Two Moons

"Where I come from, there is only one moon that circles the sky."

The round-faced locals stare at my mouth as it forms words, and then they turn to each other, looking for anyone able to decipher.

I use my fat, suited finger to point upward.

"Look. You have two moons."

Their gaze shifts up, their necks stretch, but I cannot see any veins under their coral flesh. If they had eyebrows, they might have dropped one down in confusion.

It has only been a few hours since I walked off the ship, but the heavy gravity of their planet is already giving me a tension headache. Their confused, white-eyed glances only aggravate things.

It took two hundred and eighty years to find their planet and learn how to land safely on their gasious soil. My crewmates are waiting in their pods, safe and sound. And I am anxious to get back to them.

As the hired biologist, I knew I would be in over my head meeting an alien species. Seeing their bodies ever so slightly mimicking ours has prickled a particular discomfort known only in English as the uncanny valley.

One of them copies the point of my finger, and the others follow. Now, all five of us are standing in the dark, pointing up to the second moon.

All I can do now is try to communicate.

"Yes. Two moons. The moon where I come from is bright, and the light makes it look as if it takes on different shapes. There are specific words for all the moon phases, but I forgot them all besides crescent...oh, and full. Some people believe the moon affects our women. I could see that. It affects are tides, anyway. Your moons are misshapen and dull. But I bet you have names for them, too."

When they murmur, it sounds like the fluttering wings of a large bird. It must be their tongues, rattling inside their thin mouths. They turn back to me and speak, but they are incomprehensible. I wonder if those vibrating, hummingbird tongues would ever be able to learn English.

Their humming increases in speed and volume as I stare back at them.

"Enough of that! I just wanted you to understand the shock I'm in. I was told there would be life on Xion, but I wasn't expecting you to be the same height as me. Considering your dense atmosphere, I assumed you'd be smaller, more jelly-like. I had been picturing blob fish. But look at you! Standing on three feet and using language!"

They shift to stand closer together. I want to pick at my nails, but the thick suit prevents me from doing so. I kick some orange dust into the air. But it barely moves before it plummets back down to the ground.

They point back up toward one of the two moons.

"Yes, yes. Two moons. I told you already, it's interesting, but I'm over that. The real question is, what now? Should I round you up into my ship? Would you even survive once the oxygen turns on? I have cameras, would you wait around here for me to retrieve them? Even with photo evidence, no one is going to believe me. Not even my crewmates. Did you know millions of people believe the moon landing was a hoax! The nerve of some people."

They wait for me to finish ranting before one of the aliens extracts a silver chain from their stomach. The being reaches inside where their belly button might have been and digs around until a long chain uncurls toward my feet. In shock and in my bulky suit, I can not move away fast enough.

After another fluttering word, they slip the chain around my head and attached it around my suit. The tallest one tugs on the leash and the others seem thrilled, pointing up once again at the moons.

"Hey! There really is no need for all this. I'll hop in my ship and run along to the next planet. I might die before I get there, but it'd be better than being your pet. Just get this thing off me! And I'll leave you be! Promise!"

They turn their backs to me, but another set of white eyes continue to stare as they pull me along.

I drop to my knees and cry. The mask of my suit begins to fog. My oxygen tank dial beeps, warning me to take slower breaths.

One long finger taps on my mask. I look up at my kidnappers, to find them all pointing upward toward their second moon.

Then, the chain unhooks the head of my spacesuit. I plead with them and attempt miming a head exploding. But they pay my noise no heed and reveal my head to the elements.

I take a staggering breath. My throat constricts and I weeze until a horrid fluttering sounds from my thin mouth.