Voice of a Monster

I didn’t start off as a villain. Can I really be called a bad guy if I only kill off worse bad guys? I mean, I don’t think even Mother Theresa could have argued for the men I killed. The world is certainly better off without them. Though I suppose it isn’t unreasonable to say the world might be better off without me, too. But I don’t think that’s possible anymore.

They wanted a villain. They wanted a monster they could control, but that’s the thing about monsters…. This city has been a pile of shit for as long as I can remember. Maybe I was a villain before they turned me into this. I wasn’t exactly making things better. In fact, with my job, I was perpetuating the violence and keeping the reins of the city in the hands of criminals. Maybe I’ve always been the villain, only now I look the part. Perhaps I deserved what happened to me, but so did the men that I tortured and killed.

Part of me feels like I should stay here: a forever-hidden shadow protecting the city from more crime lords and beautiful monsters. But no, I’m not a hero. I’ve never had any mistakes about that. I am the bad guy in this story, even if I am killing off worse men. It’s not for protection, it’s not out of goodness or safety for the city. It’s only out of revenge. In some ways, I think that makes me worse than them.

No, no, this will be the end of it. As soon as Angelo Marcadio is dead, that’ll be it for me. I might not be able to die… I haven’t really tested it… But I can disappear from this city and save them the trouble of having to find a way to eliminate me. That will be my final act: one moment of good intentions. Does that erase a lifetime of evil and cruelty? I doubt it.

They wanted a monster, now they are realizing how monstrous I can be. The city will continue to crumble into the shambles of violence and despair. If I’m remembered at all, I’ll only be known as a criminal, mixed in with men like Angelo Marcadio. That’ll haunt me forever, but I couldn’t expect anything less. In some ways, I might be just as bad as him. The only thing I can do is leave, hide away, and never return to this world.