Tropical Bounty

I was at the bank. The alarms were blaring. A baby was screaming.

"Shut the damn baby up lady," I shouted. I turned to the teller.

"Put the money in the bag faster. Hurry," I screamed. But before she could finish the police showed up and opened fire. They didn't even give me a chance to surrender.

I woke up in a cold sweat. I kept dreaming about all the things that could have gone wrong. My old psychiatrist said I had anxiety and prescribed me benzos.

I took out my pill bottle and popped my last one. I’d have to find a new psychiatrist on the island. Thank god for doctor patient privilege, they couldn’t disclose who I was to the police, even for the million dollar bounty on my head. I desperately needed more benzos if I had planned on getting more sleep any time soon.

I took a shower and walked outside to swim in the clear water outside of the hotel I purchased. I escaped with enough money to buy the place. I loved the tropical island I lived on. I had the top chef and best bartender now working for me too, so I was never short on good drinks or good food. And now that I owned my own business, I’d never have to worry about money again.

When I was done relaxing, I walked out of the water nude.

“Is skinny dipping allowed at the hotel?” I heard a woman yell. I looked up to see the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen.

“It’s my hotel. I make the rules,” I said.

“True, but you purchased the place with stolen money,” She said and pulled out a badge from her shirt.

“United States law enforcement has no jurisdiction here. And there’s no extradition treaty, either. Believe me, I did my research before coming here,” I said and called for security.

“First of all, I’m a bounty hunter, so normal law enforcement rules don’t apply to me. Second, you don’t need your security. If I was here to arrest you, I’d have brought backup. I’m well aware you’re a very dangerous individual,” she said.

“Then I’m assuming you’re also aware of the million dollar bounty on my head. So if you’re not here to collect, why are you here?” I asked her.

“You stole a lot more than a million dollars. And I’m sure you’ve made a few from this hotel here. I’m here to offer you my services,” She said.

“Your services? Why do I need a bounty hunter?” I asked.

“I can keep law enforcement off your back,” She said.

“That’s what security’s for,” I said.

“They might not be enough. If the police or international authorities decide to come looking for you, they’ll bring huge numbers with them. More than your security can handle. Trust me, I’ve seen it done before,” She said.

“So what are you going to do about it?” I asked.

“I’m a well-known bounty hunter. For the right price, I’ll tell them I know where you are, and if they give me the bounty money, I’ll point them in your direction. Then I’ll point them to some pond or cave in the jungle somewhere. That should buy you enough time to ‘disappear’ again,” She said.

“But I don’t want to disappear again. I’m enjoying running my hotel. I don’t want to run from my hotel. And it’s expensive to keep disappearing. Eventually I’ll run out of money and get caught, so no. But thanks for the offer,” I said.

“By disappearing, I mean you can change your identification. I know people that can help you with that. They’ll even make up escrow paperwork saying your old self sold the hotel to your new identity,” She said.

“And why would you do all this for me instead of collecting the bounty?” I asked.

“Because you’re going to split your money with me. Or you could cut me in for a share of the hotel profits. Either way, that’s worth more than the petty million dollar bounty. My other option would be to have my friend over there shoot you. Then I’d have no choice but to collect the bounty,” She said and gave a hand signal to somebody I couldn’t see. She then pointed to a red dot on my shirt.

“That’s right, I got a sniper. You’re in his crosshairs,” She said.

“There’s no need to shoot me. Your services might come in handy. What’s your name?” I asked.

“Annie,” She said.

“I’m John,” I said.

“I know,” Annie replied and giggled.

“You have a really nice laugh,” I said.

“You don’t need to flirt. Just cut me in,” Annie said.

“Let’s go for a walk,” I said. We walked down the sandy beaches and I smiled.

“How much do you want for your services,” I asked.

“How much are you offering?” Annie asked.

“Fifty grand a month,” I offered.

“Ha, don’t make me laugh. How about half a million a month, plus half a million up front,” she said.

“The hotel doesn’t make that much,” I said and laughed.

“Make me a decent offer then,” Annie said.

“How about one hundred thousand a month,” I said.

“One hundred and ten thousand. And that’s for both me and my friend. Plus health benefits,” She said.

“Deal,” I said and shook hands. We continued to walk down the beach, smiling and chatting with each other.

She interrupted me in the middle of talking and said, “I can see you find me attractive,” then looked down.

“I really should put some pants on,” I said. She smiled.

“No need. You’re kind of cute yourself,” She said and gave me a kiss. I kissed her back and smiled. We grabbed each other’s hands and walked back to the hotel.

“I think you’re my best hire,” I said.

“And you’re the best bounty I’ve ever collected,” She said and put her arm around my waste. This was the beginning of something very special. Maybe I wouldn’t need those benzos after all.

Copyright © 1/20/2023 by A.H. Mittelman. All rights reserved.