Ung...

Things were going normal enough for Ung as the new sun climbed.

He had awoken to find fresh sky water dripping from the slimy stuff that now lined the cold rock far above his head. That was surely a sign that the death wind was coming to an end outside of his hole in the tall rock. The pile of carcasses and bitter seeds had lasted him through most of the cold moons, and he had only needed to eat bugs for the last few light times.

All in all, it had been a rather relaxing cold time this sun around the sky.

Ung began preparing for his warm moon activities -- scrounging for dung to paint the rocks with, scrounging for rocks to paint with dung, and thinking of things to paint with rocks and dung. It was hard work, but someone should do it, and many considered him to be the most not bad at it. Last moon, his mother had given him three of her own favorite dungs, and she didn’t throw those at just anybody.

But then things all changed. The first thing Ung noticed was a big bug. He knew it was a bug and not a clawed-wing because it did not swoop down and try to eat his face. He also knew because of the buzzing noise it made. Clawed-wings make a different noise, like screaming winds or the yelling of women. No, this bug made a buzzing sound, and he could hear it from very far away.

The second thing Ung noticed was that the bug carried a strange rock. Ung thought that it would make for very fine dunging, but then he worried about the bug killing him. So he decided to do something about that part by running back into his hole and hiding behind the carcasses. None of this was very unusual for warm moons, and Ung hoped the bug would just fly away with its new rock, though part of him wished for it to fly closer so he could see it better.

That is when the third thing Ung noticed happened. His wishing made it true. The bug flew into the hole, right over where Ung crouched behind the carcasses, and it spoke in some song of the gods.

“Sapient creature, this parcel is from Delta-Twenty-Nine-Alpha-Alpha-Nine-Two. Please affirm receipt.”

Ung threw a bone.

“Sapient creature, this time coordinate has been recorded for vandalism against the Grand Hegemon’s drone fleet. Further activity will result in the cancellation of your Prime Membership Benefits. Please affirm receipt.”

Ung wasn’t sure what song the bug sang, but it was more than buzzing, and that was something new. He thought back to all his moons and could only think of one other singing bug, which had turned out to just be a young clawed-wing, and it had tried to eat his face like any other. No, this was new, so he did all he could think to do. He stood tall, puffed out his chest, and said, “Ung.”

“Affirmed. Thank you, sapient creature, please enjoy your delivery, and as always, the Grand Hegemon wishes life, happiness, and singular obedience, or else.”

With that final singing, the bug dropped the rock beside the carcasses, turned around, and flew out of the hole. Ung stared after the bug, now certain that his wishing made things so, for he had wished for the bug to sing itself away, and then it had happened.

Even bugs of the gods dared not challenge him with this new power. On top of that, he had a new prize rock to display for all to see. That would go over well with mother and might even get him first choice of the new dungs. Not a bad start to the new sky. Not a bad start at all.

Ung stared at the new rock for a long time, trying to decide what it had broken off from. Something of the gods maybe? It was not round like other rocks. Instead, it had corners on all sides and seemed more like the squares of ice that sometimes broke off in the river. There were also lines on one side, as if it were split open, but not crooked like the splitting of dry wood.

It didn’t matter. A little dung could fix that right up.

He approached the rock and knelt low, bracing at the knees and hips to lift such a massive stone. He carefully placed hands on each side, then forcefully gripped with all of his might and stood up. The rock bent inward on both sides and he lifted it with ease! What more powers must he have now, Ung wondered. To lift such a large rock without so much as a popping in the groin! This power had to be shown.

Ung stepped out of the hole, awkwardly carrying the thing in front of him, and shouted for all to hear, “Ung!”

When no other men responded with the usual growling and throwing of things, he lowered his arms a bit and looked around. He caught sight of several of his brothers wrestling with something only a few throwing distances away. Then he heard the singing of what they held.

“Sapient creatures, your Prime Membership Benefits have all been canceled. Please affirm...”

The singing went on this way until his brothers disappeared over a hill and Ung could hear it no more. Ung shrugged, nearly dropping the rock, but quickly catching it and squishing it some more. Bolstered by his newfound strength, he hoisted it back to chest height, grunted, and marched toward the camp of the women.

