Unspoken

Choking on words unspoken, they stood there in a staring contest. Not a childish one. No. One that only comes from having met a familiar stranger. The kind that makes you feel safe in the danger they bring to your life. You don’t remember who they are. Or rather, who they were. But you know their familiarity as soon as they’re near. Something all too clearly queer.

Standing there in the morning’s warm gray light staring at each other. Wondering if the other feels it too. Or is it just you. Is it just your infatuation?

She stares straight into your eyes, but only after they have raised to greet yours. She started at the floor. But you could not take your eyes off of her face. Longing for love's eternal embrace.

Feeling the wave crash over you. Did she feel it too? Or was it just you. Are you so enraptured by the feeling you get when you’re near her? When your body hears everything that her’s tells you. The way she turns to face you when you call her. The way she smiles when you walk by. The palpable pain you feel emanating from her soul when you can tell life has taken its toll on her lately.

The electric joy you feel when you two are near. Is it a voice only you can hear? Or does she hear it too?

She has too. Why else does she respond to you the way she does? Is it shared loneliness? Infatuation? Or something approaching love? Perhaps deep friendship. You wish you knew. You feel you can see right through her. In a good way. But does she feel the same as you?

You think. Hope. Wish, she does. But you’re both caught in a dance. A trance of pain and uncertainty. Do they feel about me the way I feel about them? Sitting in the car together. Every moment is as light as a feather. Like riding on clouds of heather.

Standing next to each other is an unbearable delight. Oh, the freight. Of not knowing if you're wrong or right. Trying to decipher this bodily conversation. Watching her play with her hair has you talk. Feeling yourself stand up more straight when you walk by her side. Every step a slip, slip, slide. Oh, what a ride it is to be in this conversation.

We share words, but have to mask their true intentions. Both far too scarred from life's indentions. Most only see the ones on our exterior. But you recognize the fear in her. It’s in her eyes. The pain. The pain you can read on her face. When she saw such promise in you. But then you ran her through. It was an accident. You thought she knew all about you.

Now we sit here. Near the end of our journey together. But you want nothing more than for it to continue. You want to let her in. To answer every question she has. She has the greatest energy you’ve felt in a long while. But now she must go. Will she stay in your life longer? There’s no way to know.

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