! Just hold on!

(Jonny starts making his way to Jimmy.)

The whole ladder is starting to come lose Jonny! I’m not gonna be able to hold on any longer. It’s just like Daddy used to say, one day your last call is gonna come, and ya never know when, or how, it’ll all go down, but you can be certain it’s a comin, cause the Grim Reaper always wins.

This ain’t your last call Jimmy! Stop talking like it is. You saved my life once, and now it’s my turn to save yours. Brothers always look out for brothers. I’m gonna reach out my hand and ya reach up and grab it on the count of three. Ok?!

Ok!

One, two, three….