Unlike Ung’s hole, the women's camp was well maintained. There were piles of rocks and wood, and the new carcasses were kept in the snow where they would not drip on things in the holes. Ung thought that was unnecessary, as the dripping often brought more bugs which just meant more to eat. He dared not make a motion of it when in their camp, though. The women could be unsettled easily, and he might find himself stacked in the snow with the carcasses if he wasn’t careful.

He entered the narrow path leading to the camp, making it several long strides in before he heard a shrill caterwaul coming from the cliffs high above him. He wasn't sure whether it was a woman or a clawed-wing, but it was best not to look up either way. Eyes forward, peering over the top of the god rock, he continued onward.

Rounding a corner, Ung came upon the clearing that marked the start of the camp. He reflexively crouched to avoid the thrown sharp sticks, but none came. This was more sign of his wishing power, as he had wished not to have sharp sticks thrown at him at least three times since beginning his walk. Slowly, he stood tall again and raised the square rock above his head. “Ung!”

Moments later, Ung heard bare feet on smooth stone and looked up to see many women lining the stone tops above him. They were farther away than he could throw things upward, but unfortunately, they could throw things downward much better. He had sometimes wondered at the power of the women and their sticks, but he put it out of his thinking for now, since he held the god rock, and that had their attention.

Ung decided it was time to show his new might. He lifted the rock even higher, before placing it on the ground at his feet, and wishing that the women would all like him now.

One of the women threw a stick, which flew by his ear close enough for him to feel the wind of it. That was a good sign. Not all of the women had thrown sticks, and this one had not been thrown to stab him.

After the wind of the stick passed, no other sounds came. Ung was about to say something else when he heard the sound of small feet approaching. He looked down to find a young one, so little that she barely stood taller than the square rock. She approached it with her stick lowered, poked it on one side, and then showed a full set of teeth.

She tossed the stick aside then bent to pick up the rock. She lifted it over her head and turned in place to show the women above. This time Ung was sure that the caterwauling he now heard was not a clawed-wing, though he almost wished it was. He stopped short of truly wishing because he did not want the gods to make it so and then have his face eaten, but it did give him an idea.

Ung wished very hard for the gods to save him from the women.

At that moment, the bottom of the god rock fell open and something tumbled out. It bounced off the young one’s head, and she loosened her hold on the rock, which fell, swallowing her up to her shoulders in the now open bottom.

The thing from inside fell to the ground, clacking against the stone at Ung’s feet, and then it sang, “Bop it!”

There was a gasp from the young one, coming hushed from inside the god rock. She turned to run back across the clearing, not daring to remove the thing from her head. She stumbled in her running, falling forward to land flat on the ground. She didn’t get up, but her legs kicked wildly.

Ung was too focused on the gift at his feet to notice. He prodded it with his toe and it fell to one side, singing again, "Twist it!”

He became so distracted that he forgot to look out for sharp sticks from above, but that didn’t matter. The women were in a panic. Some had lowered their sticks and raised their hands to the sky, giving praise to the gods. Others had already run out of sight, fearing the new thing.

Then there was his mother. She stood taller than many, and she held her stick out straight, pointed at Ung.

She shouted, “Ung!” and he understood her tone to mean that he was to blame for something. He also knew that tone meant she was about to throw the stick at him and hers always seemed to hurt most.

Not having any thoughts of what to do, he reached down and picked up the gift, which sang at his touch, “Pull it!”

“Ung!” his mother warned him, her stick held back at the ready, and her muscles tensed to throw. He quickly made a wish, raised the gift above his head, and looked his mother in the eyes.

The gift sang, “Flick it!”

This was the exact moment that the men on the other side of the cliffs finished beating open the god bug. Its buzzing had finally ended, and it sang one final song, “Sapient creatures, my extreme anti-vandalism protocol has been initiated. The Grand Hegemon wishes you peaceful journeys to your final resting places. Detonation in three, two…”

The skies over the woman's camp erupted in reds and golds, a great cloud rising to block out the sun. Ung’s mother dropped her stick, and the remaining women bowed low toward him. The young one freed herself from the god rock, and even she turned wide-eyed to stare up at what his wishing had done.

“Great job!” sang the gift.

“Ung,” he shrugged. That was a little more than he had wished for, but it would do. Not a bad start to the new sky, he thought. Not a bad start at all.