Warninglabel.com

Wouldn’t falling in love be so much less scary if people came with a warning label? Seriously, can you imagine all the broken hearts that could be avoided, confidence spared from being torn down by narcissistic pigs, or energy vampires? I mean seriously how many people out there have been burned so badly by a toxic relationship that you’re in a constant battle because of your natural human desire and need for love, yet at the same time being terrified of ever loving anyone again. It is the worst pain, I have ever felt, I never want to feel that pain again. The screwed up fact about it is that love is the only way for us to have true fulfilment.

Yes, there are those out there who may say money brings them more happiness, but money runs out, no one has ever said “my cup runneth over” in regards to money. That’s only a phrase you hear in correlation with love. The human desire and need for love combined with scars from toxic relationships has many people who have a daily war within themselves everyday. The heart wanting, needing, longing for love, and the mind screaming run away, screw love, it hurts. Love is not supposed to hurt, but unfortunately painful love is what many of us experience.

I still don't get it, how could the greatest gift on Earth, simultaneously be the most destructive painful curse ever felt? I'll tell you why, because there are so many manipulative, deceitful, broken, screwed-up, insecure people out there who don't know how to love. They pretend to know, but in reality they have no clue, because they don't even know how to love themselves, they were broken early in life, and have never been able to connect with anyone on an emotional level ever since. They only know how to pretend, but sooner or later the pretending becomes too much of a task, that's when you find out that the person you fell in love with, is a monster that is going to turn your world upside down, and turn, twist and mangle the person you are, until the person you were has become a distant memory, so distant you wonder if maybe it was just a dream. If you're lucky, you'll get out with a enough of yourself in tact that you can find your way back with ease, but if you're like me, you end up so twisted and mangled that who you were, isn't even a memory. Figuring out a way to be something other than the broken mess you have become, seems like an impossible task, that you aren't even sure you're equipped to handle. That's what happens when you have no warning label.

Everything in this world that we buy comes with some sort of warning label, there a warning labels for just about everything, from carnival rides to warnings at a swimming pool or lake. So why in the world aren’t there warning labels for people. It sounds very logical in my opinion; it would balance the playing field. I mean give me a heads up that this handsome angelic looking man is really the spawn of a narcissistic Satan. It’s not like the warning label would ban a person from ever having a relationship simply because they’re toxic, hell, there’s plenty of masochists in the world that would love to play with the devil. There are also many soft hearted, fragile people out there that would be better off having a heads up that tells them to run away, fast, you must be this () strong to take on this guy.

I am one of those fools, who was fooled every single time, each time it took just a little more away from me, until there was nothing left to take. Now I am a walking, talking empty vessel. I have literally given up on life, happiness, love or anything good. I exist simply because I refuse to kill myself and I have yet to be fortunate enough to be hit by a car, bus or anything to put me out of my misery. I smile so that I don’t ruin anyone’s day with my frown, or my tears. Lord knows I am in enough agony alone that there’s no need to spread it. So, I choose to suffer in silence, I cry alone until my sentence in this hell hole has been satisfied and I can be set free. Death to me is freedom, life is prison, its hell, twenty-four hours of cruel and unusual punishment, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days a year.

Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I decided to figure out a way to create a warning label for people. Since honesty isn’t exactly humanities strongest virtue, I figured the warning label should come from someone who has lived with and knows the person. I want this to be something that is helpful, not harmful. It is not going to be a way for a jealous, spiteful person to make their ex look bad. It will be strictly fact based; it must be provable. There’s of course no way of attaching a literal label on a person, so I figured the next best thing would be to create a website. I decided I would call it “warninglabel.com”.

Everyone turns to the internet for research on everything from doing a research paper for school, sheer curiosity, and there’s even those who do background checks on potential lovers. Doing a background check is fine and great, you can obtain quite a bit of information, but do any of these background checks have a section that tells you whether or not this person is a pathological lying, narcissistic energy vampire? No, they don’t. You can look into the criminal history, but that doesn’t tell you much of anything either. Most domestic violence cases are never reported, and the worst part of domestic violence isn’t even against the law. So far there’s no law against verbal abuse, which is the most damaging abuse there is. Coming from someone who’s had a rib, nose, and cheekbone broken; I’ll take any one of those over an emotional attack any day of the week.

