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To Be Seen

"And then it was quiet."

By Jocelynn TaylorPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Image by epiphanyvp from Pixabay

Sometimes, when she closed her eyes, she could still see the brilliant flashes of light. When it was too loud and too much, she could hear the blast. The ground would vibrate under her shoes and images bombarded her mind. She forced herself to take breaths to calm down but the nausea rising in her throat was harder to justify away. A racing heart and shaky breaths sang an image to the wind of a desperate song. Her sweaty palms would rub against her pant leg as she tried to get the wet substance off her hands as fast as possible.

It built.

And it built.

And then it was quiet.

The quiet was almost worse. The loud noises and bright lights were nothing if not distracting. Sure, they were horrible. But you never have time to think about the tragedy something is in the moment. It’s when that moment is over when the problems come. When you can hear yourself think again, well, they say hindsight is 20/20. Clear vision is the enemy of ignorance.

Returning home had been hard. She had to start a new schedule and go about different activities. Everyone had prepared her for the physical changes. For the routine changes. She was done so she had to go back to a civilian’s life. But no one had prepared her for the complete mental shift she was going to take. She was now free to do whatever she wanted with her time but her mind was still a soldier’s.

There was a certain amount of respect that you got as a veteran in America. If they knew, people would often stop and thank her for her service. But many people didn’t know. She didn’t go around telling people in hope of gaining their awe. Why flaunt something when you yourself still hadn’t fully come to terms with it?

Still, it was nice to hear on the occasions that it came up. It showed that people cared about her sacrifice, even if they didn’t understand the cost that came with it.

Her brother told her one day what the green lights meant. People would replace their front porch lights with a green light to thank veterans. Often, the people who had green lights had a flag flying next to their door as well.

She would see the green lights on the porches, sometimes. They were always shining brightly and standing proudly. Even without ever speaking to her, people found a way to say ‘thank you’. For every flash of white behind her eyes and every phantom blast she heard, there were people saying thank you. For every image she still saw and would always see, someone else would never have to. The sick feeling in her stomach after reliving a memory might never go away. She would still struggle and that struggle would be hard. But she would be alright.

Because some people showed their support with green lights and flags. Some people knew that her sacrifice was for them. She would have gone anyway. Rarely do people give up everything for the praise they might get afterwards, if there even is an afterwards. It was never for the thanks or the songs or the praise. It was for people. It was for regular people that deserved to keep living their regular lives. To know that people cared and that people saw made gratitude twist her heart.

Because some people knew that she supported them with everything she had and everything she was. So they supported her in a way they knew how.

And being seen, that was enough.

Short Story
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About the Creator

Jocelynn Taylor

I love writing and was finally convinced to put some of my work out there!

Follow me @chachi_taylor on Instagram! I would always love to hear any reviews, constructive criticism, or to just talk about writing and books!

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