Unraveling the Extraordinary Within

I'm pondering the origins of it all, the moment when I became aware of my existence, attuned to my surroundings, and embarked on this journey called life. My thoughts turn to my parents within a shadowy chamber arguing. The walls adorned in a hue of green, reminiscent of a fusion between mint and olive, yet the colors barely register due to the room's subdued illumination. A fiery dispute between my mother and father, My grandparents were present, exerting immense effort to force the door open and release my sister and me. That was the last time I laid my eyes on her, My mother.

Throughout my upbringing, it was my grandmother who consistently looked after my sister and I following our parents’ separation. Growing in a household that had undergone separation wasn’t always easy. I genuinely believed that I was disliked by everyone. To add to this, we resided in a family-owned house, which belonged to my grandfather from my father's side. Financial difficulties were prevalent, leading to significant electricity debts and ultimately, a disconnection of our power supply. I couldn't quite grasp why we were the sole household on Oakmont Avenue without access to electricity.

Grandma displayed a high level of protectiveness, resulting in our limited outings and the absence of friends visiting. Consequently, I developed a somewhat antisocial demeanor. These experiences contributed to me becoming quite reserved, developing significant stage fright, and fostering a strong desire for approval from others. This led me to constantly seek validation and often be overly accommodating. Essentially, I became a people pleaser, striving for universal acceptance.

I was hesitant to draw attention or become a target, yet simultaneously, I crafted imaginary scenarios in which I held a central role, beloved by all. This made me question whether my shyness and introversion were solely a result of my upbringing. I pondered whether, had I been granted the opportunity to venture out more frequently, I might have exhibited more sociable or extroverted traits.

Even still or… better still, instead of dwelling on these thoughts, it's a wise idea to seize the remaining years and embark on a journey of self-discovery. Embracing exploration can lead to uncovering one's true identity and potential. As I matured, I began to develop a genuine fondness for the person I was evolving into. I grew more candid with myself, extended forgiveness to others, and shifted my focus towards valuing my family instead of dwelling on the pain of my parents' separation. I made an effort to establish a connection with my mother, who had relocated to a European country following the separation.

Although I attempted to direct my attention inward, an enigmatic longing persisted within me, suggesting that I might be a distinct individual altogether. My soul is undoubtedly my own, yet I experienced a disconnect from the space or world I found myself in. I felt a pull and a beckoning from someone or something beyond, as if I didn't truly belong there. High school, or as it's known in Nigeria, secondary school, passed by quite smoothly. I excelled academically, benefiting from the example set by my intelligent older sister. While I still encountered difficulties in forming friendships, I believe I made progress in nurturing and improving my relationships with others.

On a foreboding day in school, precisely during a math class where our teacher was elaborating on the concepts of differential equations, an extraordinary experience unfolded. I widened my eyes, and in that moment, I perceived it—an entity calling out to me, poised to unveil the origins of time and reminisce about the inception of life, even from my fetal beginnings.

I could distinctly hear my mother's heartbeat, sense the warmth of the day, savor the flavor of her creamy oatmeal breakfast, and a multitude of sensations I struggled to comprehend. The reverie abruptly ended with the resounding call of "Miss Ore." It then dawned on me that I had completely disconnected from the lesson being taught, lost in a world beyond the classroom.

Driven by the desire to recreate that profound sensation, I endeavored to replicate it within the confines of my home. My curiosity led me to conduct research, seeking validation that this experience wasn't merely a product of my imagination. I even engaged my mother in conversation, questioning her about the meals she consumed during her pregnancy with me. Her confirmation that oatmeal was the sole dish that eased her discomfort and cravings bolstered my conviction.

Amidst these contemplation, a thought took root: Could I potentially possess a unique ability to perceive past sensations? This internal dialogue prompted me to reflect on whether I held a distinct gift or if there was more to this phenomenon. Following that singular day, the peculiar feeling or sensation ceased to resurface. It slipped from my consciousness, and I resumed the trajectory of my life, much like any ordinary child. Eventually, I graduated from high school, earning the esteemed position of valedictorian for my graduating class.

At the age of 18, radiating youth and beauty, I stood on the cusp of vibrant life. I had successfully gained admission into one of Nigeria's premier private universities, Covenant. The wounds of my childhood, borne from the pain of my parents' separation, had finally found solace and healing.

My journey led me to forge profound connections with incredible friends who effortlessly understood me. Shedding the weight of excessive expectations, I had freed myself from the burden of being a perpetual people pleaser. I had attained a sense of ease within my own skin, finally embracing my true self. Perhaps, this was the culmination of who I was meant to be, or perhaps it was the liberation that adulthood brought.

And then, it happened once more, even more vividly than those fleeting sensations during my secondary school years. A surge of unparalleled power coursed through me, enveloping me in a profound experience. In that fleeting moment, I became attuned to an extraordinary array of human emotions, heard countless petitions, discerned the rhythm of heartbeats, and even grasped the intricate web of thoughts spanning every individual. It was as though I was privy to the most intimate aspects of humanity, extending to the very heartbeat of nature itself—the growth of plants, the struggles of trees, and the essence of their journey.

Amidst this encompassing insight, a bewildering question arose: Why me? Why was I endowed with such exceptional abilities? Shouldn't the omniscient presence of God alone encompass the ability to hear the collective voices of all creation?

Was this phenomenon a blessing or a curse?