Torn

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. That sentence of hers replaying in my mind constantly as I hold the pistol to her head. Her sweet voice was so inquisitive as she said those words whilst looking out the ship’s window into the stars. Unlike now, as she sobs for mercy whilst the cold hard steel of the barrel presses against her forehead. She looks at me with eyes of question and betrayal, as tears roll down her cheeks that drip onto the hard command deck floor ‌she kneels upon. Her messy curly brunette hair, that I’d love to fix and hold on to once again, drapes over her white jumpsuit. Gosh, I wish I could go back to that moment, where I had my arms around her as we looked out the window at the sea of galaxies. But that is now in the past, and this decision will determine everything. My concentration breaks from the deep buzz of the bulky security droid that stands at the doorway of the command deck, accompanied by several others, with their automatic rifles aimed at me.

“Drop your weapon. You have fifteen seconds to comply.”

Its robotic growl trajects over the sound of humming engines and beeping computers, sending a chill up my spine as I know there is no way out of this with me surviving or going back to the way things were.

“Please,” she weeps. Her sobbing breaks my heart. Causing tears to form in my eyes. They may not ‌hear screams in space, but the scream that occupies my mind is deafening. Even though no one on this damn ship can hear it. My hand shakes as my teeth clench, whilst my grip of the gun handle tightens. A voice emits from my temple implant, a transmission of a man’s voice.

“Do it. Finish the job,” he says with no remorse, like he is enjoying watching me tear apart from the inside out.

“Shut up. Shut up!” I scream. A heavy clang echoes throughout the empty room as the security droids take one step closer. Their iron feet stomp with aggression as they clasp their rifles in their metal hands.

“You have ten seconds to comply.” It buzzes. I can feel the cold metallic gaze of its red laser eye upon me. Emotionless to understand. Even though the thought of having a pulse round tear through my spine is terrifying, I must continue my task. My duty. However, killing the love of my life is something I can not do either. The voice emits from my temple implant again - “Remember we had a deal? You are a man of your word, aren’t you?” He taunts. Knowing damn well I’d have trouble with this task. I frantically rub my forearm across my eyes, wiping the tears onto my white jumpsuit.

“You have five seconds to comply,” the droid warns again in a robotic growl. Their weapons emit a brief high-pitched whine as they prepare to pull the trigger. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I attempt to calm myself and think clearly. Recall all the events leading up to this moment. All the decisions that were made which contributed to this. All the actions that have now led to me holding a gun to my love’s head whilst security droids threaten to blow my brains out.

“Why?” she asks. Her gorgeous face is puffy from the crying.

“Why are you doing this?”

Why? I’m asking myself the same question. Let me recap, back to three weeks ago. Where it all began…