Unspoken

One day last week my boss pulled yet another late evening session. That usually meant him sitting at his desk going over the fine details of whichever case he had coming up in court the next day. Meanwhile, I was expected to quietly go through the filing cabinet pulling out the relevant files and placing them on his desk at just the right moment. We never spoke out loud during those long evenings because he saw conversation as superfluous. He knew his job and he knew that I knew mine, and that was all there was to it, or so it seemed.

Over time I had developed emotional feelings toward Edward, but I had never dared to tell him for fear of losing my job. Most of the time it was enough simply to be in his presence. But sometimes, as my hand touched the cold steel of the filing cabinet, I would feel an enormous wave of hot passionate emotion. I so desperately wanted to blurt it all out over the sound of the traffic below and tell him exactly how I felt. And sometimes, in those moments I would freeze as I tried to stare into his soul, a soul masked in the inviting scent of Musk. As if he could sense me looking at him, he would stop reading and turn to look at me with a soft kindly expression that seemed to suggest that he could read my mind. And I wondered if he was simply waiting for me to make the first move.

Deep down inside of me, I felt that Edward already knew how I felt. But like me, for whatever reason, he felt awkward about breaking the ice. But in those few moments, when he looked back and up at me, his expression changed a little, as if to say, "It's okay, I know how you feel about me, I feel it too." Or perhaps it was all in my imagination. What if I was wrong? And in those moments of doubt, I would simply give him a little loving smile that spoke more than words ever could.

The only words of advice my best girlfriend could give me were "Be very careful, if you are too sweet he will swallow you whole, if you are too sour he will spit you out." All I knew was I was madly, deeply in love with the man.

The atmosphere in the office was as thick as the traffic fumes coming up from the street below. I was on the point of saying something when a loud blaring of car horns reached a crescendo.

***

Margaret had been with me as my secretary for quite some time now. And over that time I began to feel emotions I had long ago lost touch with. It had been ten years since my acrimonious divorce and the last thing I wanted to was to get deeply involved with another woman. Yet Margaret was different. She was physically attractive, intelligent, and had a kind, caring personality. Even more attractive was the very softly seductive scent she used to habitually use around the office. The fact was that I had fallen head over heels in love with her. From the way she behaved toward me, I got the distinct impression that she too felt something for me. Sometimes, when she was retrieving files from the filing cabinet, I could feel her eyes pouring over me and I would turn my head around to look at her. She would freeze as if she had been caught out being over-familiar with her beautiful eyes. I would give her a reassuring smile, in the hope that she might feel bold enough to take our relationship one step closer. In reality, I was trying to leave the door open for her in the hope that her heart would melt right there and then. The physical distance between us was no more than two or three short steps. The emotional distance felt like it was a lot less. And yet we were both rooted to the spot as if there was an enormous, insurmountable abyss between us.

A very close friend of mine whom I confided in once asked me "How long are you going to wait before you shoot that rabbit?" All I knew was that I was madly deeply in love with the woman.

The atmosphere in the office was as thick as the traffic fumes coming up from the street below. I was on the point of saying something when a loud blaring of car horns reached a crescendo.