The psychological abuse is what debilitates people, not broken bones. Your bones heal, bruises fade, but your mind, well it’s something that should be heavily protected. As strong as our minds are, they are also weak. It's strength ultimately becomes its weakness. What only takes a short while to learn, can take a lifetime to unlearn. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I am just weak minded, I don’t know. Unfortunately, I don’t know much of anything anymore thanks to all the psychological warfare my ex-husband unleashed on me during our thirteen years together. There’s got to be at least one person in this world that can relate to what I feel, and just in case there is, this website is for them, and to protect anyone who could someday become like me from being able to relate.

So, my gift to the world before I depart, is this website. It will be public, there’s nothing to be hidden at all, anyone can access the site, anyone can look up whoever they choose to look up. It will be dependent on people being strong enough to share their story, along with their identity, and their abuser’s identity. Submissions will be reviewed and facts will be verified before the submission is published. It will be designed to show growth, and progress. For people to give testimony when they have changed, and are no longer the horrible person they once were. Everyone can change, a warning label isn’t to prevent anyone from having a relationship, it is to protect people from being deceived and driven to insanity, or worse. As I stated earlier, there are plenty of masochists in the world, having a negative warning label doesn’t mean you have no chance to date, it simply means, you have no chance to fool anyone. Until people learn to be transparent in their intentions with others, and until both male and females learn to be honest, instead of gaslighting people, this website is absolutely necessary. I just can’t stand the thought of more people in the world becoming like myself, and I know if nothing is done to prevent it, it will happen to millions more.

My fear is that if there is nothing done to prevent people from being fooled, or no way of bringing more balance to this matter, that like an infectious disease, it will continue to spread, until it has consumed every single person in the world. Imagine a world where no one trusts anyone, not even themselves.

This world is ugly enough as it stands, the fear in the world has caused a parasitic plague of hatred, sadness, and sickness so strong that all we see in every direction is war or conflict. There are still small spaces of light and love, but these spaces are becoming smaller, and fewer with every day that passes. Eventually there will be nothing left but hatred, sadness, and sickness. This will be what destroys this planet, and humanity. Climate control starts with emotional stability. We can go green all we want and stop the use of fossil fuels, we can recycle, we can take whatever measures that are recommended, but as long as the human race has the sickness of fear, fossil fuels will be the least of our worries. Saving the planet, starts with saving humans emotionally. We are all connected, all those negative feelings that come from being hurt, are not just felt on a personal level, it affects everything, and everyone. Broken hearts aren’t isolated to the person holding the heart, it is a global tragedy, you may not see the impact as clearly as you see the impact of a tsunami, or an earthquake, but aren’t the things we can’t physically see, the things that are the deadliest?

What you just finished reading was my story over a year ago. Today “warninglabel.com” is an actual website. It is a very successful website if I may say so myself. I am very proud of my baby. I can honestly say that I am in love, I feel genuinely happy, I am no longer a shell waiting for death. The website has brought me so much joy, and fulfilment. I do not profit from the website monetarily, everything is free. I don’t charge for warning labels, but the fulfilment it has brought me is truly priceless. Who would’ve thought that something I put together as a parting gift to the world, would be the one thing that gave me the peace I needed in order to heal? If you are asking yourself whether or not I am in a relationship now, the answer is no. I haven’t healed that much, the website hasn’t reached everyone in the world yet, so there’s still people out there with no warning label, and that is reason enough for me to stay single. I know there’s not one person who hasn’t been told that the "gift is in giving", or hasn’t heard “it’s better to give, than to receive.” If you haven’t ever heard that before, well you just did, and I am here to tell you that there is no greater truth. By giving this website to the world, I have been filled with so much joy, that “my cup runneth over”. This website saved me, and it saves many more every day. It is so successful that I can’t help but wonder why it was not invented sooner.

