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To My Headless Stalker

First try diplomacy.

By Mark GagnonPublished 2 years ago 2 min read

Dear Headless Horseman,

I have decided to write you this letter because every time we get within speaking distance you try and cut off my head. I know that the jack-o-lantern you carry with you as a replacement for your missing head has no functioning eyes so maybe you can talk one of your undead friends with working eyes to read it to you. This is my last attempt at a peaceful resolution, so I hope it works.

Apparently, you object to me having a romantic interest in Katrina Van Tessel. You may have fancied her when you had a head, and for all I know she may have felt the same about you. I get it. You were a handsome Hessian horse soldier and I’m a tall, gawky, schoolteacher with a beak for a nose. The thing is, I’m alive and you’re not.

It’s my understanding that the Hessians were an all-volunteer mercenary organization which means, no one forced you to join. You made the choice, now you must live, sorry, die with it. And just for the record, I’m not the one who fired the cannon that blew off your head. You have no justification whatsoever for constantly harassing me every time I leave my house.

Sleepy Hollow has always been a welcoming community where people feel safe. Neighbors will greet each other with a wave and a smile. That’s why people named it Sleepy Hollow. It was a laid-back great place to bring up kids until you and your brethren took up residence here. Now we only offer sideways glances as we pass our neighbors on the road, afraid we may become ensnared by a demon’s evil eye. Yes, you and your ilk have transformed Sleepy Hollow, and it has not been for the best.

I hope after reading, or having someone read this letter to you, you will understand why it is imperative that you and your brethren leave our community immediately. I hate to offer threats, but if you remain, I will be forced to call in a team of exorcists to forcibly remove you and no one wants a violent resolution.

I hope you and yours have a peaceful afterlife.

Regards,

Ichabod Crane

This story is for Belle’s October, Dear Fictional Hero’s Challenge.

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About the Creator

Mark Gagnon

I have five published books: Mitigating Circumstances, Short Stories for Open Minds, Short Stories from an Untethered Mind, Unmitigated Greed, and Short Stories to Spark the Imagination.

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    Written by Mark Gagnon