Twisted Tales for Toilet Time: Volume II, Part V

Eight AM

Once Upon an Hour of Time…

An elderly gentleman named Archibald awoke at 8am, as he did every morning. He put on his best suit, turned the kettle on, and placed a tea bag in his favourite mug. When the water boiled, he poured it into the mug. Then went to finish getting ready while it brewed. He placed two slices of bread in the toaster. One white, one brown. He layed out a plate, cutlery, and the spreads he favoured. Poured milk into the mug of tea, took the toast and tea to the table and sat.

He scraped generous serves of butter on to the brown toast, and marmalade on the white. He blew gently on his hot mug of tea and was about to take a sip.

What a lovely start to the day, he thought as he started to feel all warm inside.

Archibald is survived by his three children, and was found earlier this morning on his kitchen floor having suffered a fatal cardiac event.

Nine AM

Once Upon an Hour of Time…

It was nine hours past the midnight hour, in the morning, when the car pulled out of the driveway. There was nothing of particular interest about this car, or its owner for that matter. What is worth mentioning however, is how this car came to be upside down in the middle of a fish market stall. Eye-witness accounts describe seeing the car swerve out of the way of a passing group of infants, out to protest the price of formula. The car jumped the curb, crashed through the sliding glass doors of the markets and flipped. Finally sliding on its roof, knocking an elderly couple to the ground before coming to a stop ...

That day, and those events of which I tell you. Is how I came to inherit my grandparents house and their belongings… except their car, of course.

Ten AM

Once Upon an Hour of Time…

As the clock in the tower struck 10 most of the townsfolk were already in their homes with their windows shuttered and doors barricaded. It was foretold that on this day, the tenth hour of the tenth day of the tenth month of the tenth year in the new millennium. A great evil would fall upon this small town and wipe out all life there ...

People watched nervously as the sky darkened and flames rose from the ground. Things grew steadily worse, then without warning, it all stopped.

The sky cleared, and the ground sealed back up. People left the safety of their homes and gathered in the middle of the town.

‘Oh no!’ said a lady in the crowd looking at her digital wristwatch.

‘What is it?’ said her wife, keen to get to the cinema for the matinee show.

‘I forgot to adjust the clock tower … daylight savings started today …’

Eleven AM

The clock ticked slowly onto the correct pattern of hour and minute hands to read 11am. Some might argue a clock cannot tick slowly, that it ticks at the correct rate of seconds per second ... always.

To me, this clock felt slow. But I suppose when you’re waiting for a reply to a question, time will seem to slow to an unbearable rate.

It isn’t even that big of a question.

‘Are you ready?’ I asked again.

‘We’ll be late if we don’t leave soon.’

Still no reply. She just sat there, looking into the mirror, her gaze never shifting. No emotion visible.

‘Hurry up!’ came a cry from behind me. I jumped in fright.

She stood facing me. Fully dressed and ready. Having entered from another room while I wasn’t looking. I looked back to who I had been talking to, and waiting on, all this time ...

These 3D photo frames are getting really good.