The website has grown into more than a warning label, it somehow morphed into an online support group, complete with chat therapy sessions and all. Believe it or not, we even have testimonies from people who were once narcissists. Somehow the site had such a phenomenal impact that it forced these predators to see the true reflection of themselves, they didn’t like what they saw so they changed it. I always felt that if somehow, I could force my ex-husband to see reality, instead of his fictional reality that he would change. I remember wishing that there was someway to force him to see the truth and inflict the pain on him that he inflicted on me, not to destroy him, but to destroy the evil perception that was rooted deep within him. I always pictured narcissists being under some sort of hallucinatory spell, like how you see in movies, when a character see’s a beautiful woman, but we see the evil, ugly, old hag. I would wish that there was a way to break that spell, in hopes of him changing, so I could have the man I fell in love with back, or at least have the man I was in love with not be so damn toxic to me anymore. Even if he wasn't the prince charming, he was when I met him, just to have him not be so sinister, and cruel was enough for me. See, what people fail to realize is that although that narcissist never loved you, that doesn’t change the fact that you truly loved them.

The sad reality to me is that victims lose so much more than people realize, they lose themselves, and they lose someone they were truly in love with. It simply isn’t fair, why should one person have to suffer from so much loss? To someone who has never been through it, the victim didn’t lose anything worth keeping, but to the victim, yes escaping abuse is a relief, but the person who hurt them wasn’t always abusive, there was a time before the abuse, there was a person before the evil demon showed its face, and we loved that person very dearly, why the hell else do you think we stayed and fought for so long? We were fighting for the person we loved, we weren’t staying because we loved being hurt, we stayed because love is unconditional.

Walking away from someone you love is the hardest task in the world. No matter how bad it gets, love doesn’t understand pain, or evil, it doesn’t hold grudges or keep score, it just is. So, telling your heart to let go of something it loves because it’s for your own good isn't going to magically make your heart understand, because love, real love never stops. That’s why it’s so hard to leave, and stay gone, you basically have to lie to yourself, your mind and your heart, fool yourself into believing the person you love is dead in order to move on. Otherwise, you stay caught in a never-ending cycle of leaving, then going back. As long as they can use you as supply, they will, even if they ghost you for years because they don’t need you, they will come back when they run out of supply, it’s guaranteed. Most victims will be there with door and arms wide open. There’s no escape from them for the most part.

Think about it, there aren't very many stories from victims who have escaped, and are living happy fulfilling lives all the way until their death. There are stories of people who have escaped, and are recovering. There may even be success stories of full recovery and escape, but there are ten times as many stories of almost recoveries, almost becoming strong again. Almost. This is why "warninglabel.com" is absolutely imperative. It's more than a preventative for those yet to be scarred, it's a community for those who have been hurt, and it's a way for victims to get some solace in knowing their experience wasn't in vain, that by sharing their story, they can save someone else from the same person.

Too bad this is just a made up story, well some if it was made up, a website doesn't exist, I wish it did. I wish I could invent something like that, I imagine it would be as fulfilling as I described, hopefully someone with the ability to start a website will read this and steal my idea. I wouldn't even be upset about it. I don't need credit, or notoriety. I would just love to see loyal, true hearts like mine given a fair shot, because the truth in this story is the pain I shared. I live this painful nightmare everyday. I can't figure out how to regain power over my mind, I can't figure out how to let go, even though I am fully aware that holding on is literally killing me. It's nothing I would wish on anyone, but if there was one thing I could do before it claims my life, it would be something like that website. My parting gift would be leaving behind a way to spare others from having the same fate I have. I can't be fixed, I am too far gone. It's not from lack of trying, believe me, I have relentlessly fought to try and a way back the the strong, independent, confident, beautiful woman I once was. I almost get there, almost.