Train of Endings and Beginnings

♫ “Runaway Train never coming back. Wrong way on a one-way traack. Seems like I should be getting somewhere. Somehow I’m neither here nor theeere.”♪♪

I woke to the sound of Soul Asylum. I never cared much for that song, so why was it on my playlist?

And what was that smell? A heavy smell, sweet and spicy at the same time like the smell of perfume, I would never wear - or maybe of incense, I would never burn.

It was hard to breathe, and I got up to open a window. Or, I tried to get up, but I immediately fell down again, like I was trying to move forward in the middle of a blizzard and was pushed to the ground by its force.

Soul Asylum faded, and a new song played, ♫ “fly high where angels can’t breathe no more. Some dare to go blind, some stay behind”♫

I didn’t know the band, but it sounded like something I would listen to another day. I made a mental note to remember to google the band, and then I came back to reality - something wasn’t right. I didn’t feel like myself; I couldn’t get my thoughts together, and my brain was foggy. “Hvad fanden sker der?” I mumbled to myself.

What was going on? Had something happened to my legs? I felt anxious, as I became more present from my nap, realizing that something was completely off - but there was still a fogginess blurring my thoughts. I felt hungover, though I hadn’t had a drink in several months.

One of my earbuds fell out as I got on my knees, and then I noticed that this was not my room. I pulled myself up from the floor into a seat and looked around me. I looked out of the window, and I froze with horror.

I was definitely NOT in my room, but how the h… did I end up on a train? I had no recollection at all of getting on board - the last thing I remember doing was writing in my journal, and after that, I listened to a guided meditation - it always helped me with my anxiety, which had been through the roof lately.

I was baffled by this whole ‘set-up’. Trying to make sense of the situation, I just sat there and focused on breathing, “ind på 4, hold på 4, ud på 6” - I reminded myself of the importance of breathing deeply, watching my stomach fill with air like I was blowing up a balloon, as I took a deep breath counting to four. I held my breath while counting to four and exhaled 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

This was a situation that I had no control over; I had no idea what had happened to me, or how I got here. And I did not know what the ‘plan’ was - if there was one. Who had taken me from my room and put me on this train, that didn’t seem to slow down? Where and how would this ride end? How long would it take, before I could get off? And get off where? To what? The questions were many, and they were not helping me calm down, so I just breathed.

I just breathed.

Very slowly it felt like the fog in my brain was shifting, and I looked around once again; there was nothing but empty seats - and something that looked like a newspaper on the opposite table. I reached for it. Endings and Beginnings. This wasn’t a paper I had seen before.

The date stated July 28, 2022. I looked at my phone. That’s today. Okay, well I had to keep doing something to stay calm while I figured out what else I could do, so I opened the paper, thinking that reading the news would maybe help me stay present and focused. I. Could. Not. Have another panic attack right now.

“Our society is like a train going in one direction. There’s no telling if it will stay on track, or if it will suddenly derail and change course. “

“Virkelig? Det er sgu da løgn!” I said out loud. These were almost exactly my words (OK, not exactly, but close).

What was I to do with this? There had to be some connection between me reading this in a paper and actually BEING on a train right now. Right?

I spoke to a friend of mine the other day, she’s clairvoyant, and she agreed with me, when I told her, that a paradigm shift is underway. It’s been obvious since the pandemic; people have felt the importance of balancing work- and private life. We are getting better at speaking about our flaws and fears publicly - even on LinkedIn. We want to work smarter - not harder, and we care about mental health like never before. We have been coming together across the globe, connecting and supporting each other, and spreading love.

Yes, a change is coming, because mankind needs it. But until then, so much more hurt and pain, horror and death will come, and out of the ashes love will grow bigger and stronger, and it will be the foundation on which we will build our new reality, our new TRUTH.

I am not the only one seeking and SEEING the path to the New World. We are many sharing the same vision, but we also know, that it is a dangerous path to walk. It always has been dangerous to be a truth-teller. In the olden days, I would’ve been immolated, beheaded, or hanged for claiming to see the future. We have to be careful and wait until people are ready to hear what we have to say.

I hadn’t noticed the music for the last five or ten minutes, but now my attention shifted to my left ear where a song that I’d never heard before was playing: ♬ “... will you pretend that you were blind when you were really seeing?” ♬

Should I be writing this s...t down? Was someone trying to tell me something?

I mean, this was definitely not my playlist. And yet, it felt like someone had made me a mixtape.

I needed to stretch my legs and got up. The train was speeding, and I nearly lost my balance again, so I tightened every muscle in my body, and held on to the table in front of me.

I felt more like ME now, the old me, when I wasn’t anxious, worried, or in the middle of a panic attack. I felt more like the healthy INFJ-me, curious about everything, always seeing the bigger picture - seeking a deeper meaning. Visioning the future. The Sagittarius-me, who is more adventurous than afraid.

Breathing the right way does wonders for a runaway mind.

Okay, how to go about this? Undoubtedly, there’s a bigger meaning behind all of this. Things always happen for a reason. I remembered reading my timing on The Pattern yesterday, and a new cycle of EXPANDED UNIQUENESS would begin today.

Okay, I got this. I’ll figure it out, but It’s time to find the answer to a very important question. Was I the only passenger here?

I put my earbuds back in, looked behind me, and saw the backhead of a woman further up the train. I realized that’s where the smell came from.

In front of me, I spotted several heads and decided to start there, as I wasn’t too keen on getting closer to the woman and her perfume-stinking presence. I mean, if she was the only passenger besides me … but she wasn’t, so I moved slowly down the train swaying from side to side, stumbling but still on my feet. I counted 1, 2, 3, 4 … 26 heads.

As I was panting from exhaustion, they turned their heads to face me. They were all children. 26 children and no sign of an adult in the cart.

I fell down again and stayed down to think for a minute. 26 children. I remember reading something about 26 children, but I couldn’t remember the connection. I tried to google, but there was no signal. Instead, I opened The Pattern again in hope of a little guidance.

And breathe…

The soothing voices of Elton John and Eric Clapton brought me back.

♫ “Found a way home written on this map like red dye in my veins“ ♫